7 subtle signs someone doesn’t really like you, according to behavioral science

Avatar by Justin Brown | November 30, 2024, 12:38 pm

It can be tricky to recognize when someone doesn’t truly like you, especially when the signs aren’t obvious.

However, behavioral science reveals specific, subtle indicators that might suggest their true feelings. In this article, we’ll dive into seven nuanced signs that someone might not really like you.

These signs go beyond the obvious and help you pick up on the underlying tension or discomfort that they may not openly express.

By understanding these subtle cues, you can better navigate social situations and protect your emotional well-being.

1) Limited eye contact

Eye contact is one of the most profound non-verbal cues in human communication. It’s an unspoken language that reflects our sincerity, attention, and comfort level in an interaction.

Behavioral scientists suggest that when someone likes you, they tend to maintain eye contact during conversations. This action shows their genuine interest in what you have to say and their comfort in your presence.

However, if someone doesn’t really like you, they might avoid making eye contact.

This could be because they feel uncomfortable around you, or they’re trying to limit their engagement in the conversation.

Avoiding eye contact can also be a sign of shyness or discomfort rather than dislike. Context and other behavioral cues should be considered before jumping to conclusions.

2) Closed body language

I’ve always been intrigued by silent language, and my interest has led me to dive deep into the realm of behavioral science.

One sign that someone may not really like you is their body language. When people are comfortable and open to others, their posture tends to be relaxed and open.

They might lean in during conversations or keep their arms uncrossed.

Conversely, if someone consistently displays closed body language around you—crossed arms, turning away, or maintaining a certain physical distance—it could indicate discomfort or lack of interest.

I remember noticing this once at a social event. A person I was trying to engage with kept their arms crossed and body turned slightly away. It felt like a barrier was being put up.

3) Short, non-committal responses

As my journey into understanding human behavior continued, I began to notice more subtle signs of discomfort or disinterest in conversations. One of these is the use of short, non-committal responses.

When someone genuinely likes you and enjoys your company, they will typically engage in the conversation with enthusiasm.

They’ll offer thoughtful responses, ask follow-up questions, and show a genuine interest in learning more about you and your perspectives.

In contrast, someone who doesn’t really like you might respond with vague, terse answers.

“Uh-huh”, “okay”, “maybe” – these non-committal responses can be a subtle sign that they’re not fully engaged or interested in the conversation.

Just like the social event I mentioned earlier, I recall another instance where

I was trying to converse with someone who consistently responded with short, unenthusiastic answers.

It felt like I was trying to climb a wall with no footholds – every attempt to engage was met with indifference.

These experiences have taught me the value of observing and understanding these subtle cues.

Not for judgment, but for fostering empathy and improving communication. It’s about acknowledging that every interaction we have is an opportunity for growth and deeper understanding.

4) They agree with everything you say

In my journey of understanding human behavior and fostering authentic relationships, I’ve learned that disagreement is not necessarily a bad thing.

In fact, it’s often a sign of respect and genuine interest.

When someone likes you, they feel comfortable enough to express their opinions, even if they differ from yours.

They engage in deep conversations, challenge your ideas, and provide fresh perspectives. This is a sign of a healthy, authentic relationship where both parties feel safe to express their true selves.

Surprisingly, if someone consistently agrees with everything you say without providing their own input, it could be a subtle sign that they don’t really like you.

It might mean they’re not interested enough to engage at a deeper level or they’re avoiding potential conflict.

I’ve encountered such situations where people would simply nod and agree, without adding their own thoughts or challenging anything I said.

Initially, it seemed like agreement but upon reflection, it felt more like disinterest or avoidance.

5) They frequently interrupt you

Communication is a two-way street, and mutual respect is its cornerstone.

One of the subtle signs that someone may not really like you is frequent interruption during conversations.

When someone values your presence and respects your opinions, they will listen to you attentively and allow you to express your thoughts without interruption.

If someone frequently interrupts or talks over you, it could indicate a lack of respect or interest in your perspectives.

I’ve experienced this in my interactions, where individuals would cut me off mid-sentence, making it clear that they did not really value my input.

It made me realize the importance of respectful listening in maintaining authentic relationships.

If you’re interested in diving deeper into understanding human behavior and improving your relationships, I recommend checking out the “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass with Rudá Iandê.

This session offers powerful insights on fostering emotional independence and building fulfilling connections. You can find it here.

6) Their laughter doesn’t reach their eyes

Laughter is a universal language of joy and connection. But did you know it can also be a subtle sign of someone’s feelings towards you?

Genuine laughter, the kind that lights up a person’s entire face, is a clear indication of enjoyment and comfort.

When someone really likes you, their laughter around you will be authentic and their eyes will mirror their amusement.

However, if someone doesn’t really like you, their laughter may seem forced or hollow. Their mouth may smile, but their eyes might remain cold or indifferent. This is known as Duchenne laughter, named after the scientist who first differentiated between genuine and fake smiles.

I remember once sharing a joke with an acquaintance whose laugh seemed forced and whose eyes remained vacant. It was a subtle indication that our connection was not as strong as I perceived.

7) They rarely initiate contact

Initiation of contact is a simple yet powerful sign of interest and liking.

When someone enjoys your company, they will often reach out to you, whether it’s for a casual chat or to plan a get-together.

However, if you notice that you’re always the one initiating contact and they rarely, if ever, reach out first, it could be a subtle sign that they don’t really like you.

It might indicate a lack of interest or investment in the relationship.

I’ve experienced this in my own life where I found myself always being the one to initiate conversations or plan meetings with certain individuals. It made me question the balance and authenticity of these relationships.

Understanding the nuances of human behavior

By being aware of these subtle signs that someone may not really like you, we can better understand the dynamics of our interactions.

This knowledge is not a tool for judgment, but a guide to foster more meaningful and authentic relationships.

If you’re interested in deepening your understanding of human behavior and communication, I recommend revisiting the “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass with Rudá Iandê.

You will find insightful techniques to foster emotional independence and build fulfilling connections. You can access it here.