Staying single can be a tough choice, but it’s often the best decision until you find someone truly exceptional.

That doesn’t mean waiting for the perfect partner – because let’s face it, no one is perfect. Instead, it’s about identifying the unique qualities that make a person truly special.

I’ve spent years studying relationships and I believe there are 7 exceptional qualities that you should look out for. Today, I share them with you. 

These aren’t the usual traits like ‘kind’ or ‘funny’, but rather qualities that can dramatically improve your relationship and your life.

Let’s dive in. 

1) Emotional intelligence

Perhaps the most essential quality of all, emotional intelligence is often overlooked when searching for a partner.

Emotional intelligence, simply put, is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as empathize with the emotions of others.

It’s a crucial trait for maintaining a healthy relationship.

Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner just didn’t seem to understand what you were feeling?

Or perhaps they were incapable of managing their own emotions in a healthy way. This is a clear sign of lacking emotional intelligence.

A partner with high emotional intelligence can recognize when you’re feeling down and offer comfort, even if you haven’t expressed your feelings verbally.

They can manage their own emotions effectively, preventing unnecessary arguments and misunderstandings.

So before jumping into a relationship, make sure your potential partner demonstrates a high level of emotional intelligence.

Remember, it’s not just about how they treat you when things are going well – it’s also about how they handle conflict and stressful situations.

2) Comfort in solitude

This might sound counterintuitive but stick with me.

It’s easy to think that someone who loves being around people all the time would make the perfect partner.

But here’s a different perspective.

A person who can find happiness and contentment while being alone is often more emotionally stable.

They’ve learned to rely on themselves for happiness rather than depending solely on others.

Don’t get me wrong, enjoying social activities and valuing relationships is important too.

But a person who’s comfortable in their own company brings a certain level of emotional maturity to a relationship.

They’re less likely to be overly dependent or clingy.

Plus, they’ll respect your personal space and understand when you need some alone time.

3) Self-sufficiency

Another quality that might not be on the top of your list but definitely should be is self-sufficiency.

A self-sufficient person can take care of themselves physically, emotionally, and financially.

They don’t rely on others for their basic needs or happiness.

This is a sign of a mature individual who can contribute positively to a relationship.

I’ve seen countless relationships where one person becomes overly dependent on the other, mistaking dependency for love.

It’s a pattern that can lead to resentment and an unhealthy dynamic between partners.

In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into this topic and share insights on how to foster a healthier relationship dynamic.

But for the moment, know to seek out someone who stands on their own two feet.

Not only does this quality bring balance and equality to a relationship, but it also promotes mutual respect and admiration.

4) Resilience

 

In life, we all face ups and downs.

It’s not about avoiding the storms, but learning how to dance in the rain.

Resilience is an exceptional quality that everyone should look for in a partner.

A resilient person can bounce back from adversity, learn from their mistakes, and keep going even when times are tough.

As Helen Keller once wisely said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

Seek out someone who has faced challenges and come out stronger on the other side.

Their resilience will not only inspire you but will also ensure that they can handle whatever life throws at your relationship.

5) Active listening

You’ve probably heard the saying, ‘Communication is key in a relationship’.

And while that’s true, there’s more to it than just talking.

The real key is active listening.

Active listening means fully focusing, understanding, responding, and then remembering what is being said.

It’s about more than just hearing the words; it’s about understanding the feelings and intentions behind them.

In my experience, I’ve found that relationships where both partners actively listen to each other tend to be more successful.

These couples show empathy, validate each other’s feelings and make each other feel heard and understood.

So, as you navigate the world of dating, pay attention to how well your potential partner listens.

Are they engaged in your conversations? Do they ask follow-up questions? Do they remember what you’ve told them?

These are all signs of an active listener and a promising partner.

6) Kindness

It might seem obvious, but kindness is a trait that can be easily overlooked in the hustle and bustle of modern dating.

Kindness goes beyond just being nice; it’s about showing empathy, understanding, and respect to all people, not just those you’re close to.

It’s about how they treat waitstaff at a restaurant, how they interact with a homeless person on the street, or how they handle conflict.

In my own life, I’ve seen how kindness can transform relationships.

When both partners treat each other with kindness even during disagreements, the relationship becomes stronger and more harmonious.

It’s a universal trait that speaks volumes about a person’s character.

7) Authenticity

In a world where we’re often encouraged to present the best versions of ourselves, it’s refreshing to meet someone who’s authentic.

Authenticity means being true to ourselves, acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, and not being afraid to show our imperfections.

It’s about being real, not perfect.

An authentic person doesn’t hide behind a facade or try to be someone they’re not.

They’re comfortable in their own skin and aren’t afraid to show their true colors, even if they’re not always pretty.

In a relationship, authenticity fosters trust and intimacy. You can’t truly love someone until you see their true self – flaws and all.

Look for a partner who’s unapologetically themselves.

Because in the end, it’s our imperfections that make us uniquely beautiful.

Keeping the journey in perspective

The journey to finding a partner with these 7 exceptional qualities isn’t always a smooth one.

It can be filled with doubt, heartbreak, and maybe even loneliness.

But it’s essential to remember that the process shouldn’t be rushed.

We live in a society that often pressures us to settle down and find “the one.”

But in reality, being single is not a state to be escaped from hastily.

It is a meaningful phase of growth and self-discovery.

Throughout this journey, you’ll learn more about yourself, your desires, your boundaries, and your ability to love and be loved.

This self-knowledge is invaluable and will guide you in your pursuit of a fulfilling relationship.

To dive deeper into this topic, I recommend watching this insightful video by Justin Brown.

It offers a fresh perspective on staying single and the beauty of self-commitment.

Remember, love isn’t about finding someone who completes you; it’s about finding someone who complements you.

Hold out for these 7 exceptional qualities, because you deserve nothing less.