The bad news is that almost half of marriages end in divorce.

The good news is that you can take some preventive steps that’ll decrease your chances of separation and improve the quality of your marriage overall.

And which steps are those, you may ask?

Well, the first rule is not to settle for someone just because it’s convenient and comfortable.

As for the other rules, let’s find out…

Here are the 6 subtle signs your marriage is built to last.

1) You’re best friends

People often say that their spouses are their best friends, but what many don’t realize is that having someone as your best friend isn’t just about spending a lot of time with them.

Friendship isn’t just something you take as a given. It’s something you build together.

Look at the people you’ve actively chosen as your besties. Look at the emotional connection you have, the conversations until 2 AM in the morning during a sleepover, and the memes you send one another.

Does your partner meet the same criteria?

Do they also make you laugh? Do they take the time to get to know you on a deeper level no matter how long you’ve been together for? Do you feel so emotionally connected that you never have to put on a front or hold yourself back?

Do they match your energy?

These are some vital questions to ask yourself because a sexual connection only goes so far. What holds marriages together over the course of a lifetime isn’t sex. It’s a strong foundation of friendship.

It’s an intimate understanding of souls.

2) You’re sexually compatible

Just because friendship is the most important relationship pillar doesn’t mean that sex doesn’t play any role whatsoever.

It very much does. In fact, these two factors are often interconnected.

“For couples, emotional connection and sexual intimacy are dynamically related with other aspects of the marriage,” says Laurie J Watson PhD, LMFT, LPC, a certified sex therapist. “Difficulties in one area, such as sex, often destabilize other areas and threaten to loosen our attachment to our partner.”

She continues: “For some people, the desire to be sexual is the result of warm emotional connection. But for others, perhaps because of their histories, physiology, or attachment styles (their particular love map), sex may actually be the necessary precursor for emotional vulnerability.”

It doesn’t really matter how high or low your sexual drive is or what your preferences in the bedroom are– as long as your drive and desires are compatible with those of your spouse, that is.

Sure, there are plenty of things that people learn along the way about one another. You don’t need to get everything right from the get-go.

But if there are inherent incompatibilities in your preferred dynamic or if there’s an energetic misalignment, you may have a problem on your hands.

3) You’re all about gentle honesty

Honesty is integral to the healthy functioning of a romantic relationship. You probably know that.

But one thing that people often don’t consider is that there are different kinds of honesty, and it’s all a matter of how you phrase things.

So-called “brutal honesty”, for example, is really nothing more than cruelty in disguise. You don’t ever need to be brutal in order to be truthful. If you’re brutal, it means you’re probably not putting enough effort into your phrasing.

Gentle honesty is the best way to handle conflict, bring up certain issues within the relationship, and tell your partner the truth without hurting their feelings.

4) You approach problems as a team

And while we’re on the topic of conflict, let’s move on to the next sign: effective conflict resolution.

There will come a point in every marriage when you don’t see eye to eye. That’s a given. No couple can get along 24/7. Eventually, you will butt heads.

But it isn’t so much about the problem itself as much as your approach to it that determines the success of your marriage.

So, how do you resolve conflict in a productive (rather than destructive) way?

Psychotherapist Moshe Ratson MBA, MFT, advises:

“Stay calm and listen with curiosity to understand your partner while finding common ground. Respect both of your boundaries and rights while being willing to compromise and negotiate. Stay open-minded and make sure you maintain a caring relationship with your partner regardless of conflict and its outcome.”

“Finally, thank the other person for their time and effort, summarizing what you agreed upon, expressing appreciation, and hoping for a stronger relationship and a bright future,” he adds.

And if you’re already doing all those things…

Congratulations! That’s another sign your marriage is built to last ticked off our list.

5) You never fail to appreciate each other

Saying “Thank you” or “I appreciate you” may sound like something so simple it’s not even worth mentioning.

But this couldn’t be further from the truth. As you probably already know, it is often the small and simple things that make a marriage last, and appreciation is no different.

In fact, expert Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D. says that “feeling appreciated by one’s partner is like ‘glue’ that can help keep a relationship together during tough times. People who experience a sense of appreciation from their partners are better able to navigate conflict and financial stressors.”

And why is that?

Well, Degges-White explains:

“When someone makes us feel appreciated, it does a lot for our self-esteem, our self-confidence, and our self-appraisal. It feels good to have someone recognize us for the things we do. It also makes us feel good to express gratitude to another—when we do something to make another feel good, we, in turn, feel good about ourselves.”

Here are a few signs your marriage is built to last:

• You thank each other often (even if it’s just for a cup of tea or a compliment)
• You do little things for one another without expecting anything in return
• You tell each other how much you love and value your partner
• You don’t take one another for granted

If you’ve ticked off all of them, it means your marriage has a higher chance of lasting years and decades.

6) You’re both willing to grow as people

On a final note, every person’s inherent purpose in life is to experience the world to its fullest and to grow through those experiences.

This doesn’t only contribute to individual life satisfaction but also to the well-being of one’s romantic relationships.

Why?

Because if one person grows and the other stagnates, you will soon arrive at a point where you’re no longer compatible.

While one party is miles ahead, the other one lags behind, and the whole situation isn’t fair to either of them.

Growth is essential to a healthy long-term marriage.

So, if you and your spouse constantly go outside your comfort zones, encourage each other to expand your horizons, and support one another as you both branch out and grow…

You’ve guessed it.

It’s the final sign your marriage is built to last.