Growing apart is a part of life. Sometimes, people we thought would be in our lives forever seem to drift away, and it’s not always easy to pinpoint why. 

In my time as a relationship expert, I’ve seen this happen more times than I can count. It’s subtle, often confusing, and can leave you second-guessing yourself. But trust me, there are signs.

In this article, we’ll go through 7 subtle signs that you’ve outgrown each other. These are the little things that can sneak up on you, gradually changing the dynamics of your relationship without you even noticing.

And because I know how tough it can be to navigate these waters alone, we won’t stop at just identifying the signs. We’ll also discuss what to do next.

Understanding is the first step towards resolution. With these insights, you’ll be better equipped to make decisions that serve both you and your relationship well.

1) A shift in priorities

It’s normal for people to change over time – our tastes, interests, and priorities evolve. But when you’re in a relationship, these shifts can sometimes indicate that you’ve outgrown each other.

Have you noticed a significant change in your partner’s priorities? Or perhaps it’s you who has started to value different things in life.

When your life goals and values no longer align, it can feel like you’re rowing in different directions. And it’s a telling sign that you’ve outgrown each other.

This doesn’t mean the end of the road, though. Recognizing this shift is the first step towards understanding what’s happening in your relationship. And with understanding comes the chance for conversation, compromise, and perhaps a newfound connection. But more on that later.

2) Silence feels uncomfortable

Silence can be golden, especially in a relationship. It signifies a level of comfort and understanding where words are not always necessary. But what happens when these quiet moments start to feel awkward, heavy, or even suffocating?

Ironically, when silence starts to feel uncomfortable, it’s a sign that something might be amiss. You might find yourself scrambling to fill the silence with small talk, or worse, avoiding those quiet moments altogether.

Sound familiar?

This might mean you’re outgrowing each other. It indicates that the connection that once made silence comfortable is waning.

It’s not an immediate cause for alarm. Sometimes, it just means you need to reestablish your connection with each other. 

3) You’re more independent, but not in a good way

It’s great to be independent. In fact, in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk a lot about the importance of maintaining your individuality while in a relationship.

But there’s a fine line between healthy independence and emotional distance.

If you find yourself always preferring to do things alone rather than with your partner, or if you’re no longer sharing important aspects of your life with them, it might be a sign that you’ve outgrown each other.

Of course, it’s perfectly normal to enjoy solitude and have personal interests. But when these habits start replacing shared experiences or causing emotional disconnection, it could be an indication of growing apart.

4) You’re not excited about future plans

Remember the days when planning for the future with your partner filled you with excitement and anticipation? If those feelings have been replaced with dread, indifference, or confusion, it’s a red flag. 

Steve Jobs once said, “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”

This principle applies to relationships, too. You should be excited about the journey ahead with your partner. If not, it might be time to re-evaluate.

If you can relate to this, consider it an opportunity to communicate and figure out what’s causing this change in sentiment. Whether it’s dissatisfaction, boredom or lack of fulfilment, acknowledging this sign can help you address it head-on.

5) You feel a nagging sense of dissatisfaction

You know that feeling when you can’t quite put your finger on what’s wrong, but something just feels off?

It’s a subtle, nagging sense of dissatisfaction, and it’s easy to dismiss or ignore. But in my experience, this feeling should not be taken lightly.

When you’re constantly feeling dissatisfied in your relationship, even when there are no apparent issues, it can indicate that you’ve outgrown each other. It’s as if your subconscious is trying to tell you something, and it’s worth paying attention to.

This might manifest as a constant itch for change, or a feeling that things could be better. It’s not about perfection, but about a deep-seated feeling of fulfilment and happiness in your relationship.

6) You’re staying out of habit, not love

This one is tough to admit, but it’s crucial.

Sometimes, we stay in relationships not because we’re still in love, but because we’re used to them. It’s comfortable, familiar, and breaking away can seem more daunting than staying unhappy.

If you find yourself sticking around out of habit, or because you’re afraid of what change might bring, it’s not a good sign. It indicates that the relationship is more about convenience than connection, routine than romance.

There’s no sugarcoating this – it’s a painful realization. But it’s also an important one. Honesty with ourselves is often the first step towards real change and growth.

7) Your gut is telling you something

Do you have that instinctive sense that something’s not quite right, even if you can’t logically explain why?

If your gut is telling you that you’ve outgrown each other, don’t ignore it.

Yes, it’s scary to confront such feelings, especially when everything seems fine on the surface. But acknowledging this sign can save you from prolonged dissatisfaction and confusion.

Remember, your feelings are valid, and they’re trying to guide you. Listen to them.

Embracing the journey of change

The journey of a relationship is never a linear one. There are peaks and valleys, moments of joy and moments of pain, instances of growth, and instances of regression.

The constant through it all is change. As we evolve, so do our relationships.

Signs that you’ve outgrown each other are not necessarily bad. They are simply indicators of change, of evolution. And as difficult as it may be to acknowledge, sometimes growing apart is a part of growing up.

As the renowned author Anais Nin once wrote, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

It’s in acknowledging these signs that we can truly understand where our relationship stands and what our heart truly desires.

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