So, you’re married, huh? You found your special someone, tied the knot, and hoped for the best.

But now, something feels a bit off. You may be asking yourself, “Did I marry the right person?” It’s a tough one to swallow, but sometimes, it’s a question that needs to be asked.

In this piece, we’re going to explore 11 small but meaningful signs that might suggest your spouse isn’t the right fit for you.

But here’s the thing – these are just signs. They don’t mean your marriage is doomed. Every relationship is unique and what may be a red flag in one, could just be a minor issue in another.

So, consider this article as a helping hand, not a strict rule book.

1) You feel more like roommates than a couple

It’s true that over time, the initial excitement of being married can fade a bit. But if you start feeling more like roommates than a married couple, that’s a red flag. This doesn’t just mean physically – although that is important – but emotionally as well.

If you’re not sharing your thoughts, feelings, and dreams with each other or if you’re spending less quality time together, it might be a sign that something’s not quite right. Remember, communication and shared experiences are key to a healthy relationship.

2) Your values don’t align

Values are like the backbone of a relationship. They’re the deep-rooted beliefs that guide our decisions and attitudes. If your values are wildly different from your spouse’s, it’s like trying to mix oil and water.

For example, research indicates that divergent political perspectives, encompassing voting habits, can detrimentally impact interpersonal relationships.

Sure, some differences can add spice to a relationship, but when it comes to core values like family, money, or personal growth, not being on the same page can lead to tension and misunderstandings. 

3) You’re always walking on eggshells

Have you ever felt like you’re tiptoeing on fragile ice, fearing that the smallest misstep could spark conflict or upset your partner?

I can relate. In my past relationship, I constantly felt the need to filter my words and actions to sidestep confrontation. It was draining and anxiety-inducing.

Being unable to be genuine or express yourself freely without fearing repercussions isn’t conducive to a healthy relationship. It’s a glaring signal that your partner might not be the right fit for you.

4) You’re not each other’s priority

In a healthy relationship, partners prioritize each other and their relationship. But if you find that your spouse consistently puts other things before you, or vice versa, it might be a sign of trouble. 

Research underscores that couples who perceive their partners as attentive to their needs experience heightened levels of relationship satisfaction.

Thus, if mutual prioritization is lacking, it’s high time to pause, reflect, and recalibrate the dynamics of your relationship.

5) You don’t feel supported

One of the most beautiful aspects of being in a committed relationship is the feeling of unwavering support. Knowing that there’s someone in your corner, cheering you on, believing in you even when you’re doubting yourself, is truly heartwarming.

If you’re in a marriage where you constantly feel unsupported or misunderstood, it can be incredibly disheartening. It’s like trying to climb a mountain without any gear.

We all need that pillar of support, particularly from our spouse. If it’s missing, it might be a sign that they’re not your endgame. 

6) There’s more criticism than compliments

In any relationship, it’s normal to have disagreements and to point out each other’s mistakes. But if your spouse is constantly criticizing you rather than appreciating you, it can really shake your self-esteem.

I remember a time in my life when every small thing I did was under scrutiny. From the way I dressed to how I cooked, nothing seemed good enough. It felt like I was living under a microscope, and let me tell you, it was no fun.

If compliments and words of affirmation are rarer than a blue moon in your relationship, it might be a sign that you’re not with your Mr./Ms. Right. 

7) You’re not happy

At the core of it all, you’re just not happy. No, I’m not talking about the occasional blip of dissatisfaction or a bad day. I mean a deep, consistent, gnawing unhappiness that follows you around like a shadow.

Maybe you’re always stressed or you feel lonely even when they’re right next to you. Maybe you’re constantly daydreaming about a different life without them. Whatever it is, if your gut has been screaming at you that something’s wrong, it might be time to listen.

Life is too short to be stuck in a marriage where you’re more miserable than happy. It’s okay to admit that things aren’t working out. It’s okay to want more for yourself.  

8) You have contempt for each other

Contempt, a venomous emotion, poisons the very essence of any relationship. It’s a toxic brew of superiority, casting one’s partner as inferior rather than an equal.

This disdain can manifest in various forms—from mocking jabs and cutting sarcasm to dismissively rolling one’s eyes or habitually invalidating their partner’s thoughts and emotions.

Contempt erects an impenetrable barrier between partners, corroding trust, respect, and intimacy. It breeds resentment and bitterness, fostering a climate of hostility and animosity. Ultimately, it erodes the foundation of love and connection, leaving behind a hollow shell of what once was a thriving relationship.

9) You don’t see a future together

A thriving relationship is built on the foundation of mutual compatibility, shared values, and aligned visions for the future. It’s a tapestry woven with the threads of shared dreams and collective aspirations.  

When envisioning a future with your partner feels more like navigating through a foggy maze than charting a clear path forward, it’s a poignant indicator that you’re not meant to be. 

It’s a profound reflection of the compatibility and alignment of your life paths. It’s an invitation to pause, reflect, and ask yourself the hard questions about whether your partner truly complements your journey and enhances your growth.

10) You’re constantly thinking about leaving

Let’s get real here. If the idea of packing your bags and walking out the door crosses your mind more often than not, it’s a sign that could signal your spouse isn’t the right person for you.

This recurring desire to escape isn’t merely a fleeting whim—it’s a profound reflection of the underlying dynamics of your partnership. It speaks volumes about the disconnect between your desires, aspirations, and the reality of your relationship.

11) You’re living separate lives

Lastly, if you and your spouse are living like two strangers under the same roof, it’s a pretty big neon sign flashing “wrong person”.

It’s alright to have separate interests and spend time apart. In fact, it’s healthy. But if you’re leading completely separate lives and are more interested in your life outside of the marriage than inside, it might be time to face the music.

Make no mistake: marriage is about companionship, shared experiences, and growing together. If these elements are missing, it can feel more like a chore than a loving relationship. 

Don’t ignore your guts

In conclusion, recognizing these subtle yet significant signs can serve as a compass guiding you towards greater clarity and fulfillment in your relationship.

While it may be daunting to confront the possibility that your spouse isn’t the right fit for you, acknowledging these indicators empowers you to make informed decisions about your future.

Remember, your happiness and well-being are paramount, and settling for a relationship that fails to honor your worth and nourish your soul is a disservice to yourself. Trust in your intuition, embrace the journey of self-discovery, and have faith that the path to genuine love and fulfillment lies ahead.