Ever had one of those conversations where you’re sharing something personal, and suddenly, out of nowhere, the spotlight shifts—right back onto the other person?

You know the feeling: you’re talking about your day, your struggles, your victories, and before you can even finish your sentence, they’ve somehow made it all about them.

It’s like a conversation magic trick, and you didn’t even see it coming.

Welcome to the world of narcissists, who are masters at subtly steering the focus back to themselves, often without anyone noticing.

In this article, we’ll dive into 8 sneaky phrases they use to hijack the conversation and take the attention off of you—so you can spot it before it happens and reclaim your voice.

1) “That reminds me of the time when I…”

This is a classic phrase narcissists use to bring the focus back to them.

In the middle of a conversation about your accomplishments or experiences, they’ll interject with, “That reminds me of the time when I…”.

Suddenly, your story gets sidelined and the spotlight is back on them. It’s a subtle form of manipulation that can make you feel unheard or unimportant.

This isn’t just about them being self-centered. Narcissism is a psychological condition and this behavior stems from their need for constant validation and attention.

In these situations, it’s crucial to remember that your experiences and stories are valid. Don’t let this phrase undermine your confidence or make you feel like you’re in the shadow. 

2) “I’m not one to brag, but…”

While this phrase begins with a seemingly humble disclaimer, it often leads to the exact opposite – a story or anecdote that highlights their accomplishments.

It’s a clever tactic that allows narcissists to showcase their achievements while maintaining a veneer of modesty.

Surprisingly, this phrase can make their self-promotion feel less intrusive or boastful. You might even find yourself admiring their ability to share their successes so casually.

However, over time, you might notice this phrase cropping up more often than not, subtly steering the conversation back to them.

It’s a reminder that while they might downplay it, the need for validation and attention remains strong in their communication.

3) “Enough about me, let’s talk about you”

This phrase sounds like a redirection towards your interests, but it’s often an indirect way to steer the conversation back to the narcissist.

They may ask about your opinions or experiences, only to use them as a springboard to talk about their own.

For instance, when you share your experience about your latest vacation, they might say, “Oh, that’s interesting. When I went there, I…”. Before you know it, the conversation is back to them and their experiences.

This stems from narcissists’ tendency to perceive themselves as the center of attention. Even when they appear to show interest in others, it’s often with the intention of bringing the spotlight back onto themselves.

4) “You wouldn’t understand, it’s quite complex”

This phrase might sound like a protective measure to shield you from complications, but it’s often a subtle way of maintaining a sense of superiority.

It implies that the topic is beyond your comprehension, thus putting them in an authoritative position.

But remember, everyone has unique skills and knowledge. Just because they deem something complex doesn’t mean you are incapable of understanding it.

You have your own strengths and areas of expertise that are equally valuable.

It’s important not to let these comments dent your self-esteem.

Your worth is not determined by someone else’s measure of complexity or understanding. Your thoughts and opinions matter and are worthy of being heard.

5) “I’m just playing devil’s advocate here…”

This phrase is a common one in many conversations, not just with narcissists. It allows them to present different viewpoints, often contrary to yours, under the guise of stimulating a balanced discussion.

However, it can subtly shift the focus back to them and their perspectives. It can also make you second-guess your own opinions or make you feel like you have to defend your stand.

Keep in mind, everyone has a right to their viewpoint. You don’t need to justify your perspectives just because someone is playing ‘devil’s advocate’.

Your thoughts and feelings are valid, and it’s okay to stand by them.

6) “Did I ever tell you about the time when…”

Imagine you’re sharing your weekend hiking experience with a narcissist.

Just as you’re describing the stunning sunset view from the peak, they interject with, “Did I ever tell you about the time when I hiked Everest Base Camp?”

Suddenly, your modest weekend adventure is eclipsed by their grand tale.

It’s a classic switch and redirect tactic. They subtly grab the attention and shift it to their grand accomplishment, leaving your story hanging in the air.

Recognizing this pattern can help you maintain control of the conversation and ensure that your experiences and stories get the attention they deserve.

7) “Not to belittle your achievement, but…”

This phrase has a way of deflating your sense of accomplishment, no matter how kindly it’s put.

It suggests that whatever you’re proud of pales in comparison to what they have done or achieved.

Don’t let this undermine your victories. Your achievements are not diminished by someone else’s accomplishments. 

Stand firm in your success and don’t let anyone’s words take away from the pride you should feel in your accomplishments. You’ve earned every bit of it.

8) “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…”

This phrase often precedes an interruption that diverts the conversation back to the narcissist.

It’s a subtle way of grabbing the reins of the conversation, camouflaged as an innocent interjection.

The most important thing to remember here is that your stories, experiences, and viewpoints are just as valuable and deserve to be heard. 

If you feel like you’re constantly being interrupted or overshadowed, it’s okay to kindly point it out and steer the conversation back to a balanced dialogue.

Conclusion

Recognizing these subtle tactics is the first step in taking back control of your conversations and protecting your emotional space.

Narcissists are skilled at shifting the focus to themselves, but by being aware of the phrases they use, you can stay grounded and keep the spotlight where it belongs—on you.

Use this knowledge not just to navigate conversations with narcissists, but to reinforce your own sense of self. Hold your ground, remain confident, and continue sharing your unique insights with the world.