Ah, I see. You’d like to read something nice about yourself, wouldn’t you?

I don’t blame you. I, too, like reading up on all the ways in which my character shines. Who doesn’t love compliments, after all?

Let’s get right to it.

Without further ado, here are the 7 subtle signs people genuinely find you pleasant to be around.

1) They seek out your presence

Let’s get the ball rolling with the first sign, one that may be obvious but bears mentioning nonetheless.

If you make for excellent company, people will naturally seek you out.

They will reach out when you haven’t spoken in some while; they’ll look for you at parties or networking events; they’ll want to spend time with you not because it’s a requirement or a strategy to get what they want but simply because they like you.

As psychologist Leslie Becker-Phelps Ph.D. explains, genuine connection is of incredible value when it comes to friendships. “People are biologically wired to connect to help them feel safe, allowing them to feel a sense of well-being. The more you practice connecting, the more accessible the benefits of it will be,” she writes.

If you’re pleasant to be around, people will want to be your friends because you make them feel good and because they want to explore the connection you could potentially nurture together, from romance to friendships or business relationships.

2) Your conversations tend to go deep

Do you know how you can recognize whether someone’s difficult to connect with?

Look at how deep and long their conversations with others get. If they always only graze the surface, it means they either don’t know how to go further or that they aren’t exactly pleasant to be around, which is why most people keep things polite and detached in their presence.

You, on the other hand…

You’re something else entirely, right? You love getting to know like-minded people, discussing a variety of different subjects, and digging deep. You’re one of those rare people who are genuinely curious about what others think and feel. And you make it known.

As a result, everyone who gets to have a conversation with you feels seen, interesting, and understood.

Perhaps the most important word here is “interesting”.

According to the reciprocity of liking effect, we are more likely to like those who obviously like us back. If you make someone feel like they are the most fascinating person in the world, they might feel the same way about you, too.

3) You have high-quality long-term friendships

Did you know that one of the defining traits of narcissism is a lack of long-term friendships?

This is because a narcissist’s lack of empathy makes it very difficult for them to form genuine connections that can stand the test of time.

One way or another, a person’s true character comes out – and when it turns out to be manipulative, cold, or self-serving, there’s a high chance their friendships will crumble.

Usually, only those who can be honest, emotionally mature, kind-hearted, and trustworthy end up having life-long friendships that have survived one obstacle after another only to emerge stronger on the other side.

The most important trait anyone could have to qualify as a great friend is, of course, kindness.

Suzie Pileggi Pawelski, MAPP, and James Pawelski, PhD, write for Psychology Today, “True kindness is the bedrock of healthy relationships that are key to our well-being. When we are asked to describe our close friendships, we most likely use the word ‘kind.’”

4) People confide in you about their troubles

One of my friends always says she’s like a well for other people’s feelings.

The moment they spend a few hours with her, they begin to confide in her about their deepest struggles, darkest secrets, and biggest worries.

She’s glad to see them open up and she’s happy to help them, of course, but it does boggle her mind. “Why is it always me?” she asked me once. “I don’t understand.”

I do, though.

Remember how we spoke about the importance of kindness when it comes to forging strong connections with others?

Well, let’s just say my friend is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. And everyone can see it.

That’s why they gravitate toward her; that’s why they feel so safe in her presence that they end up telling her things they’ve kept private from their family or friends.

If someone finds you pleasant to be around, it means they feel safe enough to relax, be their authentic selves, and open up to you.

5) You rarely get into arguments

…this isn’t to say you don’t encounter any conflicts, though.

See, there’s a difference between a conflict and an argument.

A conflict can be a good thing. As Eugene Beresin M.D., M.A., says, “Relationships become stronger, more enduring, and closer through conflict resolution.”

But that is precisely because conflict resolution is a skill that helps you prevent an argument from taking place.

And if you’re pleasant to be around, there’s a high chance you:

• Always try to find a compromise that suits all parties
• Don’t pick petty fights just because
• Can effectively communicate your wishes and needs
• Can establish and respect your boundaries (as well as those of others)

Embrace conflict as something that can help you get to know the other person better rather than something that is automatically disastrous.

The result?

People aren’t afraid to be themselves around you, bring up any issues that may arise in the relationship, and speak their mind.

6) People give you compliments on your character

If people give you compliments, believe them.

I say this because plenty of my friends struggle to accept compliments due to their low self-esteem.

When someone tells them how lovely they are, they tend to either pay it no heed, bring themselves down, or secretly think the person in question is lying.

But hear me out for a second.

If people didn’t like you, they wouldn’t bother complimenting you. They’d just stay quiet (or give you a back-handed compliment, which is something different entirely).

Most compliments come from a good place. More importantly, they are of an honest nature.

If someone tells you you’re wonderful, there’s no reason why they’d be lying.

Believe them.

7) You rarely worry about being the odd one out

Finally, if you’re pleasant to be around, you’re probably not used to being the fifth wheel.

And that’s because people – people who are kind and emotionally mature, at least – will always try to include you.

And if they don’t?

Well, then you’re probably hanging with the wrong crowd.

There is a friendship group for everyone out there. Sometimes, it just takes a little while before you find it.