10 signs you’ve finally healed from a broken heart, according to psychology

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | June 18, 2024, 10:17 am

Healing from a broken heart can be a long, tough journey. But one day, you’ll wake up and realize you’ve finally moved on.

Psychology provides us some clues and indicators that show us we’re truly healing. These aren’t just random signs – they’re based on human behavior and emotional patterns.

Keep reading to figure out!

1) You’re embracing solitude

After a breakup, you might miss the companionship and the shared experiences. But there comes a time in the healing process when you start enjoying your own company.

Being comfortable with solitude is a sign of emotional maturity and healing. It means you’re no longer reliant on someone else for your happiness, but finding joy in your own existence.

Famed psychologist Carl Jung once said:

“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not.

“It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person–without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other.”

2) Memories no longer trigger intense emotions

There was a time when a simple song on the radio, a familiar scent, or just a random memory would send me spiralling into a world of sadness and longing.

But one day, I realized those memories no longer held power over me. They became just that – memories. Not painful reminders of what was lost, but neutral recollections of a past chapter.

A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that 71% of participants started to see their breakup in a positive light after about 11 weeks. They reported feeling less intensely about their ex and were able to recall memories without being overwhelmed by emotions.

3) You’re excited about the future

You start seeing the future as a realm of possibilities and opportunities, not as a reminder of what you’ve lost.

This change in outlook is a significant step in the healing process. As renowned psychologist Dr. Wayne Dyer once said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

4) You’ve regained your self-esteem

A broken heart can leave you with a shattered self-esteem. But as you heal, you start gaining back your confidence.

The renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

As your perception of yourself changes from someone who’s been rejected or hurt to someone who is resilient and deserving of love, it’s a clear sign that you’re healing.

5) You’re open to new relationships

Following a heartbreak, it’s natural to want to protect yourself from potential hurt by keeping others at arm’s length. 

A study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology showed that individuals who had emotionally recovered from their heartbreak were more willing to consider starting new relationships. They viewed new romantic prospects not as threats, but as opportunities for happiness.

6) You’re focusing on self-improvement

 Instead of dwelling on the past relationship, you start focusing on yourself and your own growth.

Famous psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.” This quote emphasizes the importance of personal growth and development.

7) You’re forgiving and letting go

Holding onto resentment and anger can keep you stuck in the pain of a broken heart. But as you heal, you’ll find yourself more inclined to forgive, not just your ex, but also yourself.

Study published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that forgiveness is associated with lower levels of stress and improved mental health outcomes. The process of forgiving allows you to let go of harmful emotions and move forward.

8) You’re not afraid to be vulnerable again

After a heartbreak, it’s natural to build walls around your heart to protect yourself from getting hurt again.

As the highly regarded psychologist and author Brené Brown said, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

If you find yourself willing to open up, share your feelings, and risk being vulnerable again, it’s a clear sign that you’ve healed from your broken heart.

9) You’re experiencing a renewed sense of hope

Heartbreak can often leave us feeling hopeless, like we’ll never find love or happiness again. However, as we heal, this sense of despair is replaced with a renewed sense of hope.

A study from the Journal of Positive Psychology found that individuals who have recovered from heartbreak reported feeling a stronger sense of hope and optimism about their future.

This shift in mindset was found to positively impact not only their emotional well-being but also their overall life satisfaction.

10) You’re practicing gratitude

The pain of a broken heart can often overshadow the good in our lives. 

The renowned psychologist and Holocaust survivor, Dr. Viktor Frankl, once said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” This can be interpreted as shifting our focus from our losses to appreciating what we still have.

It shows that you’ve changed your perspective, focusing more on positivity and growth rather than dwelling on past hurts.