Growing up with narcissistic parents can leave a mark you may not even realize – subtle habits you’ve unknowingly adopted.

The thing is, these habits aren’t just quirks, they’re coping mechanisms bred from years of adapting to a unique parenting style.

Narcissistic parents often focus on their needs, desires, and perceptions, which can result in their children developing certain behaviors to navigate this unique family dynamic.

Let’s unmask eight subtle habits you’ve likely picked up if you were raised by narcissistic parents. 

1) Over-apologizing

Children of narcissistic parents often find themselves constantly apologizing.

Why?

Because they’ve been conditioned to believe they’re always at fault.

Narcissists tend to blame others for their own failings.

They rarely take responsibility and often deflect any criticism directed towards them.

As a result, their children may grow up shouldering an unfair share of guilt.

For this reason, if you were raised by narcissistic parents, you might have developed the habit of over-apologizing.

It’s a reflex action, a mechanism to avoid conflict or further blame.

It’s a subtle habit, but recognizing it is an important step towards breaking free from this cycle and realizing that you’re not always at fault.

2) Pleasing others at your own expense

Growing up with narcissistic parents, there’s a tendency to become overly focused on pleasing others. I know this firsthand.

I spent my childhood always trying to meet my parents’ unrealistic expectations, often neglecting my own needs in the process.

Birthdays, school events, even my choice of university – everything was about what would make them happy or look good.

It took me a long time to realize that constantly prioritizing others over myself was a habit I’d picked up from those formative years.

Now, I’m learning that it’s okay to put myself first sometimes and that my needs and desires are just as important as anyone else’s.

Recognizing this habit is the start of setting healthier boundaries and taking better care of myself.

3) Difficulty accepting compliments

Compliments can be tricky terrain for those raised by narcissistic parents.

Often, these parents would dismiss or belittle their children’s achievements, making them feel unworthy of praise.

Being raised by narcissistic parents and having a negative self-perception.

This can manifest as difficulty accepting compliments, as they contradict the internalized belief of not being good enough.

Understanding this pattern can help you start to challenge these ingrained beliefs and accept the praise you deserve.

4) Overthinking and second-guessing

If you were raised by narcissistic parents, you might have developed the habit of constantly overthinking and second-guessing your decisions.

In a narcissistic household, making a “wrong” choice often leads to criticism or punishment.

Over time, this can lead to a fear of making decisions and a tendency to overanalyze every minor detail.

This habit can be exhausting, leaving you anxious and stressed.

But by recognizing it, you can start to trust your judgement more and give yourself the permission to make mistakes.

After all, it’s through our mistakes that we learn and grow.

5) Struggling to express emotions

Growing up in a narcissistic household can often feel like walking on eggshells.

You learn to keep your feelings to yourself, to avoid triggering a parent’s wrath or disapproval.

Over time, this can lead to a struggle with expressing emotions.

You might find it hard to open up, even to those closest to you.

You might feel like your emotions are too intense, too burdensome, or simply not valid.

But here’s the thing – your feelings are valid.

They’re a part of you, and you have every right to express them.

Recognizing this habit can be the first step toward allowing yourself the freedom to feel and express your emotions openly and honestly.

6) Seeking perfection

Perfection is a myth. In my younger years, I found myself constantly striving for perfection.

Every project, every task had to be flawless. There was no room for mistakes.

I thought this was just me being a hard-worker, but I’ve come to understand that this was a habit I’d developed from my upbringing.

Narcissistic parents often set impossibly high standards for their children. Their love and approval seem conditional on performance.

This can lead to a lifelong pursuit of perfection, which, in reality, is an unattainable goal.

Learning to accept that it’s okay not to be perfect has been a liberating journey for me. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to be human.

7) Constant self-doubt

Narcissistic parents often belittle or undermine their children’s abilities, leading to a sense of self-doubt that can persist into adulthood.

You may find yourself questioning your decisions, your abilities, and even your worth.

This constant self-doubt can hinder your personal and professional growth. But once recognized, you can start to challenge these negative beliefs.

Your worth is not defined by anyone else’s expectations or criticisms. You are capable and deserving of success.

8) Difficulty setting boundaries

Narcissistic parents often disrespect or disregard their children’s boundaries, leading to a struggle with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in adulthood.

You may find it hard to say ‘no’, even at the cost of your own well-being.

Setting boundaries is vital for self-care and healthy relationships.

It’s okay to prioritize your needs and to distance yourself from situations or people that drain you.

Learning to set boundaries is not only an act of self-respect, but also a crucial step towards healing from a narcissistic upbringing.

The journey towards self-awareness

Growing up with narcissistic parents can undeniably leave some lasting imprints, but acknowledging these subtle habits is the first step towards understanding and healing.

These habits were developed as coping mechanisms, tools you used to survive in a challenging environment.

They don’t define you, but rather reflect the circumstances you were raised in.

Renowned psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate”.