Navigating relationships can be a complicated affair, especially when insecurities come into play.

As the founder of the Love Connection blog and a relationship expert, I’ve seen how these insecurities can subtly affect our interactions with our partners.

The difference lies in understanding. Insecurity can cause us to act in ways we don’t even realize, subtly influencing our relationships.

Psychology helps us peel back the layers of these actions, revealing the real reasons behind what we do. And being aware of these 8 subtle things insecure people do in relationships can make all the difference.

Let’s delve into this topic and shed some light on these subtle habits. Because understanding is the first step towards growth, right?

1) They constantly seek validation

One of the most telling signs of insecurity in a relationship is an incessant need for validation.

This goes beyond the occasional desire to feel appreciated; it’s a persistent craving for reassurance about their worth, attractiveness, or role in the relationship.

Insecure individuals often look to their partners to fill a void that stems from their own self-doubt, placing undue pressure on the relationship.

For example, they might frequently ask questions like, “Do you really love me?” or “Are you sure you’re happy with me?”

While these questions can seem innocent, the underlying neediness can become emotionally draining over time.

They may also rely heavily on compliments or affirmations to feel secure, creating an imbalance where their self-esteem hinges on their partner’s responses.

In the long run, this behavior can strain the relationship.

Constantly seeking validation not only puts the partner in the position of a perpetual cheerleader but also prevents the insecure individual from developing self-assurance.

True emotional security comes from within, and addressing this need for external reassurance is key to building a healthier, more balanced connection.

2) They struggle with jealousy

Anyone who’s been in a relationship knows that a little bit of jealousy can be quite normal. But when it starts to control your actions and thoughts, that’s when it becomes a problem.

Insecure people often struggle with jealousy. They constantly compare themselves to others and feel threatened by their partner’s interactions with other people.

It reminds me of a quote by former President Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It’s so true, isn’t it?

The more we compare ourselves to others, the less satisfied we become with our own lives and relationships.

I’ve observed this in my years as a relationship expert. The jealousy rooted in insecurity doesn’t just erode trust – it can also create a mountain of misunderstandings and arguments.

Remember, every relationship is unique and comparison will only rob you of the joy and fulfillment yours can bring. Focus on building trust and open communication with your partner instead.

3) They are overly dependent

Dependency is a natural part of relationships. We lean on each other for support, love, and companionship.

But when dependency turns into an unhealthy level of reliance, it can signal deep-seated insecurities.

Insecure individuals often have difficulty standing on their own two feet and rely heavily on their partners for emotional support. This over-reliance can strain the relationship and create an imbalance that’s hard to rectify.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeply into this issue and provide practical tools to help individuals break free from harmful patterns of dependency.

A healthy relationship is about balance. It’s about being there for each other, but also being there for yourself. It’s about loving your partner, but also loving yourself.

Don’t lose sight of your individuality in the quest for companionship.

4) They overcompensate with perfection

This one might seem counterintuitive, but hear me out.

Insecure individuals often feel the need to present a flawless facade. They believe that if they’re perfect, they’ll be more loveable and less likely to be abandoned or hurt.

Ironically, this pursuit of perfection can actually create more problems in a relationship.

No one is perfect, and trying to maintain such an image can be exhausting and put unnecessary pressure on both partners.

The truth is, being authentic, with all our flaws and quirks, is what truly strengthens relationships. It allows for true connection and deepens intimacy.

So don’t be afraid to let your guard down and show your real self – imperfections and all.

5) They avoid conflict

Conflict in relationships is inevitable. It’s how we handle it that makes all the difference.

Insecure individuals often shy away from conflict. They fear that disagreements or arguments could lead to rejection or the end of the relationship.

So they keep quiet, suppress their feelings, and avoid confrontation at all costs.

I’ve seen this behavior in many of the couples I’ve counseled over the years. But let me tell you, sweeping things under the rug never helps in the long run. It only leads to resentment and a build-up of unexpressed feelings.

Healthy conflict is essential for growth and understanding in a relationship.

So don’t be afraid to express your feelings and address issues head-on. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it’s better than bottling things up.

Remember, it’s not about winning or losing an argument, it’s about understanding and compromise.

6) They have a hard time accepting love

This might be hard to swallow, but insecurity can often make us our own worst enemy in love.

Insecure people sometimes struggle with accepting love. They can’t believe that someone would genuinely care for them, let alone love them.

They’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for their partner to realize they’re not good enough and leave.

It’s a painful way to live, always questioning the sincerity of your partner’s feelings and doubting your own worthiness of love. It’s like living in a constant state of fear, expecting heartbreak at every turn.

But let me tell you, everyone deserves love and everyone is worthy of it. You are worthy. It might take time and effort to truly believe that, but once you do, it will transform your relationships and your life.

7) They’re always on the defensive

Ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells around someone because they’re always ready to defend themselves? That’s a classic sign of insecurity.

Insecure individuals often interpret innocent comments or actions as personal attacks. They’re always on guard, ready to defend themselves even when there’s no threat.

Constantly being on the defensive not only strains relationships but also prevents open and honest communication.

In my years as a relationship expert, I’ve learned that understanding and empathy are key in such situations.

Instead of getting upset or retaliating, try to understand where your partner is coming from.

Show them that they don’t need to be on the defensive with you. It may take time and patience, but it will certainly be worth it in the end.

8) They overanalyze everything

Overthinking is often a silent partner to insecurity. And let me tell you, it’s a partnership that can wreak havoc on relationships.

Insecure individuals often overanalyze every word, action and silence from their partner. They constantly look for hidden meanings or signs of potential problems, creating issues where none exist.

This constant state of worry and stress is not only exhausting, but it also prevents them from enjoying the relationship. Every moment is consumed by worry instead of being spent in the joy of love and companionship.

Being honest here, it’s a tough cycle to break. But understanding that our thoughts are not always facts can be a game-changer.

We need to learn to take things at face value and not let our insecurities cloud our judgement. Not everything needs to be dissected and analyzed – sometimes a smile is just a smile.

Wrapping up

Insecurity can subtly influence relationships in many ways, but recognizing these signs is the first step towards managing it. We all have our insecurities, but it’s how we handle them that matters.

Just remember, it’s okay to be vulnerable and ask for help. If you or your partner are struggling with some of these issues, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I offer a deeper insight into these issues and practical strategies to overcome them.

At the end of the day, understanding, compassion and communication are the keys to dealing with insecurity in relationships.

And remember, you are worthy of love and happiness. Don’t let insecurities rob you of the joy of loving and being loved.