We all strive for peace of mind, but it’s not always easy to recognize when we’re falling short.

Thankfully, psychology suggests there are subtle signs that suggest you might not be as serene as you think you are. It’s not about being unhappy or stressed, it’s more about feeling unsettled within your own skin.

In this article, I’ll share nine signs that you’re not at peace with yourself, dug out from the depths of psychology.

By the end of it, you’ll be better equipped to understand your own inner world and maybe even find a clearer path to personal tranquility.

1) Constant self-doubt

We all have moments of self-doubt. It’s perfectly natural, and sometimes, it can even be beneficial. It keeps us grounded, allows us to reconsider our choices, and stops us from becoming overconfident.

But there’s a difference between occasional self-doubt and a constant state of questioning yourself.

If you’re always second-guessing your decisions or feel like you’re not good enough, it’s a clear sign that you’re not at peace with yourself.

According to psychology, this constant self-doubt arises from an underlying sense of insecurity or inadequacy. It’s a subtle sign that you’re not in harmony with your inner self.

Remember, it’s one thing to strive for improvement and another to always feel less than what you are. It’s important to strike a balance – appreciate your strengths, acknowledge your weaknesses, and remember that it’s okay to be imperfect.

2) A persistent feeling of restlessness

I remember a time in my life when I would wake up each morning with an unexplainable sense of restlessness.

It was as if there was something I needed to do, or somewhere I needed to be, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I was constantly on edge, unable to fully relax or enjoy my day-to-day activities.

This persistent feeling of restlessness, I later learned, is a common sign of inner disquiet. According to psychology, it often reveals an underlying disconnection from one’s self.

When you’re at peace with yourself, you’re content in your own space and comfortable with your own company. You don’t feel the need to be always doing something or rushing somewhere.

If you find yourself constantly restless like I once was, it might be a subtle sign that you’re not fully at peace with yourself.

Pay attention to this feeling and try to understand its root cause. Sometimes, the key to finding inner peace lies in recognizing and addressing these subtle signs.

3) Difficulty sleeping

Sleep is our body’s way of recharging and rejuvenating. It’s essential for physical health, mental clarity, and overall well-being.

But when you’re not at peace with yourself, a good night’s sleep can often seem like a distant dream.

Trouble sleeping or having restless nights is a common sign of anxiety or worry. According to studies, individuals with higher levels of internal distress often experience poor sleep quality.

Your subconscious mind works on your thoughts and emotions even when you’re asleep. Thus, inner turmoil or unresolved issues can disrupt your sleep, leading to insomnia or fitful sleep.

If you’re finding it hard to get a good night’s rest despite maintaining proper sleep hygiene, it might be a subtle sign that something’s amiss within you.

Listen to this sign and try to identify what’s causing your distress. The path to inner peace often involves confronting and resolving these internal conflicts.

4) Always on the defensive

Have you ever found yourself reacting defensively to even the smallest criticism or suggestion?

Or perhaps you feel like you’re constantly on guard, ready to defend your actions, words, or choices?

This heightened defensiveness is a subtle sign that you might not be at peace with yourself.

According to psychology, when we’re not secure in our own skin, we tend to perceive others’ words and actions as personal attacks, even when they’re not intended that way.

This defensiveness stems from a fear of judgment or a need for validation.

If you’re at peace with yourself, you’re secure in your identity and your choices. You don’t feel the need to constantly defend yourself because you understand that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and it doesn’t define your worth.

So, the next time you find yourself getting defensive, take a step back and ask yourself why. It could be a valuable starting point towards finding inner peace.

5) Difficulty being alone

The ability to be alone and enjoy your own company is a strong indication of being at peace with yourself.

But if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, anxious, or fearful when alone, it might be a sign that you’re not quite there yet.

Discomfort with solitude often indicates unresolved issues or negative self-perception. You might be using the noise and distractions of the outside world to drown out your inner turmoil or negative self-talk.

In contrast, when you’re at peace with yourself, solitude becomes a welcome opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. You’re comfortable in your own skin and enjoy the space to connect with your inner thoughts and feelings.

So if being alone is a struggle for you, it might be time to take a closer look at what’s going on inside. Remember, the journey to inner peace often involves facing and resolving our internal issues head-on.

6) Neglecting self-care

Self-care isn’t just about spa days or indulgent treats. It’s about caring for your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It’s about listening to your body, respecting your feelings, and nurturing your mind.

When you’re not at peace with yourself, however, self-care often takes a back seat.

You might find yourself neglecting basic needs like nutrition, exercise or adequate rest. Or you might be ignoring your feelings, pushing through the pain, and not giving yourself permission to rest and heal.

According to psychology, neglecting self-care is a subtle sign of low self-esteem or self-worth. You might feel like you don’t deserve care or that your needs aren’t important.

But remember, you are important. Your needs matter. And taking care of yourself is not a luxury – it’s a necessity.

So if you’ve been neglecting your self-care, it’s time to pause and reassess. Start prioritizing your well-being again. Because when you feel good on the inside, it’s easier to find peace in the outside world.

7) Avoiding mirrors

There was a time when I would avoid looking at myself in the mirror.

It wasn’t about vanity or appearance, but more about not wanting to face myself. It felt like the person staring back at me was a stranger, far removed from the person I wanted to be.

In psychology, this avoidance is understood as a reflection of our internal state. When we’re not at peace with ourselves, we might avoid mirrors because they force us to confront our true selves.

Mirrors don’t just reflect our physical appearance, they also bring to light our perceived flaws and insecurities. In avoiding them, we’re avoiding an essential step towards self-acceptance and inner peace.

So, if you find yourself turning away from your reflection, it might be a signal to stop and take a closer look. Remember, the journey to self-peace often begins with self-acceptance.

8) Struggling to focus

In today’s fast-paced world, distractions are everywhere. But if you’re finding it particularly hard to focus, even on things you usually enjoy or tasks that require your attention, it could be a sign that you’re not at peace with yourself.

Psychology suggests that our ability to focus is directly linked to our emotional state. Inner turmoil or unresolved issues can scatter our thoughts, making it harder for us to concentrate.

When you’re at peace with yourself, your mind isn’t cluttered with worries or regrets. You’re able to engage fully in the present moment, bringing your full attention to whatever is at hand.

So if you’re constantly struggling with your focus, take it as a signal. It might be time to explore what’s causing your inner unrest and address it head-on. After all, inner peace isn’t just about feeling calm – it’s about finding clarity too.

9) You’re hard on yourself

Are you your own worst critic? Do you find yourself constantly putting your abilities down or focusing on your mistakes rather than your achievements?

This harsh self-criticism is often a sign that you’re not at peace with yourself.

This constant self-judgment stems from a lack of self-love and acceptance. It’s an indication that you’re holding yourself to unrealistic standards, constantly striving for perfection and beating yourself up when you fall short.

When you’re at peace with yourself, you recognize that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s part of being human. You learn to treat yourself with kindness and compassion, acknowledging your strengths and forgiving your shortcomings.

So if you’re often hard on yourself, it’s time for a change.

Start by cultivating self-compassion and recognize that you’re enough just as you are. Because ultimately, being at peace with yourself means being kind to yourself.

Final thought: Start with acceptance

The journey towards inner peace can be complex and deeply personal. It intertwines with our emotions, experiences, and our unique perception of the world around us.

One universal truth that psychology highlights is the importance of self-acceptance in this journey.

So, as you reflect on these signs and what they might mean for you, remember that change starts from within. Acceptance isn’t about settling or giving up; it’s about acknowledging reality and opening the door to growth.

In this journey towards inner peace, every step forward begins with acceptance. It’s not an easy path, but it’s certainly one worth walking.