As a psychologist, I’ve seen a broad spectrum of behaviors. Some people are genuinely kind and altruistic, while others…not so much.

And then there are those who fall into an entirely different category – the low-quality, selfish individuals.

These are people who consistently put their needs first, often at the expense of others. But their selfishness can be subtle, making it hard to spot until you’re already entangled in their web.

In this article, I’ll reveal some of these subtle behaviors that point to a low-quality and selfish man.

By the end, you’ll be better equipped to spot these signs and steer clear. Trust me, it’s a skill you’ll want in your arsenal.

1) They’re constantly self-centered

Don’t get me wrong, everyone has moments of self-centeredness. It’s human nature to look after our own needs first. But with a low-quality and selfish man, this behavior is a constant.

You’ll notice that their conversations, decisions and actions are predominantly about them.

Whether it’s interrupting you to steer the conversation back to themselves or disregarding your feelings for their convenience, these signs shouldn’t be ignored.

This relentless self-focus isn’t just irritating – it’s a subtle sign of their selfishness. And understanding this can save you from a lot of future frustration and heartache.

A relationship should be about give and take. If you’re only giving and they’re only taking, it might be time to reconsider the balance.

2) Lack of empathy

I once had a client, let’s call him John, who was a textbook example of a low-quality, selfish man. One of the most striking things about John was his glaring lack of empathy.

John’s girlfriend would often come to him, upset about something that happened at work.

Instead of offering comfort or understanding, John would dismiss her feelings or tell her she was overreacting. Sometimes, he’d even turn the situation around and make it about himself.

This lack of empathy is a classic trait in selfish individuals. They struggle to put themselves in other people’s shoes because they’re too focused on their own world.

If you notice this behavior in someone, it’s a red flag that they’re not considering your feelings and needs, and it’s something you shouldn’t ignore.

3) They never apologize

In psychology, we call it non-apologetic behavior, a common trait among low-quality and selfish individuals. Did you know the inability to apologize is often linked to narcissism?

A low-quality and selfish man will avoid apologizing at all costs. Whether it’s by deflecting, ignoring, or even blaming you for their actions, they’ll find a way to dodge accountability.

It’s as if they believe admitting fault is a sign of weakness.

The thing is, every human being makes mistakes. Owning up to them and apologizing is a sign of maturity and respect for others. If you’re dealing with someone who can’t do that, it’s a clear sign of their selfish nature.

4) They’re manipulative

Speaking of dodging responsibility, another trait of a low-quality and selfish man is manipulation.

They’re masters at twisting situations to their advantage and making you feel like you’re the one in the wrong, even when you’re not.

Manipulation can be subtle – a snide comment here, a guilt trip there. It’s easy to miss if you don’t know what you’re looking for. But once you spot it, it’s hard to ignore.

If you find yourself constantly questioning your actions or feeling guilty without reason, take a step back, as you might be dealing with a manipulator. 

5) They lack generosity

I have a friend who was in a relationship with a man who was, by all accounts, very successful. He had a good job, a nice car, and seemed to have everything figured out. But there was one thing that was off – he was stingy.

Despite his financial stability, he never offered to pay for dinner. He’d never buy her small gifts or show any form of financial generosity.

Even on her birthday, he’d find a way to avoid spending money on her. It wasn’t about the money – it was about the lack of thought and willingness to make her happy.

Generosity isn’t about being wealthy – it’s about being willing to give, whether it’s your time, effort, or resources.

A lack of generosity, especially when it’s clearly within their means, is a subtle sign of a low-quality and selfish man.

6) They don’t respect boundaries

Respect for personal boundaries is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship. However, low-quality and selfish men often disregard this.

Whether it’s showing up uninvited, going through your personal belongings, or disregarding your emotional boundaries, these actions demonstrate a lack of respect.

They’re so focused on their own needs and wants that they completely ignore yours.

If you find that someone consistently violates your boundaries even after you’ve communicated them clearly, it’s a telltale sign of their selfish nature. It’s crucial to remember that respect is non-negotiable in any relationship.

7) They’re emotionally unavailable

The most telling sign of a low-quality and selfish man is emotional unavailability.

These folks often keep their emotions under lock and key, making it nearly impossible to form a deep, emotional connection with them.

Emotional unavailability is more than just being reserved or introverted. It’s a refusal to open up, share their feelings, or be vulnerable.

It’s a one-way street where you’re expected to share and be open, but they remain closed off.

This emotional disconnect can be incredibly damaging in relationships, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

If someone is unwilling to share their emotions with you, it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of love – it means they’re not capable of providing the emotional support that every relationship needs.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect

At the heart of all these behaviors is a fundamental lack of respect. Respect for your time, your feelings, your boundaries, and ultimately, your worth.

According to renowned psychologist Dr. John Gottman, the lack of respect is one of the biggest predictors of relationship failure. And he should know – he’s spent over four decades studying relationships.

A low-quality and selfish man may not be easy to spot at first glance, but over time, these subtle behaviors can gradually come to light.

In the end, remember this: you’re worthy of love and respect. Don’t settle for anything less.