So, you’re curious about what sets lasting couples apart, huh?

It’s no secret that building a strong, enduring relationship takes more than just love—it takes effort, patience, and, yes, a few good habits.

The good news?

These habits aren’t as complicated as you might think!

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen firsthand how the little things often make the biggest difference. Today, we’re diving into eight surprisingly simple habits that couples who stand the test of time consistently practice.

Let’s get into ’em!

1) Real communication 

Without a doubt, communication is one of the most important habits of lasting couples.

I’ve seen this time and time again, and it’s widely acknowledged by experts in psychology, too.

For instance, Randi Gunther, a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor, wrote in a Psychology Today post:

“Open and vulnerable communication between intimate partners is at the core of a relationship’s capacity to survive and thrive.”

It’s a simple concept, but it’s surprising how often couples forget to truly communicate with each other.

And I’m not just talking about discussing what’s for dinner or who’s going to pick up the kids.

I’m talking about deep, meaningful conversations where you share your feelings, thoughts, dreams, and fears.

The most successful couples I’ve worked with have a habit of talking to each other with honesty and openness, even when it’s uncomfortable or difficult.

Yes, it can be hard work. Yes, it can sometimes lead to disagreements. But at the end of the day, communication bridges the gap between two individuals and strengthens their bond.

2) They hold hands often

I’ve observed something quite endearing about couples who have been together for a long time – they still hold hands.

It’s a simple gesture, but one that speaks volumes about their connection.

By holding hands, they create a physical link that is both comforting and reassuring. It’s a way of silently saying, “I’m here for you.”

This small act of intimacy can go a long way in fostering a strong and lasting bond.

In the words of the great John Lennon, “Love is touch, touch is love.” This small touch could just be the secret to long-lasting love.

Next time you’re out for a walk or sitting on the couch, reach out and hold your partner’s hand. Trust me; it works wonders.

3) They practice independence

Now, this might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out.

The happiest couples I’ve met are those who understand the importance of maintaining their individuality, even while being part of a couple.

They have their own hobbies, their own friends, and their own personal space.

This independence allows them to bring something new to the relationship, keeping it fresh and exciting.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss the importance of maintaining your individuality in a relationship.

If I do say so myself, it’s a great resource for anyone looking to strike a balance between ‘me’ and ‘we’.

But for now, just know that being in a relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself. It’s about becoming a better version of you, together with your partner.

4) They argue… constructively

Yes, you read that right. Couples that last aren’t the ones who never argue.

But they are the ones who know how to argue effectively and constructively. What do I mean by this?

Well, I mean, they don’t let their arguments escalate into personal attacks or blame games.

Instead, they focus on the issue at hand, express their feelings honestly, and work together to find a solution.

They view arguments as opportunities for growth rather than threats to their relationship.

So, don’t shy away from conflict; learn to solve it constructively and calmly.

As the folks at Very Well Mind put it, this can help you to “learn more about each other, maintain your boundaries, and resolve issues that might affect the long-term health of your relationship.”

5) They don’t expect to be happy all the time

We often expect that the couples that stay together for the long-haul are blissfully content all the time. 

But here’s the thing: they’re not.

Couples who stand the test of time understand that happiness isn’t a constant state.

They know that life throws curveballs—stressful days, disagreements, or just plain bad moods.

And they don’t expect their relationship to be an endless source of joy.

What makes these couples different is their ability to ride the waves of life together.

Instead of chasing happiness 24/7, they embrace the ups and downs, understanding that real connection comes from being there for each other in both the good times and the challenging ones.

Happiness isn’t the goal—it’s a byproduct of navigating life as a team.

6) They face hardships together

Let’s be honest, life isn’t always a bed of roses. Every relationship faces rough patches, and it’s how couples navigate these tough times that truly test their bond.

Couples that last don’t shy away from their problems or sweep them under the rug. They face them head-on, together.

They lean on each other for support and work as a team to overcome whatever life throws at them.

This raw honesty and mutual support during hardships not only strengthens their bond but also deepens their understanding of each other.

7) They make time for each other

Ever feel like life just gets too busy to truly connect with your partner?

Couples that last know this feeling all too well, but they’ve mastered the art of making time for each other, no matter how hectic things get.

It doesn’t always have to be grand gestures or elaborate date nights—sometimes it’s as simple as sitting down for a cup of coffee together or taking a quick evening walk.

These moments of connection are non-negotiable. They know that without regular time spent together, it’s easy to drift apart.

Prioritizing each other, even in small ways, keeps their bond strong and thriving.

Time is precious—so they make sure to spend it wisely.

8) They forgive and let go

This is perhaps one of the most challenging yet essential habits of couples that last – the ability to forgive and let go.

Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. And in a relationship, these mistakes can sometimes cause pain and disappointment.

But holding onto grudges or resentment can only poison your relationship over time.

Strong couples understand this. They choose to forgive each other’s imperfections and let go of past mistakes.

They focus on learning from these experiences and moving forward together.

It’s not always easy, and it requires a lot of strength and maturity.

But this raw honesty with oneself and one’s partner can pave the way for a much stronger, more resilient relationship.

Conclusion

And there you have it – 8 surprisingly simple habits of couples that last.

They might seem simple, but trust me, they can make a world of difference in the longevity of your relationship.

It’s not always about the grand gestures but the small, consistent acts of love and understanding that truly make a relationship last.

If you’re looking for more advice on maintaining a healthy and happy relationship, do check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It’s packed with insights and practical tips to help you build a stronger bond with your partner.

As always, I hope you found some value in this post. 

Keep learning, keep growing, and most importantly, keep loving.