Perseverance is a character trait that’s encouraged and celebrated.

And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but modern society pushes the narrative that grit and persistence is the only way to reach your goals.

But “knowing when to say when” is also a very desirable ability.

Persevering for the wrong reasons against insurmountable odds, or even pursuing a goal that no longer interests you can make your stress levels explode and adversely affect your physical health as well.

In fact, according to Psychology Today, quitting one goal that no longer excites you to begin a new endeavor could be the perfect strategy to ensure future success. 

When we give ourselves permission to stop investing our precious time and energy into something that’s a lost cause, we can concentrate on the things that are actually doable and will make a positive impact on our lives.

It’ll feel like a huge weight being lifted from your shoulders.

Walking away means you’re now free to direct your energy on the things you’re truly passionate about. 

It won’t be easy, mind you. Old habits definitely die hard, which provides the occasional obstacles as you activate your Plan B. 

But hey,  you won’t be spinning your wheels anymore, either. Learning how to pick your battles is something to celebrate.

Here are seven situations psychologists advise walking away from.

1) You’re perpetually stressed out

Stress sucks, but it’s also an inevitable, and sometimes even useful, part of life.

After all, stress is a biological response to alert us to possible danger.

This is obviously a good thing.

However, when stress becomes chronic, it’s no longer serving its purpose.

It begins to do untold damage to our mental and physical wellbeing.

Psychology tells us that persistent stress can lead to a host of health issues, which obviously decreases our quality of life.

And no, we can’t avoid every stressful situation in life, nor should we.

It’s about weighing risk versus reward, not running from every hint of stress. 

Once you can identify when your stress outweighs any possible benefit you’ll know it’s time to pack it in.

2) Emotionally abusive relationships

We’ve all had that family member or friend who lives to be a Debbie Downer.

Or the partner who only addresses us to criticize. 

This sort of person sucks the joy out of every room they enter without even trying.

The question is, why do we tolerate this behavior?

Relationships, especially intimate ones, are supposed to bring us joy, peace, and a sense of belonging. 

They shouldn’t make us feel small, inadequate, or unloved.

It’s tough to back away from people you love, but it makes room for better relationships that  lift you up instead of putting you down.

Stop hanging on in the hopes things will get better. If they haven’t by now, they probably won’t. 

I walked away from a 17-year marriage after I got tired of waiting for him to grow up.

When I finally ended it I was sad, of course, but I also felt … lighter. 

You absolutely deserve to have people who appreciate and respect you in your life. 

3) Dead-end career path

Does your job make you feel like you’re running on a treadmill, waiting in vain for a treat that never materializes? 

You’re putting in the time and effort, and all you have to show for it is carpal tunnel syndrome and a humpback? 

And yeah, a paycheck’s a paycheck, but if you’re still feasting on ramen noodles and there’s no realistic possibility for growth, it’s probably time to start perusing the job sites.

Changing jobs can be scary. This is your livelihood, yes.

But you also have to consider your quality of life. 

Since we all spend a ridiculous amount of time working, our job should be tolerable at the very least.

4) Pointless arguments

I’ll be the first to confirm that winning an argument provides a feeling of satisfaction, however fleeting. 

But there are definitely times when the best course is to walk away, even if the facts are on your side.

You don’t have to participate in every altercation you’re invited to.

Picking your battles is always the wiser choice. 

But if you do dive in and the discussion gets heated, your victory might ring hollow.

If the argument is with a loved one, you may want to cease and desist in the interest of protecting your relationship.

Again, pick your battles wisely.

And then there’s internet arguing. I admit I have participated for sport.

I’m not trying to win, (because nobody ever wins a cyber brawl), but if someone leaves me a comment that just begs to be mocked I may just reply, depending on my mood and level of aggravation.

I’m not trying to change anyone’s beliefs, I’m just expressing my own.

I know better than to think changing anyone’s mind is even possible. Our beliefs are too closely intertwined with our sense of self.  

So yeah, it’s a totally futile time-suck, but then again so is laundry and I still do that. 

What can I say? I’m weak, but honest.

5) When you’ve been taken advantage of 

If you’re always the one putting in all the work but your efforts are unappreciated or even unnoticed, you might want to reflect on why you’re even bothering.

If you’re always giving and never on the receiving end, it’s emotionally draining and even damaging over time.

This holds true no matter what the nature of the relationship is – partner, family member, friend, or work associate.

You won’t get a first-place ribbon for enduring the most disrespect.

You will guarantee more of the same in the future because you’ve shown that you’ll tolerate it. 

If you feel used or taken advantage of, the Mayo Clinic suggests that it’s time to set up some boundaries and get your boots that were made for walkin’.

6) You’re stuck in a rut

There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a rut. The worst part is you’ve usually been mired down long before you realize it, and by that point, it can feel overwhelming.

It’s happened to most of us at one time or another.

Every day is the same as the one before it and you live your life on autopilot.

But there’s a certain comfort in the monotony so it’s easy to let it eat you whole.

Walking away from your comfort zone is never easy, even when it’s in your best interests to do so. Push through your fear and self-doubt.

New opportunities and experiences await you.

I’m not just paying lip service.

If I’d simply embraced my rut, I’d still be a city nurse, and now I’m a rural writer. Worth it! 

7) You’ve done all you can do 

There comes a time when you have to admit you’ve possibly done everything you can do and given everything you have to give. 

When it’s clear that you’re just banging your head off a brick wall, walking away from a situation isn’t a defeat, it’s accepting that you’re working for a lost cause.

Cutting your losses isn’t always easy, but sometimes it’s the best thing we can do for ourselves.

Perseverance is a wonderful quality to possess, but knowing when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em (with thanks to Kenny Rogers) is priceless.  

Final thoughts

Your happiness is just as important as anyone else’s and you deserve relationships and situations that make you happy, not wanting to start a life in a new city under an assumed name.

So, please remember, walking away from a no-win situation isn’t weakness or a lack of motivation, it’s indicative of strength, wisdom, and self-respect.