Shall I spill the tea on one of my FFFs? (Formative female friendships, that is.)

Way back when, I used to be buddies with someone who was all about the mind games. 

Oh yeah, and this might not surprise you, but she was a total and complete narcissist. And yet she had her hooks in me—I considered her to be a loyal and true friend.

Over time, and after a lot of pain, I decided I was done playing her games. So done. Slowly but surely, I took my power back and showed her that I wouldn’t put up with it.

If you’re looking to reclaim your power in the face of a narcissist, here are 8 surefire ways to do it. 

Starting with a simple one: keep calm and carry on.

1) Keep your cool and respond with rationality

Facing off with a narcissist? Here’s the game plan: keep cool and stay rational. Of course, this can certainly be easier said than done, at times!

Narcissists thrive on emotional chaos… so go ahead and deny them the satisfaction. 

When they toss drama your way, don’t take the bait. Respond with logic, not emotion. 

Sometimes, it can be like speaking a language they don’t understand. 

There’s a high chance they’re expecting a storm, so give them dead calm. Watch them stumble as they try to comprehend what’s going on.

After all, it’s not about fighting fire with fire.

2) Share your feelings and concerns using “I” statements

There’s one savvy way to stand your ground without getting sucked into their whirlwind, and that’s using “I” statements.

These little gems are your secret weapon. Instead of pointing fingers and saying, “You always do this!” (cue the defensive shields), try expressing yourself with an “I” statement. 

Say, “I feel unheard when XYZ happens.” Now, why does this work so well? 

Well, narcissists thrive on control and dominance. When you use “I” statements, you’re not challenging their authority—you’re simply stating your own experience. 

It’s like saying, “Hey, this is my reality, and I’m sharing it with you.”

Narcissists also happen to feed on emotional reactions—they want drama, validation, and attention. 

But when you respond with calm assertiveness, it’s like serving them a dish they didn’t order. 

Remember, it’s not about playing their game or sinking to their level. It’s about establishing your boundaries with confidence. 

By expressing your feelings and concerns without provoking defensiveness, you’re asserting yourself in a way that keeps your sanity intact. (Trust me, you’re gonna need your sanity!)

3) Be cautious about making excessive sacrifices for them

Let’s talk about personal sacrifices. We’ve all been there, huh? 

Bending over backward, tying ourselves in knots, only to realize we’re doing it all for someone else’s benefit. 

But guess what? It’s time to hit pause on the unnecessary sacrifices.

Think about it for a hot sec. Why, oh why, should you sacrifice your happiness, time, or dreams just to feed the insatiable ego of a narcissist?

Sure, you can be kind, be generous, but don’t overdo it. 

When you prioritize your own needs, you’re basically sending a loud and clear message that their game of manipulation won’t work.

Instead of sacrificing every ounce of your energy for them, start setting boundaries. Politely decline whenever you need to. 

Rather, focus on what brings you joy and fulfillment. Prioritizing yourself is not just a smart move—it’s a game-changer.

4) Redirect the conversation

So, you’re deep in a seemingly innocent chat with your narcissist pal. Suddenly, out of nowhere, they veer into a self-aggrandizing speech or attempt to twist the conversation into their own agenda. 

Now, you could let them have their shining moment, or… you could subtly take control.

You could go ahead and say something like, “That’s an interesting perspective, but let’s circle back to what we were discussing earlier”? 

It’s a bit of a cheeky, tactical move, but it is a gentle but firm reminder that you’re not about to get sucked into their vortex of self-obsession. 

It’s fantastic because it disrupts their game plan. Narcissists thrive on manipulating conversations to suit their ego-driven needs. 

By redirecting, you’re essentially changing the rules, and they’re left scrambling to regain control. 

Every time you calmly bring the conversation back to the main topic, you’re sending a message that you won’t be swayed by their mind games.

Redirecting isn’t about shutting them down, rather, it’s about maintaining a balanced conversation. 

Ask follow-up questions, show engagement, but don’t let them hijack the entire chat!

5) Use humor to deflect narcissistic behavior and lighten the mood

Here’s one of my all-time favorite moves: the power of humor.

When your narcissistic mate starts pulling their classic self-centered antics, and you whip out a witty comment or a playful joke, suddenly, the power dynamic shifts.

When you use humor, you’re tapping into the realm of cognitive dissonance. It’s like throwing a curveball at their self-absorbed worldview. 

They expect you to play by their rules, but you hit ’em with a punchline instead. Fun, huh?

It’s a killer way to show them that their grandiosity doesn’t faze you, plus it disarms them without directly challenging them. 

Don’t forget the golden rule of humor: comic timing is everything. 

You’re not looking to belittle or humiliate them… that’s their game! Instead, you’re flipping the script, making light of their behavior in a way that leaves them without a comeback.

6) Keep a record, noting instances of manipulation or inappropriate behavior

So, you’re in a twisted game with a narcissist, where reality is constantly being reshaped, and you’re left feeling like you’re on quicksand. 

What if I told you that you could confront them without falling into their traps? Well, documenting your interactions is a way to do it.

When you start noting down instances of manipulation or inappropriate behavior, you create a trail that leads straight back to the truth. 

This allows you to stay grounded and not get lost in the narcissist’s mind games.

When you decide you’ve had enough and it’s time to involve others, be it friends, family, or even the legal system, you’ve got a meticulously curated record of their antics. 

It’s not your word against theirs—it’s your documented reality against their fiction. It’s the irrefutable evidence that lets you say, “Look, I’m not playing these games. Here are the receipts.”

Remember, it’s not at all about stooping to their level—it’s about rising above it with a clear record of your reality. 

7) Set gradual limits and assert your independence over time

It’s all about asserting your independence over time. 

Think of it as a game of strategy, where each move is a subtle but firm declaration that you won’t be heaved around.

This approach lies in its subtlety. You’re not putting up a fortress overnight, but you’re definitely starting to build some sturdy walls. 

It’s a clever way to show the narcissist that their usual tricks won’t work on you.

And here’s the beauty… they might not even notice it at first. In fact, they’re so self-absorbed they almost definitely won’t.

Setting boundaries without triggering their defense mechanisms might work as a gradual awakening for them, and by the time they realize what’s happening, you’ve already established a new power dynamic.

8) Show them that you are more than willing to walk away

Recognizing when the situation turns toxic is so, so important. 

Now, I get it—walking away might feel like a defeat, especially if you’re someone who likes to finish what you started. 

But let me tell you a little secret: walking away is not a sign of weakness, it’s actually a display of strength. 

You’re showing the narcissist that their games won’t hold power over you. Why? Because you value your mental health.

Remember, be bold, be strong, and take a step back.

Final thoughts

To sum things up, dealing with a narcissist can be rough.

But it pays to remember that standing up to their mind games is essential for your wellbeing.

Stay calm and respond with logic, denying them the emotional chaos they thrive off, and use “I” statements to express your feelings without challenging their authority. 

Avoid making sacrifices and set firm boundaries—gradually if need be.

Redirect conversations when they become self-centered (which they will) and use humor to disarm them while having a little bit of fun yourself. 

Always, always, keep a record of manipulative instances for future reference.

Remember, standing up to a narcissistic person is about maintaining your wellbeing and setting boundaries, even if it doesn’t necessarily change their behavior.