Trust—it’s like a delicate glass sculpture: beautiful, complicated, and painfully easy to shatter.

I’ve come to realize that the little things we do, the words we don’t say, or even a glance that lingers too long can sometimes break that delicate trust we’ve worked so hard to build.

The tricky part? Most of us don’t even know when we’re guilty of it.

But, as psychology reminds us, it’s these subtle cues that can be the real trust-breakers.

So, let’s take a closer look at these little landmines we might be stepping on, often without even realizing it.

1) Overconfidence

Confidence is key, right? Not always, says psychology.

While it’s true that a certain level of confidence is essential, overdoing it can lead to others perceiving you as arrogant, and therefore untrustworthy.

When a person projects too much confidence, it can create a sense of disbelief among those around them.

The feeling that something just doesn’t add up.

It’s a thin line to tread. Confidence can attract people, but overconfidence can raise red flags.

It presents an image that may not seem genuine, and authenticity is crucial when it comes to trust.

So next time you feel the urge to show just how confident you are, take a step back.

Ask yourself if it seems genuine or if it might be perceived as overconfidence.

Trust is built on authenticity, not arrogance.

2) Inconsistency

Here’s something I’ve learned over the years: consistency is king when it comes to trust.

I remember a time when I had a friend who was always changing his plans.

At first, it seemed like he was just spontaneous, but over time, it became frustrating.

The lack of consistency in his behavior made it hard for me to trust him.

I never knew if he would follow through on his word.

Inconsistency is a major trust breaker. It gives the impression that you’re unreliable and unpredictable.

If people can’t count on you to follow through consistently, how can they trust you?

Being consistent in your words and actions is essential in maintaining the trust of those around you.

Remember my friend’s example, and strive for consistency in your own life.

It might not seem like a big deal, but it can make a huge difference in how others perceive you.

3) Lack of eye contact

If you’ve ever had a conversation with someone who wouldn’t meet your gaze, you know how unsettling it can be.

There’s something about direct eye contact that signals trust and honesty.

Psychologists agree that maintaining eye contact during a conversation increases the listener’s trust in the speaker.

Yet, it’s one of those things we often don’t think about.

When someone avoids eye contact, it can send subconscious signals that they’re hiding something.

This can lead to instant distrust, even if the person isn’t actually being dishonest.

The next time you’re in a conversation, remember to maintain good eye contact.

It’s a subtle way to build trust and show that you’re fully engaged in what the other person is saying.

4) Not listening

We’ve all been there, engaged in a conversation with someone who seems more interested in their phone than in what we’re saying.

It’s frustrating, right?

Not actively listening to someone is a surefire way to lose their trust.

It gives the impression that you don’t value their thoughts or opinions, which can lead to feelings of disrespect.

Active listening involves showing interest, responding appropriately, and demonstrating that you understand what the other person is saying.

When you fail to listen actively, it sends a message that you don’t care.

And if people feel you don’t care about them, they’re unlikely to trust you.

Good communication is a two-way street. Listening is just as important as speaking, if not more so.

5) Being too secretive

Privacy and secrecy are very different things.

While it’s perfectly fine to keep certain aspects of your life private, being overly secretive can lead others to distrust you.

For instance, if you’re always vague about your plans or avoid answering questions about your personal life, people might start to wonder what you’re hiding.

This can create an atmosphere of suspicion and doubt.

Transparency is vital when it comes to building trust.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to share every detail of your life with everyone you meet.

But being open and honest in your interactions can go a long way in establishing trust.

6) Not showing empathy

Here’s a hard truth: no one likes to feel alone, especially when they’re going through a tough time.

This is where empathy comes in.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

It means stepping into someone else’s shoes and viewing things through their eyes.

When you show empathy, it helps people feel heard and understood.

It creates a sense of connection, which is essential for building trust.

On the flip side, a lack of empathy can make people feel ignored and unimportant.

If they feel like you don’t care about their feelings or experiences, they’re unlikely to trust you.

7) Always being on the defensive

I used to have a tendency to get defensive whenever I received criticism.

Whether it was at work or in my personal life, I would immediately start justifying my actions, often without fully understanding the feedback.

It took me a while to realize that this defensive attitude was damaging my relationships and causing others to distrust me.

They felt like they couldn’t voice their concerns or opinions without triggering a defensive reaction.

Psychology tells us that being overly defensive can signal insecurity and a lack of openness.

It can make others feel like their viewpoints aren’t valued or respected, which is detrimental to trust.

Learning to accept criticism and feedback without getting defensive is important.

It shows that you’re open to different perspectives and willing to grow, both of which are crucial for building trust. It’s challenging, but worth it.

8) Making promises you can’t keep

We’ve all been let down by broken promises at some point. It’s a quick way to lose trust and damage relationships.

When you make a promise, you’re giving your word. You’re telling someone that they can rely on you.

But if you break that promise, it sends the message that your word isn’t reliable.

Even if breaking the promise wasn’t intentional, it can still cause others to question your dependability.

It’s better to be honest upfront if there’s a chance you might not be able to follow through.

Trust is built on reliability. So, if you make a promise, do everything in your power to keep it.

If circumstances change and you can’t follow through, communicate this honestly and as soon as possible.

Honesty, even when it’s hard, is always the best policy.

9) Lack of humility

The most important thing to remember is this: humility fosters trust.

No one is perfect, and pretending to be can actually push people away.

Acknowledging our mistakes and shortcomings shows others that we’re human, just like them.

When we display humility, we’re showing that we value others’ input and perspectives.

We’re open to learning and growing.

On the other hand, a lack of humility can make others feel inferior or dismissed, which erodes trust.

So, strive for humility in all your interactions.

It’s a powerful way to build genuine, lasting trust with others. Trust me on this one.

Final thoughts

Trust isn’t some grand declaration; it’s a slow, quiet journey that sneaks up on you through a thousand small moments.

The way you hold someone’s gaze when they’re talking, the promises you keep—or don’t, and that little pinch of humility in admitting when you’re wrong.

And sure, we all slip now and then, but each of these little gestures either moves us closer to, or further away from, genuine connection.

So maybe it’s worth taking a moment to reflect on the way we show up for others, the unspoken signals we send.

Because in a world where trust feels so fragile, just a little extra awareness can go a long way.