7 subtle behaviours that make people like you almost instantly

Clifton Kopp by Clifton Kopp | August 5, 2024, 5:49 pm

Remember, no man or woman is an island. 

To get ahead in this world, whether romantically, professionally, socially, and so on, we have to be able to get along with other people.  

It’s therefore in your interest to start developing your PR skills; doing so will ultimately make your life easier. 

So if you don’t consider yourself too likable or charming, consider it time to start changing things up. 

Don’t know where to start? I’m here to help. 

In this article, I’ll walk you through a few subtle behaviors you can incorporate to instantly become more likable. 

Once you get there, expect a whole new world to open up to you. Let’s get to it! 

1) Having a genuine smile 

When it comes to getting along with people, the little things truly do count. 

You’d be surprised how far a well-meaning, sincere smile can take you. 

A smile encapsulates so many positive emotions when used correctly. 

Firstly, a smile conveys warmth, naturally making others feel comfortable and welcome in your presence. 

And of course, the opposite is true: when you’re frowning and looking glum, people tend to be put off and intimidated by that disposition. 

So if you haven’t already, start genuinely smiling (not smirking or grinning.) 

You’ll notice a difference in how you get along with others almost immediately.  

2) Actively listening

You’d be surprised how rare true active listening is in this world. 

The majority of people want to just talk about themselves, often lacking the humility to truly appreciate what others have to say. 

So by active listening, you’re already standing out in a very good way. 

To show you’re truly engaged in the conversation, maintain eye contact, nod vigorously, and provide thoughtful feedback and inquisitive follow-up questions. 

Trust me, it’s not hard once you get the hang of it. 

I know people who can talk about themselves for hours at a time, like a one-act play, but as soon as you chime in, they’ll almost instinctively turn to Instagram, offering half-assed responses at best. 

This shouldn’t be. The best human interactions are all about give and take.

3) Having open body language

Once again, when it comes to getting along with others, it’s the little things that count. 

Case in point, your body language. 

After all, most experts can agree that the overwhelming majority of our in-person communication is through body language. 

Maintain an open posture, such as uncrossed arms and facing the person. 

Use touch tactfully. 

The latter will make you seem more approachable and friendly.

Mirroring is a big deal too.

Subtly mimicking the other person’s body language, tone of voice, and gestures will subconsciously create a sense of familiarity and rapport.

4) Giving sincere compliments 

When it comes to giving compliments, moderation and honesty are key facets. 

If you get into the habit of giving disingenuous compliments, for instance, people will eventually catch on and become turned off by it. 

Offer people sincere compliments about specific traits or actions, like their sense of style or intellect, or feedback on a particular project. 

The key is to mean it; sure you can exaggerate here and there, but ultimately, the best compliments always have a powerful element of truth to them. 

So start paying attention. 

Once you start noticing qualities and behaviors that most people overlook, you’ll make that person feel incredibly special and appreciated, which will naturally enhance their affection for you. 

5) Finding common ground 

When we meet new people, we tend to be on our guard, which is understandable. 

For many, it can take a certain amount of time and effort to break down those social barriers and make the other person feel at ease around us

To expedite this process, finding common ground is always a smart route to take… something that takes a degree of perceptiveness… the more niche interest, the less cliche, the better. 

I’m a bit of a foodie, so when I meet people from different walks of life, from different parts of the globe, more often than not, I can name a few dishes from their region. 

This instantly makes the other person laugh and smile, as they feel more comfortable in my presence. 

They appreciate that an outsider like me has some knowledge about their culture, which in turn creates positive feelings–and eventually, a sense of camaraderie.

6) Having a positive attitude

The world is a cynical enough place, I think we can all agree on that. 

Just open the comment section of any Instagram post.  

Even the most wholesome of photos or reels are rampant with strangers fighting for the most petty of reasons. 

As a general rule, when around new people who are still feeling you out, you should cultivate an upbeat, optimistic demeanor. 

It’s hardly rocket science: being negative isn’t generally appealing, but being positive is contagious and attractive. 

Once you start regularly cultivating “a glass-half-full attitude”, you’ll notice a major uptick in the quality of your interactions. Real talk. 

When I was younger, I used to think being pessimistic made me edgy and cool like my comedic heroes Larry David or George Carlin. 

Eventually, I began to pick up on the fact that people were distancing themselves from me. 

The latter is something I fully realized when I was dumped by a girlfriend for being “too negative.” 

Sure, you can get away with occasionally being negative when you’re a multimillionaire comedian/icon, but for regular folk like you and me? 

A positive attitude is the way to go… if you want to attract the right people.  

7) Showing empathy

Just because someone is nice to you doesn’t mean they’re a nice person. 

As humans, we instinctively want to surround ourselves with good energy; with people who make us feel good about ourselves, and about the world. 

We don’t want to be around people who have minimal empathy, since that mentality can bring us down… and perhaps even rub off on us. 

Life is not always easy, as you might have gathered by now. 

In a sense, we’re all in this struggle together… in an ideal world, our actions toward one another should reflect that. 

Understanding and having compassion for others’ feelings and experiences will bring you closer to them. 

Hence, having no empathy is a red flag no matter which way you put it.