The most any child can ask for is a loving and caring home where they are taught the lessons and values they need to enter the world. 

Have you raised a child who can say that?

Drawing on the insights of psychology, let’s take a look at the key signs that you’ve raised a kid with outstanding core values. 

This child is ready to face life’s ups and downs with clear eyes and a strong heart. 

They have the moral lessons and support to face the times when life gets confusing and tough. 

Let’s dive in.

1) They’re kind to others

There’s no replacement for kindness, and a child who was raised well is full of it. 

They are empathetic to others and know to be patient and kind whenever possible. 

They have been raised to try their best to make the world a better place and to contribute positively to the society around them. 

As educational psychologist John D. Rich, Jr., PhD. writes: “There is a high value placed on acting in ways that can make the world a better place, influence other people in positive ways, and leave a legacy that is positively enduring.”

2) They’re honest

Honesty is a crucial value for a high-value adult who contributes to society. 

Children who are raised with great values are consistently honest and understand the importance of telling the truth. 

They act with integrity and with consideration for others because you raised them to do so and explained to them that the feelings and experiences of other people matter. 

This breeds empathy and leads them to being truthful in a way that respects others. 

3) They respect boundaries

The next key sign that a child has been raised with firm values is that they respect boundaries. 

When somebody says no (whatever the context), they hear it and listen. 

They aren’t just respectful because it’s expected or because they fear getting in trouble if they are pushy or aggressive:

They’re respectful because of valuing reciprocity. 

They know that if they want others to respect their limits and boundaries, they have to live in such a way that also extends that courtesy to those around them. 

“A consequence of having empathy is the ability to look at life from another person’s perspective,” notes Rich.

4) They’re generous to others

Well-raised kids give more than they take. 

When it comes to their time, energy and resources, they do their best to be a net asset instead of a net drain in any situation. 

They aren’t afraid to ask for help and get what they need, of course:

But their overall orientation is one of giving and seeing what they can add, rather than being focused on what they can gain. 

This makes them highly valued in both a personal and professional context. 

5) They own up to their mistakes

Accountability is another core value that shows you’ve raised a kid who’s going to make the world a better place. 

You have encouraged introspection and self-awareness in your child, encouraging them to be honest with themselves.

In such a way, you have taught them that admitting to a mistake is not shameful or “bad” and that it is, instead, the opposite which is true:

Hiding wrongdoing or trying to present a perfect appearance and surface to cover up mistakes is what does even deeper damage. 

They have taken this lesson to heart, and hold themselves accountable when they mess up. 

6) They persevere through hard times

Children grow up with their primary needs hopefully being met by you as a parent when they can’t look after themselves. 

But as they gain physical and emotional independence, they learn to navigate some of the rough patches on their own. 

This is where you instill the value of perseverance and not giving up when times are tough. 

The core of this shines through in your child’s understanding of their own innate value.

You have helped instill in them a rock-solid grasp that their value doesn’t depend on anybody else and comes from inside. 

And it all starts with you as a parent.

“Parents can pass on a lack of self-worth if they don’t model it for their children. Many people walk around fighting the old negative message of ‘I am not good enough,’” points out family therapist Karyl McBride, PhD.

This ties into the following crucial value:

7) They don’t depend on extrinsic values or validation

When you’ve raised a child with excellent values, they don’t depend on others to validate them or to tell them what’s right and wrong. 

In other words, you have taught them how to read their own moral compass and not to depend on anything external for their sense of worth. 

Whether this depends on religious, spiritual or personal philosophical beliefs you have passed on, the effect is that your child doesn’t look to extrinsic judgments or approval to get a sense of their own worth or to rubber stamp their decisions. 

“Extrinsic values depend on external reward and recognition from others, whereas intrinsic values depend on feelings of personal satisfaction that come from one’s self rather than requiring others to make a judgment,” explains Grusec.

8) They exhibit self-control

When you’ve raised your child right, they’re able to exercise significant self-control. 

This means they are able and willing to delay gratification.

The benefits of such a trait are enormous:

It means that in their job they will be able to set and work towards long-term goals that end up delivering far more satisfaction and wealth.

In their personal life they will be able to be true to themselves and rise to their full potential instead of going for quick fixes or cheap thrills that can quickly lead to unhealthy behaviors and habits. 

9) They are fair to others and sportsmanlike

Fairness is a crucial value that some kids aren’t taught. 

But unlike parents who tell their kids to do whatever it takes to win, you’ve emphasized the value of treating others with respect and sportsmanship. 

They have taken the lesson to heart and are able to engage in perspective-taking where they consider the views and experiences of others. 

“A consequence of having empathy is the ability to look at life from another person’s perspective,” notes Rich.

This makes their relationships and every area of their life much richer and more authentic. 

10) They’re grateful for their blessings and not entitled

Gratitude is a concept that gets a lot of buzz in New Age spirituality and self-help blogs, and sometimes it can be overdone in a performative way. 

But real gratitude does exist and should never be underestimated. 

Kids who are raised well are taught to keep in mind that they aren’t any better than anybody else and that life takes a lot of hard work.

“It is important to teach kids that they are not better than the next person and that they do not deserve more than others,” notes McBride. “They should feel loved and cherished, but not be taught that they are superior to others.”

11) They are humble and seek to improve

This ties into the previous point, in that children who are raised well are humble. 

They know their own strengths and don’t try to “play small,” but at the same time they always leave room to grow and to keep exploring. 

They’re dynamic and on a journey that takes them in all sorts of new directions and in challenging their preconceptions and any self-imposed limits. 

They appreciate what they have and are always working to improve and learn more. 

Therapist Joan E. Grusec PhD., puts it well: “Being trustworthy, cooperative, helpful, and making sure that all people are treated fairly are good ways to avoid conflict and promote peaceful coexistence.”

12) They’re courageous 

Life can be very unfair and hard, as we all know. 

A crucial sign that you’ve raised a good kid is that you have taught them to be brave in the face of life’s injustices and tragedies. 

This strength will serve them well. 

You have done your best to model behaviors in yourself that you hope they will also adopt, and have done your part to be an example for them. 

As Rich observes: “Our children are the most honest reflections of ourselves that we have. Many of their fears are our fears; their weaknesses look like our weaknesses; their strengths have been fortified by our own strengths.”

Raising a good kid

Raising a good child is no easy task. 

And it’s crucial to know where you stand as a parent. 

“What is important to you, what do you believe in, what do you want to teach your children, what kind of human being do you want to raise?” asks McBride.

It’s true:

There are all sorts of obstacles and expected and unexpected speed bumps on the journey of life. 

But if your child has the traits in the article above, then they are making an excellent start in this world.