Sometimes, parenting can feel like trying to assemble a piece of furniture without the instructions.

You think you’re doing it right, and then suddenly you realize you’ve put the legs where the arms should go.

In my early days as a parent, I made more missteps than I can count, often without even realizing it at the time.

It’s only when you pause to reflect—or when your child repeats one of your less-than-stellar habits—that you start to see the subtle mistakes.

So let’s talk about nine common yet often unnoticed mistakes that many young parents make.

Spotting them early can make all the difference—not in striving for perfection, but in fostering a loving, balanced environment for our kids.

1) Overpraising

As a young parent, it’s natural to want to shower your child with praises.

You’re proud of their achievements, big or small, and want to show your admiration and support.

It feels good to say “good job” or “you’re so smart”.

But, as counterintuitive as it may seem, overpraising can create a certain pressure on your child.

According to psychologists, children can become reliant on external validation if they’re praised too much or too often.

This could lead them to avoid taking risks or trying new things out of fear of not receiving the same level of praise.

It’s important to encourage your child, but focusing on effort rather than outcome fosters resilience and a growth mindset.

So rather than saying “You’re so smart”, try saying “You worked really hard on that”.

2) Giving in to tantrums

Ah, toddler tantrums. I’ve been there myself.

As a parent, it’s heart-wrenching to see your child upset.

I remember one day, my daughter had a complete meltdown in the middle of a grocery store because she wanted a toy that we didn’t plan on buying.

She was crying, kicking, screaming – the whole nine yards.

In that moment, it would have been so easy to just give in and buy the toy to calm her down.

But giving in to tantrums sends the wrong message to your child.

It teaches them that they can get what they want if they make enough fuss about it.

So, despite the embarrassment and the judgmental looks from other shoppers, I stuck to my guns.

I calmly explained why we weren’t buying the toy, acknowledged her feelings and then diverted her attention to something else.

It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. Because giving in might bring temporary peace but it potentially fuels future tantrums.

Consistency is key in teaching kids about boundaries and self-control.

3) Over-scheduling

In our fast-paced world, it’s tempting to fill our children’s schedules with various activities.

Piano lessons, soccer practice, art classes – the list goes on.

We want to give them every opportunity to learn and grow.

However, research shows that too much structured activity can limit a child’s ability to develop creativity and problem-solving skills.

These are skills that come from unstructured play, where children take the lead and let their imaginations run wild.

It’s important to strike a balance between structured activities and free play.

Giving your child the freedom to explore on their own can foster independence, creativity and a love for learning that extends beyond the classroom.

4) Avoiding tough conversations

As a parent, it’s natural to want to protect your child from the harsh realities of the world.

But avoiding tough conversations isn’t always the best approach.

It might seem easier to brush off their questions about topics like death or sickness with a simple “you’re too young to understand”.

However, this can leave kids feeling more confused and anxious.

Children are naturally curious, and if they’re asking about something, it means they’re ready to hear an age-appropriate response.

By engaging in these difficult discussions, you’re teaching your child that it’s okay to talk about tough things and that they can come to you with their questions.

5) Neglecting self-care

Parenting is a full-time job, and it’s easy to let your own needs fall by the wayside.

But neglecting your own self-care isn’t beneficial for you or your child.

When you’re constantly running on empty, you can’t give your best to your child.

You might find yourself more irritable, less patient, and overall, not the best version of yourself.

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish – it’s essential.

Whether it’s taking a few minutes to read a book, going for a run, or even just enjoying a hot cup of coffee in silence, these moments of self-care can make a big difference in your mental well-being.

By taking care of yourself, you’re not only setting a positive example for your child but also ensuring that you’re in the best possible place to take care of them.

Because at the end of the day, a happy parent equals a happy child.

6) Rushing childhood

In today’s competitive world, it’s easy to get caught up in the race.

We want our children to read before their peers, to excel in sports, to be a step ahead.

But in our hurry, we sometimes forget that childhood is not a race.

Childhood is a short, precious time that should be filled with free play, exploration and the simple joy of being a child.

Children should experience scraped knees and ice cream cones, chasing butterflies and building sandcastles.

As parents, we need to remember to slow down.

To let our kids be kids. Because once gone, their childhood can never be revisited.

So cherish these moments.

Let them grow at their own pace. Encourage them to explore the world around them without the pressure of achievement.

Because in the end, these early years will form the foundation of their lifelong learning, happiness and success.

7) Ignoring emotions

I remember a time when my son came home from school, visibly upset.

Instead of acknowledging his feelings, I brushed them off, saying, “Oh, don’t worry. It’s just a bad day.”

Looking back, I realize that was a mistake.

By dismissing his emotions, I was inadvertently teaching him that his feelings were invalid or unimportant.

Children experience a wide range of emotions, just like adults. And it’s crucial that we validate these feelings instead of dismissing them.

When we acknowledge their emotions – be it anger, sadness, or frustration – we teach them that it’s okay to feel these things.

It’s a part of being human.

And more importantly, we show them that we’re there for them, no matter what they’re going through.

So next time your child is upset, try saying something like, “I can see that you’re really upset.

Do you want to talk about it?” Trust me, it can make all the difference in the world.

8) Failing to set boundaries

Setting boundaries with your child may feel uncomfortable, especially when you see it leading to their disappointment or frustration.

But it’s an integral part of parenting.

Without clear boundaries, children may struggle to understand acceptable behavior, leading to difficulties in their relationships and interactions with others.

Setting boundaries helps children feel safe and secure.

It provides them with a clear understanding of what is expected and allows them to navigate the world around them more confidently.

Boundaries are not barriers – they are guideposts to healthy choices and behaviors.

9) Forgetting to be present

In this era of constant distractions, it’s easy to forget the importance of being truly present with our children.

We’re often physically there, but our minds are elsewhere – planning the next meal, scrolling through emails, or worrying about future problems.

But our kids notice. They can sense when we’re not fully engaged.

Being present means putting aside all distractions and focusing solely on your child.

Listen to them with intent, interact wholeheartedly, and show them that they are valued and important.

Your time and attention are the greatest gifts you can give your child. So let’s make every moment count.

Final thoughts

Parenthood, for all its sleepless nights and endless second-guessing, is an act of love.

Every decision, every stumble—it all comes from a place of wanting the best for your child.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that perfection isn’t the goal; connection is.

These nine mistakes aren’t signs of failure—they’re reminders of just how deeply we care.

T. Berry Brazelton once said, “Parents don’t make mistakes because they don’t care, but because they care so deeply.”

And isn’t that the beauty of it? The willingness to show up, learn, and try again.

So, when you catch yourself rushing through childhood or brushing off emotions, take a breath.

You’re not just shaping a little person; you’re learning and growing right alongside them.

And that effort? It’s more than enough.