I once dated someone who always had the perfect comeback—sharp, subtle, and oddly convincing.

At first, I thought it was just her wit, but over time, those words started to cut deeper.

Phrases like, “You’re too sensitive” or “No one else would put up with you” lingered long after our conversations ended, making me question my own reality.

It wasn’t until much later that I realized those words weren’t harmless.

They were tools—tactics designed to keep me off balance and uncertain.

It’s a hallmark of narcissistic relationships, where subtle manipulation becomes an everyday occurrence.

In this article, we’ll unpack nine common phrases narcissistic women use to maintain control in relationships.

1) “You’re too sensitive”

In relationships, there’s no denying the importance of open communication and sensitivity.

But when dealing with a narcissistic woman, this sensitivity can become a weapon.

Psychologists highlight this as a common phrase used by narcissists.

When you express hurt or disappointment, they may accuse you of being overly sensitive, effectively turning the problem back onto you.

This tactic is known as gaslighting. It’s a manipulative strategy where the narcissist tries to make you doubt your own feelings and perceptions.

By telling you that you’re too sensitive, they’re invalidating your feelings and making it seem like the issue is with your reaction, not their behavior..

2) “I never said that”

The second phrase that psychologists often point out is a favorite of the narcissistic woman: “I never said that.”

I remember it clearly, in a previous relationship of mine.

I’d bring up something my partner had said that had upset me, only for her to look at me with wide, innocent eyes and utter those four words.

It was as if she was trying to rewrite our shared history.

This tactic is another form of gaslighting.

It’s designed to make you doubt your own memory and perception of events.

Suddenly, you’re the one questioning your sanity, wondering if you really did misremember the conversation.

Learning to trust your own memory, no matter how much she tries to distort it, is key in dealing with this manipulative phrase.

3) “You’re just jealous”

“Jealousy” is a word often thrown around by narcissistic women in relationships.

Whenever you express concern about their excessive attention towards others or question their interactions, they may deflect with “You’re just jealous.”

This phrase is designed to shift the blame onto you and divert the conversation away from their behaviour.

It’s a classic deflection technique, meant to make you feel guilty for questioning them.

One psychological study found that narcissists are highly skilled at provoking jealousy in their partners, often as a means to gain power and control.

So the next time she accuses you of jealousy, remember it could be a calculated move rather than a genuine reaction to your concerns.

4) “You always…”

“Always” is a strong word, but narcissistic women aren’t shy about using it as a weapon.

“You always forget things,” or “You’re always overreacting,” are common examples.

This phrase tends to come out when they’re on the defensive.

By saying “you always,” they’re generalizing your behavior, which can make you feel guilty or wrong.

It’s an attempt to control the narrative of your relationship and paint you as the constant problem, rather than addressing their own actions.

Everyone makes mistakes, but no one ‘always’ does something.

It’s important to recognize this phrase for what it is – an exaggeration designed to shift blame.

5) “I’m the only one who really understands you”

The phrase “I’m the only one who really understands you” is another common tactic used by narcissistic women.

On the surface, it might seem like a comforting sentiment, but underneath, it’s a way to isolate you from your support network.

By convincing you that no one else truly understands or appreciates you like they do, they’re creating a sense of dependency.

This can make it harder for you to reach out to others, or even consider leaving the relationship, because of the fear that no one else will ‘get’ you.

Know that this is a form of emotional manipulation meant to keep you tied to them.

In a healthy relationship, your partner should encourage your connections with others, not undermine them.

6) “If you loved me, you would…”

One of the most heartbreaking phrases that a narcissistic woman might use is “If you loved me, you would…”.

Whether it’s to get you to agree to something or to make you feel guilty for not meeting their demands, this phrase is a manipulative tool.

It plays on your emotions and deep affection for them, which can make it incredibly hard to say no or stand up for yourself.

But true love doesn’t ask you to meet unreasonable demands or keep constantly sacrificing your own needs.

True love is understanding, supportive, and doesn’t use guilt as a weapon.

7) “No one else would put up with you”

The phrase “No one else would put up with you” has a cutting edge, one that I’ve felt personally in a past relationship.

It’s an attempt to make you feel unworthy and grateful that they’re even with you.

When my ex-partner used this phrase, it made me feel unlovable and difficult.

I started to believe that I was the lucky one for being tolerated, despite the constant hurt and manipulation.

This is a tactic to undermine your self-esteem, making it harder for you to consider leaving, as you start to believe no one else would want you.

8) “You owe me”

“You owe me” is another phrase often used by narcissistic women.

They may bring up past favors or good deeds they’ve done for you as a way to guilt you into doing what they want.

This phrase is an attempt to create a sense of obligation.

It’s as if they’re keeping score, and because they did something for you in the past, you now owe them in return.

But people in healthy relationships don’t keep tabs.

If you feel constantly indebted, it might be a sign of manipulation.

You don’t ‘owe’ anyone for the basic acts of kindness and love that come with a relationship.

9) “If you leave me, you’ll regret it”

The final phrase, “If you leave me, you’ll regret it,” is perhaps one of the most dangerous.

It’s a threat, a prediction, and a manipulation tactic all rolled into one.

This phrase is designed to instill fear and doubt.

They want you to believe that leaving them would be the biggest mistake of your life, that you’ll never find anyone like them again.

But the truth is, leaving a toxic and manipulative relationship is not a mistake. It’s an act of self-love and courage.

You deserve happiness, respect, and a love that doesn’t come with threats or fear.

Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Final thoughts

When I think back to that relationship, I wish I had known then what I know now.

Those phrases weren’t just words—they were carefully calculated moves to keep me questioning myself.

But here’s what I’ve learned: once you recognize manipulation for what it is, it starts to lose its power.

Healthy relationships don’t leave you feeling small or unsure of your worth.

They build you up, make space for your voice, and respect your boundaries.

If the phrases we’ve talked about here feel all too familiar, it might be time to reflect on what you’re truly getting from the relationship.

You deserve a love that feels safe, kind, and steady—one that doesn’t twist your words or use guilt as a weapon.

So trust your instincts, value your truth, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. You’re worth it.