Sometimes, we just can’t shake off certain feelings. That special someone catches your eye, but maybe they don’t see you the same way. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but recognizing it can be empowering.

As a relationship expert and the founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve seen this happen over and over. It’s important to spot the signs early to avoid unnecessary heartache.

In this article, we’ll look at seven clear signs that you might be into someone who doesn’t feel the same. These insights come from years of experience, a bit of psychology, and a whole lot of worldly wisdom.

Ready? Let’s dive in. 

1) You’re always initiating

It’s a classic sign in the vast world of human relationships: you’re the one always reaching out, making plans, and keeping the conversation going.

If you find yourself constantly initiating contact—whether it’s a text, a call, or planning an outing—it might be a sign that you’re more invested in the relationship than the other person.

Wanting to spend time with someone you’re attracted to is natural. But if that desire is a one-way street, it could be a signal that your feelings aren’t reciprocated.

While tough to accept, understanding this dynamic can save you from unnecessary pain and confusion. Remember, a balanced relationship involves effort from both sides.

2) You feel content when they’re just around

Sometimes, our profound attraction to someone manifests in subtle ways. For instance, simply being near them can bring a profound sense of comfort and contentment, even without direct interaction.

Just knowing they’re in the room might satisfy you, and their mere presence could bring about a calming effect. However, this doesn’t always indicate mutual connection; it could mean your feelings have intensified while theirs remain unchanged.

Your attraction might have reached a point where their mere presence affects your emotional state. Being drawn to someone is a thrilling experience, but it can be painful if it’s one-sided. 

3) You rationalize their behavior

In the throes of attraction, we sometimes find ourselves making excuses for the person we’re drawn to. We tend to overlook their shortcomings or justify their actions when they don’t meet our expectations.

Maybe they don’t return your calls or texts promptly, and you tell yourself they’re just “busy.” Or perhaps they cancel plans at the last minute, and you quickly forgive them, believing their reasons without a second thought. 

This is a common sign that your attraction might be one-sided. It’s a topic I delve into in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

This behavior often stems from a place of fear – fear of confronting the reality that the feelings may not be reciprocated.

It’s hard but necessary to acknowledge these patterns and work towards breaking the cycle of one-sided love.

4) You’re overly concerned with their opinion

When you’re attracted to someone, it’s natural to value their opinion. But if you find yourself too invested in what they think, even about matters unrelated to them, it could be a sign of unrequited attraction.

You might catch yourself seeking their approval, changing your choices or behavior based on what you think they would prefer. Their opinion seems to matter more than your own or those of people closer to you.

Over-reliance on someone else’s opinion can signal a disproportionate emotional investment. Always remember to value your own judgment and maintain your individuality. A healthy attraction should enhance your life, not overshadow it.

5) You feel anxious when they’re not around

It’s a feeling that creeps up on you, a gnawing sense of unease when they’re not around. You find yourself constantly checking your phone, hoping for a text or call from them, or worrying about what they might be doing without you.

This anxiety is more than just missing someone; it’s a sign that your emotional well-being is becoming tied to their presence in your life.

I’ve seen this happen many times, both professionally and personally. It can be incredibly difficult to differentiate between genuine care and unhealthy dependence.

Sure, it’s normal to miss someone you’re attracted to, feeling anxious without them indicates an imbalance. For your happiness and mental health, it’s essential to find contentment within yourself, independent of anyone else.

6) You’re willing to compromise your values

Attraction can be a powerful force, and sometimes, it can lead us to behave in ways we wouldn’t usually. When you find yourself willing to compromise your values to please them, it’s a clear sign of one-sided attraction.

Over time, I’ve learned that authentic connections are built on mutual respect for each other’s values and principles. If you feel the need to change yourself to fit their mold, it’s time to step back and reevaluate.

The great poet Maya Angelou once said, “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” Compromising your values for someone who doesn’t appreciate you for who you are can lead to feelings of resentment and low self-esteem.

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7) They’re always on your mind

Sometimes, the most obvious signs are the ones we’re most reluctant to acknowledge. If they’re always on your mind to the point where it’s hard to focus on anything else, it’s a glaring signal of a one-sided attraction.

You might find yourself daydreaming about them, thinking about what they’re doing, or replaying past conversations in your head. It’s as if your mind is a stage and they’re the star of the show.

Keep in mind: There’s a line between healthy attraction and obsession. If your thoughts are constantly consumed by one person, it might be time to face the harsh truth: your feelings may not be reciprocated.

Unrequited attraction: When your heart’s GPS needs a recalibration

 Navigating the intricate maze of human emotions can be challenging, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Recognizing unrequited attraction is not an easy task, but it’s crucial for emotional well-being.

Awareness can be the first step towards healing and growth. Acknowledging that you might be attracted to someone who doesn’t feel the same way is a tough pill to swallow, but it opens up a path to eventual acceptance and moving on.

To further explore these themes, I’d like to share an insightful video by Justin Brown. He delves into the complexities of finding a life partner, reflecting on his personal experiences and the lessons he learned.

This video complements our discussion and provides additional perspective on the journey of understanding and navigating your feelings.

Remember, feeling attracted to someone who doesn’t reciprocate is not a reflection of your worth. As I always say, “Fall in love with yourself first. The right person will meet you there.”