Relationships are about sharing life’s ups and downs, supporting each other, and growing together. But what if you’re starting to feel like you’re carrying most of the weight?

Maybe it’s that they lean on you for every decision, or you’re always the one handling the tough stuff.

At first, these might seem like small things, but over time, they add up—and before you know it, you might find yourself in a one-sided partnership.

If you’re wondering whether your partner is depending on you a little too much, don’t worry; you’re not alone. Many people don’t recognize the subtle signs of an unbalanced relationship until it’s weighing them down.

Let’s dive into eight subtle signs that your partner might be unfairly dependent on you—straight from your relationship expert and founder of Love Connection, Tina Fey.

1) They’re always asking for your opinion

It’s a wonderful thing when your partner values your thoughts and seeks your advice.

However, there’s a difference between wanting your input and becoming overly reliant on it.

For instance, from choosing what to wear to deciding what to have for dinner, if they’re always turning to you for the final say, it’s time to take notice.

Dependency becomes unhealthy when your partner can’t seem to function without your input. If this is a recurring pattern, it might be a sign that they have become overly reliant on you.

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen this behavior lead to resentment and frustration in the long run.

A healthy relationship involves two independent individuals who can make decisions on their own, while still valuing each other’s opinions.

2) You’re their only source of happiness

Being someone’s reason to smile is undeniably sweet. But when you become their sole source of joy, it can create an uneasy dynamic in the relationship.

In my own relationships, I’ve noticed that it is most rewarding when both partners have their own hobbies, interests, and sources of joy outside the relationship.

This creates a balance, where both individuals bring something unique to the table.

Therefore, if your partner doesn’t seem to have any interests outside of your relationship or if they seem lost or unhappy without you, it might be time for a serious conversation.

Remember, a healthy relationship is about complementing each other, not completing each other.

3) They rely on you for their self-esteem

It’s flattering when your partner looks up to you. But if they constantly need your validation to feel good about themselves, that’s a clear sign of unfair dependence.

I’ve seen this in many couples I’ve worked with. When one partner relies on the other for their self-worth, it puts an enormous amount of pressure on the relationship.

It’s not healthy or sustainable in the long run.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss this issue at length.

I delve deep into understanding why people become overly reliant on their partners for their self-esteem and how they can break free from it.

A healthy relationship is made up of two individuals who have a solid sense of self-worth and do not rely on one another for validation.

4) They’re always around

It’s natural to want to spend a lot of time with your partner, especially in the early stages of a relationship. But there’s such a thing as too much togetherness.

Counterintuitively, if your partner is always around, never wanting to spend time apart, it might be a sign of unfair dependence.

Time apart allows each of you to maintain your individuality and personal interests, which are crucial for a healthy partnership.

Having space for yourself isn’t about distancing from your partner, but about maintaining your own identity. It’s about having time to enjoy your hobbies, hang out with friends, or just have some alone time.

Having some time apart can actually strengthen your relationship.

5) They don’t handle your achievements well

In a healthy relationship, your partner should celebrate your victories with you.

However, if they seem threatened or insecure about your achievements, it might be a sign of unfair dependence.

From my personal experience, I’ve seen this happen even in the most loving relationships. When one partner starts to excel in their career or personal life, the other might feel left behind and become insecure.

This could lead to them becoming overly clingy or dependent, as a way to keep the status quo.

Instead of being happy for you, they might see your success as a threat to the relationship.

True love is about uplifting each other and celebrating each other’s successes. Your achievements should be a source of joy for both of you.

6) They’re constantly afraid of losing you

Fear of loss is a natural human emotion. But when it becomes a constant source of anxiety in your relationship, it’s a warning sign of unhealthy dependence.

Let’s be frank here. If your partner is always afraid of losing you, it can lead to clinginess, controlling behavior, and intense jealousy.

This fear often stems from a lack of self-esteem and an unhealthy dependence on you for their sense of security.

An overly anxious partner might:

• Demand reassurance constantly
• Invade your personal space
• Try to isolate you from friends and family out of fear

A healthy relationship is built on trust and security, not fear and insecurity.

It’s about being two whole people who choose to be together, not two halves trying to make a whole.

7) They have difficulty making decisions without you

Every now and then, we all crave a little guidance from our partners. But if your partner consistently struggles to make even the smallest decisions without you, it’s a red flag indicating unfair dependence.

I remember a couple I counseled where one partner would hesitate to even pick a movie to watch without the other’s input.

This kind of behavior signifies an excessive reliance on the other partner.

As the great Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You must do the things you think you cannot do.” Your partner needs to believe in their own decision-making abilities and build their confidence.

8) They struggle when you’re not around

It’s a great feeling to be missed by your partner. But if they can’t function properly when you’re not around, it’s a clear sign of unfair dependence.

Let’s be real here. If your partner can’t handle day-to-day tasks or make decisions without you, it indicates an unhealthy level of reliance on you.

Love is about two independent individuals coming together to share their lives, not losing themselves in the process. Both partners should be able to stand on their own feet even when they’re apart.

Conclusion

Spotting these subtle signs of unfair dependence can be eye-opening, but remember: recognizing them is the first step toward building a healthier, more balanced relationship.

Relationships thrive when both people bring their strengths, support each other, and grow as individuals and as a team.

If you’re facing the issues we discussed today in your relationship, consider reading my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It provides practical advice and insights on how to address and overcome dependency issues in relationships.

By addressing these imbalances, you’ll be laying the foundation for a partnership where each person feels valued, capable, and genuinely fulfilled.

After all, the best relationships are built on equality, respect, and the shared adventure of life together.