I used to think being a parent was all about actions—holding hands at the crosswalk, making sure the veggies were eaten, patching up scraped knees.

But the longer I’ve been on this ride, the more I realize that it’s often the smallest, simplest words that leave the biggest marks.

The truth is, kids hang on to the things we say more than we realize.

One little phrase can either make them feel like superheroes or like they’re shrinking under the weight of the world.

I’ve had my own moments where I’ve thought, Did that slip of the tongue just plant a seed of self-doubt?

So now, I choose my words like they’re gold.

Because sometimes, the right sentence at the right time can be the difference between a confident kid and one who’s quietly crumbling.

1) “I believe in you”

Parenting is a balancing act, and one of the key areas where this is evident is in the discipline of fostering your child’s self-confidence.

Psychologists point out that children, like adults, need validation and encouragement.

A phrase as simple as “I believe in you” can work wonders in boosting their self-esteem.

This affirmation tells your child that you have faith in their abilities, it reassures them that they have your unwavering support. It’s the sort of phrase that helps them to believe in themselves and their potential.

However, remember that it’s not enough to just say the words; it’s equally important to show it through your actions.

Be there for them when they make mistakes and help them learn from it, rather than criticizing or belittling their efforts.

2) “It’s okay to make mistakes”

As a parent, I’ve learned that children are often their own harshest critics.

They fear making mistakes and the embarrassment that comes with it. That’s where the phrase “It’s okay to make mistakes” comes into play.

I remember when my own daughter was learning to ride her bike. She was so terrified of falling off that she didn’t want to try at all.

I sat her down and told her, “Honey, it’s okay to make mistakes. That’s how we learn. Even mommy and daddy make mistakes sometimes.”

This simple phrase reassured her that mistakes weren’t something to be afraid of, but rather opportunities to learn and grow.

From then on, she wasn’t as scared of falling off her bike anymore and eventually, she mastered riding without training wheels.

By using this phrase, you’re teaching your child that it’s alright to fail sometimes and that it doesn’t reflect on their worth or competence.

It nurtures resilience and encourages them to take healthy risks.

3) “You can do hard things”

Challenging situations are a part of life and learning to face them is an essential part of building self-confidence.

One phrase that helps instill this resilience in children is “You can do hard things”.

When you tell your child they can do hard things, you’re creating a mindset of capability and resilience.

It’s a phrase that fosters a growth mindset, a concept developed by psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck.

According to Dweck’s research, individuals with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.

They embrace challenges, persist in the face of setbacks, and see effort as the pathway to mastery.

By using this phrase, you’re not only encouraging your child to tackle challenges head-on but also fostering a growth mindset that will serve them well throughout their life.

4) “I’m proud of you”

There’s something incredibly powerful about hearing the words “I’m proud of you”.

This phrase is a clear and direct way to show your child that you recognize their efforts and achievements.

Whether they’ve aced a test, finished a difficult task, or shown kindness to others, acknowledging their actions with this phrase can significantly boost their self-confidence.

However, it’s important to focus on the effort they’ve put in, rather than just the outcome. This shows them that the journey and the hard work that they put in is as important as winning or losing.

So next time your child does something noteworthy, don’t forget to tell them how proud they’ve made you.

These words can serve as a strong foundation for their developing self-confidence.

5) “Your feelings are valid”

According to psychology, acknowledging your child’s emotions plays a crucial role in building their self-confidence.

When you tell your child that “Your feelings are valid”, you’re creating a safe space for them to express themselves without fear of being dismissed or invalidated.

It may seem minor, but it’s essential to remember that children often struggle to understand and articulate their feelings.

When you validate their emotions, you’re showing them that it’s okay to feel the way they do.

This not only helps them understand and manage their feelings better, but also boosts their emotional intelligence, which in turn can greatly enhance their self-confidence.

6) “I love you, no matter what”

There are few phrases as heartfelt and as powerful as “I love you, no matter what”.

This statement of unconditional love can be the bedrock of a child’s self-confidence.

In a world that often judges us based on our achievements and appearances, it’s essential for a child to know that they are loved unconditionally.

That their worth isn’t tied to their successes or failures, but rather they are loved simply for being who they are.

Growing up, I always felt secure in my parents’ love.

No matter what happened – whether I aced a test or failed it, whether I behaved perfectly or made mistakes – I knew that their love for me was unwavering.

In the same way, telling your child “I love you, no matter what”, ensures they know your love isn’t conditional.

7) “It’s okay to ask for help”

Growing up, I was always the type who wanted to do everything myself.

I saw asking for help as a sign of weakness. It wasn’t until I became a parent that I realized how wrong I was.

The phrase “It’s okay to ask for help” is essential in building your child’s self-confidence.

It teaches them that acknowledging they don’t know something or can’t do something alone isn’t a weakness, but rather a strength.

When we let our children know that it’s okay to ask for help, we teach them to value teamwork and collaboration.

8) “I don’t know, let’s find out together”

As parents, we often feel the pressure to have all the answers for our children.

But there’s a lot of value in admitting when we don’t know something and saying “I don’t know, let’s find out together”.

This phrase accomplishes two things.

First, it shows your child that it’s okay not to know everything. This takes off the pressure they might feel to always have the answers and can boost their self-confidence.

Second, it encourages curiosity and a love for learning. When you propose finding out the answer together, you’re turning an unknown into an opportunity to learn something new.

So next time your child asks a question you don’t know the answer to, see it as a chance to learn together. It might just be a confidence-boosting lesson in disguise.

9) “I appreciate your effort”

In a world that often values results over efforts, it’s crucial to remind your child that the journey is just as important as the destination.

The phrase “I appreciate your effort” does exactly that. It shows your child that you value their hard work and dedication, regardless of the outcome.

This can be incredibly empowering and is a sure-fire way to boost their self-confidence.

The next time your child puts in a lot of effort into something, be it a school project or learning a new skill, make sure to acknowledge and appreciate it.

It’ll go a long way in building their self-confidence.

10) “You are enough”

In today’s world, children are bombarded with messages telling them they need to be more, do more, or have more.

That’s why the phrase “You are enough” is so crucial.

When you tell your child they are enough, just as they are, you’re instilling in them a sense of self-worth that isn’t tied to external achievements or possessions.

This phrase can serve as a powerful antidote to the pressures of comparison and perfectionism that children often face.

Final thoughts

I’ve realized that parenting means planting the right seeds through the words we choose.

Those phrases shape the inner voice our kids will carry into adulthood.

A simple “I believe in you” can feel like a safety net, and “You are enough” can drown out the world’s constant noise.

We can’t control everything they’ll face, but we can influence how they see themselves.

Our words build the foundation they’ll stand on when things get shaky.

So, when I think of the messages I want my child to hold onto, I hope they make them feel strong, capable, and loved.

Those voices help them stand tall, no matter what life throws their way.