8 subtle behaviors that signal someone has a dark personality, according to psychology

Tara Whitmore by Tara Whitmore | December 8, 2024, 8:59 am

If you’ve ever interacted with someone possessing a so-called ‘dark personality’, you might understand how unsettling it can be.

A dark personality, as defined in psychology, often involves certain subtle behaviors that may slip under the radar at first but can leave you feeling uneasy or manipulated later on.

It’s not always easy to spot these behaviors, and it’s even harder when you don’t know what to look for.

In this article, we’ll explore “8 subtle behaviors that signal someone has a dark personality”, providing you with a better understanding of this complex and intriguing area of psychology.

1) They often use gaslighting as a manipulation tactic

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that dark personalities might use to gain control over others.

It involves making you doubt your own perceptions and memories, skewing reality in their favor.

For instance, they might deny a harmful comment they made earlier, insisting you must have misunderstood or remembered it incorrectly.

They might say something like, “I never said that. You’re being overly sensitive.”

This behavior not only leaves you questioning your own sanity but also makes you more dependent on them for ‘correct’ interpretations of events.

It’s a subtle yet powerful way of establishing dominance and control.

The more you interact with such personalities, the more you might find yourself questioning your own judgment.

You might start feeling like you’re the problem when in reality, they’re using gaslighting as a tool to manipulate and control you.

2) They’re charming and charismatic

One might assume that a dark personality would be off-putting or intimidating.

But the reality can be quite the opposite. Individuals with dark personality traits can often be incredibly charming and charismatic.

They know how to make themselves appealing and are skilled at winning people over.

They can be great conversationalists, making you feel special and heard.

You might find yourself drawn to their confidence and charm, making it hard to see any potential negative traits.

This charisma, however, serves a purpose. It’s a mask they use to draw people in, making it easier to manipulate and control them.

As their charm reels you in, it becomes harder to notice the subtle behaviors that signal their dark personality traits. 

3) They lack empathy towards others

People with dark personalities often exhibit a distinct lack of empathy.

They struggle to understand or share the feelings of others. This isn’t just about being unkind or insensitive – it goes deeper than that.

Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, to feel their joy, pain, and everything in between.

It helps us connect with each other on a profound level.

But for those with dark personality traits, this connection is often missing.

They may appear indifferent or dismissive towards the emotions of others, viewing them merely as tools to be used for their own gain.

Their relationships are often transactional rather than emotional, driven by what they can gain rather than genuine care or concern.

The absence of empathy is a key characteristic of dark personalities and is deeply ingrained in their interactions with others.

4) They struggle with vulnerability

Beneath the surface of a dark personality, there often lies a struggle with vulnerability.

They may have a hard time opening up and showing their true selves, fearing that their flaws and insecurities will be exposed.

It’s not easy to live like this.

The fear of being vulnerable can be incredibly isolating, making it difficult for them to form deep, meaningful relationships.

They might put up walls, hiding their true selves behind a facade of strength and confidence.

By recognizing this struggle with vulnerability, we can better understand their actions and responses, and approach the situation with more compassion and understanding.

It doesn’t make their actions right, but it does add another layer of depth to our understanding of their personality.

5) They always need to be right

We’ve all been there – the frustrating conversation where the other person just won’t admit they’re wrong.

For individuals with dark personalities, this isn’t a one-off occurrence but a consistent pattern.

They will go to great lengths to maintain their image of superiority, even if it means twisting facts, ignoring logic, or dismissing others’ opinions.

This constant need to be right can turn simple discussions into complex debates, leaving you feeling unheard and invalidated.

It’s not because they’re stubborn or passionate about their viewpoint, but more about maintaining control and asserting dominance.

Their inability to accept fault or be open to different perspectives can make interactions with them challenging and sometimes exhausting.

6) They’re often envious of others

We’ve all known someone who seems to have a hard time being happy for others.

For individuals with dark personality traits, this isn’t just occasional envy – it’s a persistent part of their behavior.

For example, a friend of mine once shared an exciting promotion at work.

Instead of congratulating her, a mutual acquaintance immediately started comparing their own achievements, subtly downplaying her accomplishment.

This person couldn’t just be happy for my friend. They had to make it about themselves, turning the conversation into a competition.

7) They rarely take responsibility for their actions

One of the key behaviors of individuals with dark personality traits is their inability, or rather unwillingness, to own up to their actions.

They are quick to shift blame onto others, creating a world where they are never at fault.

Let’s face it – it’s hard to grow and evolve if you never admit your mistakes.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s a reality we all need to face. Without accountability, there’s no room for growth or improvement.

It’s not your job to force them to take responsibility, nor is it your duty to shoulder the blame they’re trying to shift onto you.

You deserve to be in relationships where mutual respect and accountability are valued.

8) They engage in repeated harmful behaviors

The most important thing to remember about individuals with dark personality traits is their tendency to engage in harmful behaviors repeatedly.

It isn’t a one-time lapse in judgement or an occasional misstep. It’s a consistent pattern that forms the crux of their interactions.

Whether it’s manipulation, lack of empathy, or shifting blame, these behaviors are not isolated incidents.

They are deeply ingrained habits that shape their actions and responses.

Recognizing this pattern is crucial. It’s not about judging them or labeling them as ‘bad’, but about understanding their behavior and protecting your own well-being.

The more aware you are of these subtle signs, the better equipped you’ll be to navigate your interactions with them.