Knowing when to call it quits isn’t about defeat.

Quite the opposite.

There’s far more strength in walking away with your head held high.

Psychology tells us that it demands deep levels of self-respect and esteem to remove yourself from situations that aren’t serving you.

It takes courage to recognize when a situation has turned toxic.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the times when it’s better to have the pride and confidence to walk away while you can.

1) When arguments turn aggressive

When things start to get heated, dignified men walk away. They don’t allow things to escalate.

It’s not always easy to control our temper.

Society can mistakenly believe that men are more biologically aggressive than women, but the research tells us that’s not true.

In fact, psychology says it’s actually gender role identity, but not biological sex, that explains anger differences.

When someone embodies toxic ideas of masculinity that start to feel threatened studies find they are more likely to react angrily.

The reality is that sometimes it takes self-restraint to behave in appropriate ways. That requires emotional intelligence to regulate your emotions so they don’t get the better of you.

That’s why it takes a bigger man to say no to violence and aggression when his buttons are being pushed.

2) When you’re in a dead-end job that is making you miserable

This isn’t a call to rock up on Monday morning and hand in your notice.

When you live in the real world, you know that it’s nice to be able to afford life’s little luxuries like putting a roof over your head and groceries in the fridge.

Am I right?

Plus, who doesn’t have those days when work feels like a total pain in the ass.

Whilst we may not be able to quit and live off of thin air, we can consider our future.

Psychologist Christine Korol says that signs it may be time to find a new job include:

• Not feeling respected by your boss or colleagues
• Being micromanaged
• Constant stress and unhappiness
• Not seeing any potential for growth or improvement
• Not getting paid what you’re worth
• Not feeling engaged with your work
• Not having the right resources to do your job properly

Of course, a career change could involve having to build new skills and explore new ideas.

But self-respecting men take a proactive approach to learning, something psychologists refer to as a growth mindset.

That means they’re prepared to roll up their sleeves and get to work if there’s something in their life they don’t like.

They believe in their potential to grow and learn through applied effort.

3) When you’ve given all you can but it’s just not working

A bit of endurance is crucial when we’re working towards anything in life. But knowing when to quit and try something else is also vital to success.

Sometimes we give it our best shot, but it doesn’t work out as planned. That’s bound to be frustrating and disappointing.

There are no prizes given out for stubbornly refusing to quit no matter what.

When stress levels rise and we’re banging our heads against a brick wall, it’s better to step back and reevaluate.

As explained by Walden University, sometimes giving up takes true integrity and maturity, especially as psychological biases can trick us into holding on.

“All too often, we continue to pursue a goal that is not obtainable or seek to improve a situation that will not improve because of a concept called the sunk cost fallacy. This is a decision-making bias that causes us to spend more time, effort, money, and/or other resources on a project simply because we’ve already invested in it.1 This fallacy impacts our decision-making most when the stakes are high—for instance, continuing to pour money and energy into a new business you started even though it is rapidly failing.”

Many routes in life can lead to greater potential and fulfillment. A self-respecting man knows when to cut his losses and try another one. 

4) When someone is playing too hard to get

There’s this stereotype that men love the chase. But self-respecting men never wait around for someone who is wasting their time.

Effort and energy should always be reciprocated in a relationship.

When you’re not getting that, you can guarantee there is someone else out there who is willing to offer it to you.

It’s not that we have to lay all our cards on the table, a bit of mystery can be enticing.

But as one of the world’s leading experts in the study of emotions, Professor Aaron Ben-Zeév, explains game playing never ends well.

“Playing hard to get can create various problems, such as the necessity of deception and manipulation, a lack of reciprocity, playing superficial games in serious matters, attracting the wrong kind of people, and increasing insecurity and uncertainty in the relationship.”

5) When you’re being used

The obvious problem is knowing when that’s happening.

None of us intentionally seek out users and abusers. Often we’re taken in by them before we realize they don’t have the best intentions.

Once they’ve ensnared us it can be much harder to walk away.

That’s why professor and MD Bruce Y. Lee says we need to watch out for the following red flags to stay alert:

• They always ask for things without giving enough in return
• They’re only nice when they want something
• They keep score
• They’re ungrateful
• They have unequal expectations
• They don’t listen to your concerns
• They’re full of sweet-talking (love bombing)
• They don’t deliver on promises
• They don’t prioritize you
• They act superior

Our emotional ties to someone can make it hard to be assertive. But when you feel like you’re being used you shouldn’t put up with being unappreciated and undervalued.

6) When your boundaries are disregarded

Psychology tells us just how important it is to have healthy boundaries if we want good relationships.

These are the acceptable codes of conduct we want others to live by. It’s basically the rule book for how we expect to be treated.

Yet setting and upholding them can be trickier than we care to admit. Yet the consequences of weak boundaries can be really damaging.

For example, one 2020 study noted that people with blurred work-life boundaries experience burnout and emotional exhaustion.

That’s why, as highlighted in Psych Central, we need to make it clear when someone is overstepping.

“If you’ve set a boundary and someone crosses it, you have the power to let them know what will happen if they don’t respect you. Setting a consequence means that you’re serious about enforcing your boundary.”

If someone fails to respect and adhere to their boundaries, self-respecting men head for the door.

7) Constant criticism

There’s a balance to be struck here.

Because psychology tells us that it takes a mentally tough and secure man to be able to handle feedback.

Those with a fragile ego get instantly defensive. But that ends up stunting their growth in the long run.

Psychologically speaking, we have plenty of blind spots. So we don’t always see the truth that others can.

That’s why constructive criticism may not feel good to hear, but can be pretty powerful for our personal development.

But there is a line to be drawn.

Constant criticism becomes a toxin that casts a cloud of negativity over us.

If you’re in a situation where you feel like you can’t do right for doing wrong, then it may be time to walk away.

Psychotherapist Ilene S. Cohen says it can help to remember other people’s put-downs are often projections. 

“If you know that the things your critics are ranting about don’t reflect reality, that’s a clue that their criticism is really about them, not you. Whether there’s some truth in what they say or none, it isn’t fun to be criticized and picked apart.”

Ultimately, being exposed to non-stop fault-finding can start to erode your self-esteem and create anger.

Walking away isn’t defeatist it can be strategic

We can automatically assume standing your ground is better.

But that’s usually when we associate walking away with defeat.

What it’s important to remember is that removing yourself from harm is strategic.

It’s about stepping back to protect yourself and come back stronger.