Kindness is a virtue we can all benefit from embracing more often.

I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness and Buddhism enthusiast, and I’ve dedicated my life to understanding how our daily interactions shape our well-being.

Psychology reveals that there are certain situations where showing kindness isn’t just beneficial—it’s essential.

Let’s dive into eight situations where, according to psychology, you should always choose kindness. 

1) During conflict resolution

Life is filled with conflicts, both big and small. It’s a natural part of human interaction.

As an expert in mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve seen how the application of kindness in these situations can transform the outcome entirely.

Psychology supports this notion as well. Research has found that approaching conflict with kindness and empathy leads to better resolution and less lingering resentment.

When we face conflict, our instinct may be to defend our position fiercely. But imagine if instead, you approached the situation with understanding and kindness?

It’s not about conceding or giving in, it’s about creating a space where all parties feel heard and respected.

Applying kindness in conflict doesn’t just diffuse tension; it encourages mutual understanding and fosters healthier relationships.

2) When someone is going through a hard time

Everyone goes through tough times. And often, it’s during these periods that a little kindness can make a world of difference.

I’ve personally seen the transformative power of kindness in the face of adversity.

It’s like a beacon on a stormy night, offering comfort and hope when things seem bleak.

Psychology echoes this sentiment. Studies have shown that receiving kindness during periods of stress can significantly reduce negative emotions and increase feelings of positivity and resilience.

As the renowned Buddhist monk and mindfulness expert, Thich Nhat Hanh, once said: “Compassion is a verb.” In other words, compassion – or kindness – is not just about feeling sorry for someone; it’s about actively reaching out and offering support.

3) When dealing with personal failures

Failures and mistakes are an inevitable part of life. But how we react to them can significantly affect our mental and emotional well-being.

Often, we’re harsh on ourselves when we fail. We berate ourselves, indulge in negative self-talk, and sometimes, even give up. But what if we showed ourselves the same kindness we give to others during such times?

Buddhist teachings emphasize the importance of self-compassion and kindness.

They remind us that everyone makes mistakes – it’s part of being human. Instead of dwelling on our failures, Buddhism encourages us to learn from them and move forward.

Psychology agrees with this approach. Research has shown that treating oneself with kindness after a failure can reduce feelings of inadequacy and increase motivation for self-improvement.

4) When interacting with strangers

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to overlook the strangers we interact with daily.

From the barista who makes your morning coffee to the random passerby on the street, these brief encounters often seem insignificant.

But turning a mindful eye towards these interactions can change that entirely.

Mindfulness teaches us to live in the present moment and pay attention to our actions.

By applying this principle, even our briefest interactions can become meaningful and impactful.

From a psychological standpoint, showing kindness to strangers can have a ripple effect.

According to studies, acts of kindness towards strangers boost not only their mood but ours as well. It contributes to a sense of community and connectedness, reminding us of our shared humanity.

A simple smile, a polite thank you, or even holding the door open can go a long way. Practicing mindfulness in this way not only brightens their day but yours as well.

5) When teaching or mentoring others

Teaching or mentoring is a rewarding yet challenging experience. It’s an opportunity to impart knowledge, inspire growth, and help others navigate their path.

I’ve been fortunate enough to mentor many individuals throughout my mindfulness journey.

And one of the most important lessons I’ve learnt is that kindness is the cornerstone of effective teaching.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into how Buddhist principles can enrich our lives and relationships. One of the key concepts I discuss is the importance of compassion and kindness, especially when guiding others.

A supportive and empathetic teaching style fosters a better learning environment. It encourages students to engage, take risks, and ultimately, learn more effectively.

6) When facing your fears

We all have fears. Whether it’s fear of failure, rejection, or even the unknown, these feelings can often hold us back from reaching our full potential.

Facing our fears is a daunting task. It requires courage, determination, and above all, kindness towards ourselves.

Mindfulness teaches us to confront our fears with open curiosity rather than avoidance. It encourages us to acknowledge our fears, understand them, and gradually let them go.

In Buddhism, fear is seen as an illusion that hinders our path to enlightenment. Kindness and compassion towards oneself are powerful tools in dismantling these illusions.

Self-kindness when dealing with fear has been linked to lower levels of anxiety and greater emotional resilience.

Show yourself compassion as you would to a dear friend. Recognize that it’s okay to be afraid and that overcoming fear is a journey, one that requires patience and kindness at every step.

7) When dealing with loss or grief

Loss and grief are universal experiences, but ones we never truly get accustomed to.

Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or even the loss of a job, these experiences can leave us feeling empty and overwhelmed.

In such times, kindness towards oneself and others can be a powerful balm for the soul.

Mindfulness teachings emphasize being present with your feelings, no matter how difficult they may be. It encourages us to approach our grief with kindness and patience, giving ourselves the space to heal.

Buddhist wisdom also addresses the impermanence of life and how understanding this can help us navigate through loss.

As the famous Buddhist monk, Pema Chödrön, said: “Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.”

8) When celebrating success

Success is a joyous occasion, one that’s usually met with celebration and excitement. But have you ever considered the role of kindness in these moments?

It may seem counterintuitive, but practicing mindfulness and kindness during our victories is just as important as during our struggles.

Mindfulness encourages us to remain present and grounded, even amidst success. It reminds us to celebrate without losing sight of our journey and the people who helped us along the way.

Being kind during these times involves acknowledging and appreciating the collective effort behind our success. It encourages us to share our victories with others, fostering a sense of community and gratitude.

Celebrating success with kindness and gratitude enhances our satisfaction and overall happiness. It also strengthens our relationships and fosters a positive environment.

Final thoughts

In conclusion, kindness is more than just a nice gesture; it’s a powerful tool that can transform our lives and the lives of those around us.

If you wish to delve deeper into the transformative powers of kindness and other Buddhist principles, I invite you to check out my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego.

It offers a comprehensive guide on how to incorporate these teachings into your everyday life.