Some people are naturally charismatic.

They are universally liked and manage to make a good impression everywhere they go.

Others… not so much.

If you fit into the latter category, rest assured: we’ve all been there.

It’s normal not to be *everyone’s* cup of tea.

Still, if you want to make a positive change, say goodbye to any aggravating habits that might put off others.

Here are 12 small things you’re doing that make people dislike you, according to psychology.

Luckily, most of these are completely in your control.

1) You interrupt

You know when you talk to someone and they seem like all they want to do is cut you off so they can get their own point across?

That’s annoying.  

Interrupting someone can be interpreted as a sign of disrespect, signaling that you believe your thoughts or contributions are more important than theirs.

According to psychology, it belittles them.

Practice active listening and respectful communication to foster healthier relationships with those around you.

2) You’re always on your phone

My screen time is the stuff of nightmares, but I do my best to avoid being on my phone when out and about.

When I have drinks with a friend, my phone stays in my bag. When I’m on a date, I don’t check my notifications every 5 minutes.

It all boils down to respect for the other person’s time.

You can’t make them feel heard if you don’t give them your full attention.

Others will like you much more once you do.

3) You one-up people every chance you get

Always trying to top someone else’s stories comes across as competitive and diminishes the enjoyment of sharing experiences.

Psychologists point out that one-uppers are some of the least pleasant people to talk to.

From experience, I can confirm. I had a friend who was perpetually trying to overshadow me:

• If I wasn’t feeling well, she was having the worst migraine of her life
• If I told her I did something I’m proud of at work, she would bring up her recent promotion
• If I shared details about an upcoming vacation, she would insist she was going somewhere better and more expensive
• If I opened up about a struggle, her trials were much, much worse

She was exhausting. 

We’re no longer friends.

4) You are chronically late

When you are chronically late for each and every meeting or casual hang, others are forced to wait around for you.

You’re starting the interaction on the wrong foot.

Plus, you’re telling whoever you’re meeting that you don’t value their time and that you prioritize your convenience over theirs.

Anyone can get stuck in traffic or fall behind on their schedule occasionally.

As soon as lateness becomes a pattern, though, it leads to frustration and resentment for everyone involved.

5) You’re clingy

I get clingy in romantic relationships if I feel like my partner is pulling away.

I know it’s irritating and I’m working on it.

That said, some people tend to be clingy 24/7, with their friends and family too, forcing others to reclaim their independence and personal space.

According to psychology, bothersome habits of clingy people include:

• Asking for help with any minor task
• Asking for favors and rarely returning them
• Asking for validation too often
• Using guilt to manipulate others into talking/spending time with you
• Wanting to be included in everything, even when that would be inappropriate

Sounds like anyone you know?

6) You complain (too much)

Life is hard and complaining is a popular pastime activity.

Whine too much, however, and you will turn people off.

In fact, a study found that whining is the most annoying sound, surpassing buzzsaws and crying babies.

Something to think about.

7) You’re too negative

Being negative can also make people dislike you.

Ever had a friend tell you that your crazy dream is unattainable, that you have no chance with your crush, or that you might as well stop trying to eat healthy because you’ll never be able to lose the weight?

Then you know what I’m talking about.

Not only that but positive thinking comes with countless benefits, including lower rates of depression and better coping skills during hardships.

There’s a difference between being realistic and cutting someone’s wings.

8) You try too hard to impress

People who try too hard to impress come across as inauthentic.

Since others generally value genuine connections, they label behavior that feels forced or contrived as off-putting. Like:

• Bragging about important people you know, even when they’re not relevant to the conversation
• Embellishing achievements to appear more successful
• Flaunting expensive possessions or designer labels to demonstrate wealth
• Craving validation from others by seeking the spotlight or dominating conversations
• Changing your opinions at the drop of a hat so they align others’, in an attempt to be liked

It’s giving desperation.

9) You preach

Preaching can alienate others, create tension in relationships, and foster resentment.

I had dinner with a friend a few weeks back and she told me about her suspicions that she might be struggling with burnout.

I had the same problem not long ago, so I immediately went into a rant about how her stress levels are too high because she works too much and spends too much time on her phone and doesn’t eat well, and barely moves.

My intentions were good, but my approach was abysmal. I could sense her shutting off and regretting she ever brought up the topic.

My friend was looking for a listening ear and a touch of comfort. And there I was, running my mouth about things she already knew.  

Don’t follow in my footsteps.

Preaching makes others defensive, as no one likes to be lectured or told what to do.

If they ask for advice, give it to them. Otherwise, they’re probably simply looking to vent their frustrations for a while.

Make sure you accommodate them.

10) You obsess

There’s a scene in Sex and the City I absolutely love.

It features the main character, Carrie, complaining about a recent break-up to the point where all her closest friends tell her they can’t take it anymore and recommend she see a therapist.

I think it resonates with me because I obsess over things, failed relationships in particular, and it reminds me not to burden my friends with the same nonsense over and over again.

Yes, other people can offer an outside perspective and help you process stuff by encouraging you to talk things through.

But no one wants to hear about the same drama day after day.

Which brings us to the next point on the list.

11) You attract drama

According to psychology, people surrounded by drama can be incredibly charismatic… in the short term.

Before long, their drama starts to get on others’ nerves, and their relationships sour.

Drama comes with emotional intensity and turmoil, which can be exhausting for those involved.

Additionally, it’s typically accompanied by negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and sadness.

Constant exposure to negativity creates a toxic atmosphere and dampens the mood.

Perhaps you do one or more of the following:

• Seek out conflict or confrontation with others at every turn
• Make impulsive decisions or act recklessly, inviting chaos into your life
• Get involved in gossip or spreading rumors about others
• Exaggerate personal problems or crises for attention

If so, it’s time you readjusted your attitude.

12) You’re cheap

Times are tough, everything is expensive, and money is a sensitive topic.

With that disclaimer out of the way, being cheap can definitely make people dislike you, especially if you’re being judgy and rude about it.

For instance, if you look down on a friend for spending too much – of their own money – on an experience or an object you deem “unnecessary.”

Or, if you refuse to pay your share of the tip.

Or, if you never buy gifts for people’s birthdays.

In short, if your cheapness starts to inconvenience others.

It’s cool to save money.

But once you agree to partake in an experience, don’t bring everyone down by complaining about how much it costs or refusing to cover your share.

You’ll only make the rest of the group angry.

Bottom line

While these bad habits may seem minor on their own, their cumulative effect impacts how others perceive you.

Dropping them won’t just make others like you more, but there’s a good chance you’ll like yourself more, too.

You’ll live in the moment and focus on the positive.

As a result, your confidence will soar.