Are subtle changes in your partner’s behavior making you question the respect in your relationship?

Do you find yourself pondering whether these are just minor issues or signs of a deeper problem?

Hello, I’m Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and a dedicated relationship expert. Often, the most profound signs of disrespect are not the loud arguments but the quieter, subtler signals that we might easily overlook.

In this article, I’ll outline 7 key signs that suggest your partner may not genuinely respect you or value your relationship. These indicators, while subtle, are potent red flags that warrant your attention.

So let’s dive in, shall we?

1) They belittle your feelings

Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. They’re not necessarily a red flag. However, how these disagreements are handled can speak volumes about your partner’s respect for you.

When you express your feelings, does your partner make light of them? Do they shrug off your concerns as if they’re trivial or unimportant? This could be a subtle sign of disrespect.

Belittling someone’s feelings is an attempt to diminish their significance. It’s a way of saying that your emotions and concerns are irrelevant or exaggerated.

Genuine respect involves acknowledging each other’s feelings, even if they seem irrational or unnecessary to the other person. Your feelings are valid simply because you feel them, no matter what your partner thinks about them.

2) They interrupt you constantly

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen this one many times. You’re in the middle of expressing a thought or an idea, and your partner cuts you off. It’s as if what you have to say isn’t valuable or worth listening to.

Interrupting someone while they’re speaking is a sign of disrespect. It suggests that your partner believes their thoughts or opinions are more important than yours.

Think about it – when someone genuinely respects you, they value your input and want to hear your thoughts. They wouldn’t constantly interrupt you because they’d be interested in what you’re saying.

As the legendary Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” If your partner’s constant interruptions leave you feeling disrespected and insignificant, that’s a clear sign something isn’t right.

Communication is a two-way street, and respect should be at the heart of it.

3) They don’t value your time

Time is one of the most precious commodities we have. When someone doesn’t respect your time, it’s hard to avoid the conclusion that they don’t respect you.

Does your partner frequently cancel plans at the last minute? Or maybe they’re always late for dates, without a valid reason or a simple apology. These might seem like small things, but they add up to a bigger picture of disrespect.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into how these subtle signs can escalate into larger issues. I explain how to identify these signs early and take steps to address them before they harm your relationship irreparably.

4) They’re overly nice

This one might sound a bit counterintuitive. After all, shouldn’t a partner being nice be a good thing? Well, not always.

There’s a difference between genuine kindness and excessive niceness that veils hidden motives. If your partner is overly nice all the time, to the point where it feels unnatural or forced, it could be a sign of disrespect.

Overly nice behavior can sometimes be a manipulation tactic to divert your attention from their lack of respect. It’s their way of saying, “See, I’m being so nice to you. You can’t possibly accuse me of disrespect.”

Genuine respect doesn’t have to be dressed up in constant niceness. It’s about honesty, consideration and treating each other as equals. So if your partner’s niceness feels too good to be true, it might just be.

5) They don’t include you in decisions

In my years of helping couples navigate their relationships, I’ve found that one common sign of disrespect is when one partner makes decisions that affect both parties without consulting the other.

Whether it’s about financial matters, social plans, or significant life decisions, a respectful partner will always consider your viewpoint before deciding. But if your partner often makes unilateral decisions without your input, it indicates a lack of respect for you and for the partnership.

Respect in a relationship means acknowledging that it’s a team effort. It’s about valuing each other’s opinions and making joint decisions. If you’re often left feeling sidelined, it might be time to have an open discussion about respect in your relationship.

6) They consistently prioritize others over you

This is a subtle one, but it’s a sign I’ve seen all too often in my years as a relationship expert. A partner who consistently prioritizes others over you can indicate a lack of respect.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s healthy and important to maintain relationships outside of your romantic partnership. But if your partner always chooses their friends, family, or even work over spending time with you, that’s a red flag.

A relationship involves two people, equally committed to each other’s happiness. A famous quote by Albert Einstein comes to mind: “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” But once you fall in love, there should be a gravitational pull towards each other’s happiness and well-being.

7) They don’t apologize sincerely

We all make mistakes. We’re human, it’s inevitable. But a clear sign of respect in a relationship is acknowledging those mistakes and offering a genuine apology.

If your partner rarely apologizes, or if their apologies feel dismissive or insincere, that’s a raw sign of disrespect.

A sincere apology shows that they value your feelings and are willing to take responsibility for their actions. But an insincere apology, or lack thereof, can leave you feeling disrespected and undervalued.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these subtle signs of disrespect in your relationship can be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s the first step towards addressing the issue.

Everyone deserves a partner who respects them and values their relationship. If these signs resonate with you, it may be time to have an open and honest conversation with your partner.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I dive deeper into these issues and provide practical advice on how to handle them.

Relationships are complex, but with understanding, respect, and a little bit of work, they can be the most rewarding part of our lives. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.