There’s a fine line between being cool under pressure and hiding stress.

Men, in particular, often mask their stress, making it a challenge to recognize when they’re feeling overwhelmed.

But here’s the thing, even when they’re trying to keep it under wraps, there are subtle behaviors that give them away.

In this article, I’ll highlight six of these behaviors, giving you a better understanding of when a man may be more stressed than he’s letting on.

These little signs can make a big difference in understanding what’s going on beneath the surface.

So, let’s dive in and shed some light on these tell-tale signs of hidden stress.

1) Changes in eating habits

It’s not a secret that stress can affect our eating habits. But for men, these changes can be rather subtle.

Have you noticed that he’s suddenly skipping breakfast, or maybe he’s reaching for those comfort foods more often? Perhaps he’s overeating or not eating at all.

These changes are not as obvious as you might think, especially if they happen gradually. But they’re signs that he might be struggling with stress.

It’s important to remember that everyone reacts to stress differently. Some people might eat more, while others lose their appetite completely.

So if you notice any significant changes in his eating habits, it could be a sign that he’s more stressed than he’s letting on.

But before jumping to conclusions, have an open conversation about it. It’s always better to communicate and understand the situation from his perspective.

2) Changes in sleeping patterns

In the same way, a change in his sleeping pattern could signal that he’s under more stress than he lets on. 

Stress has a direct impact on sleep, and it can manifest in two ways—either he’s struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep, or he’s sleeping much more than usual to escape the pressure he’s feeling.

These shifts are often a window into his mental and emotional state.

If he’s tossing and turning at night, it could be because his mind is racing with worries he hasn’t shared.

On the flip side, sleeping excessively might be his way of shutting down and avoiding the stress he feels unable to confront.

Either way, it’s worth reaching out to start a conversation on what might be on his mind. 

3) He’s more forgetful than usual

We all have those moments where we forget where we put our keys or can’t remember if we turned off the stove. It’s part of being human.

But when I was going through a particularly stressful period, I found myself forgetting even simple things.

I’d walk into a room and forget why I went there, or I’d struggle to remember important dates that I usually had no problem recalling.

The thing is, when a man is under stress, his mind is often juggling too many thoughts at once, which can lead to forgetfulness.

It’s like trying to keep too many balls in the air at once – inevitably, something is going to drop.

Again, the occasional forgetfulness is okay. We all have off days. It’s when these moments start becoming a pattern that you might want to gently check in with him.

4) He’s less resilient than usual

Resilience, or mental toughness, is our ability to bounce back from adversity. It’s an important quality that helps us handle stress and keep moving forward.

But when a man is burdened with more stress than he’s letting on, his resilience can take a hit. He might react more negatively to setbacks, or struggle to keep a positive outlook.

I remember a time in my life when I was dealing with a lot of hidden stress. Even small problems seemed insurmountable. Looking back, it was clear that my resilience was at an all-time low.

In my book, ‘The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness’, I discuss how stress can chip away at our mental toughness. And how recognizing this can be an important step in managing that stress.

So if you notice a dip in his resilience, it might be a sign that he’s dealing with more stress than he’s letting on. But don’t worry – resilience is like a muscle; it can be strengthened. My book offers practical steps to do just that.

5) He’s more irritable than usual

We all have our moments of impatience and irritability.

One time, I found myself snapping at the smallest things – a missing sock, a misaligned picture on the wall, or even a slow internet connection.

It took me a while to realize that my irritability was not about these trivial things, but a reflection of the underlying stress I was trying to suppress.

When men are dealing with hidden stress, this can manifest as increased irritability. The daily frustrations that we usually shrug off may suddenly become major annoyances. 

If you notice that his fuse is shorter than usual, it might be worth having a patient and understanding conversation with him about what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Remember, it’s not the small annoyances that are the real problem; they’re just the triggers revealing a deeper issue.

6) He’s withdrawn

Have you noticed him pulling back lately—spending more time alone or avoiding conversations he used to enjoy?

When stress starts to weigh heavily, withdrawal is often one of the first subtle signs.

It’s his way of creating space, not necessarily because he doesn’t care, but because he might feel overwhelmed or unsure of how to express what’s on his mind.

This kind of retreat can be a way to protect himself while he processes his emotions privately, but it can also leave him feeling isolated and disconnected.

If you see this happening, approach with gentle curiosity rather than pressure. A question like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit quieter than usual—how are you holding up?” can provide a safe space for him to open up when he’s ready.

Of course, it’s important to respect his need for space, but also to keep communication open. Let him know you’re there for him and ready to listen whenever he feels like talking.

Final thoughts

Understanding how stress manifests in subtle ways can help you support the people you care about before things escalate.

These small signs often speak volumes, and recognizing them is a powerful first step.

For a deeper dive into how stress shapes behavior and actionable strategies to build resilience, check out my book, The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness. 

But for now, stay attentive and empathetic. Try and create a space where others can talk openly about stress without judgment or stigma.

Because sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do for someone who is hiding their stress is simply to be there, ready to listen when they’re ready to talk.