Everybody wants to be liked. It’s human nature. In the same vein, we like to be around people who are pleasant, don’t we? 

In this article, we will be focusing on eight signs that show you’re really pleasant to be around, according to psychology concepts. 

In here, maybe you’ll see what traits you already have that you can strengthen and what you can try to adopt and develop.

1) You’re empathetic

Empathy, or being empathetic, is understanding somebody else’s point of view and moreover, having the ability to imagine oneself in their place.

Perhaps the key to being empathetic is knowing how to truly listen. When you listen, you try to make sense of the words you hear; you actually wish to understand (this is sometimes called active listening).

Listening helps you become more interested in other people, not in a nosy way, but in a way that you want to understand their experiences. Compassion and connection then follow.

When you don’t listen to others (or when others fail to listen to you), it may leave them–or you–feeling that they aren’t valued and they’re lonely.

You may be empathetic when people approach you with their problems and ask for your advice; you can often sense what people are feeling; you’re truly saddened by tragic events; or you feel drained or overwhelmed in some social situations.

According to psychology, empathy helps you make connections with others, regulate your own emotions, and encourages helpful behavior–not just you towards others, but others towards you.

2) Animals like you

Have you ever been out one day and had young children with their mothers wave or smile at you, or else have a dog with his owner wag his tail and sniff you?

Have you ever been at peace and calm with animals and got the sense that they felt the same too?

If that sounds familiar, it may be a sign you’re really pleasant to be around.

While the science isn’t fully worked out (not yet at least), there is some body of evidence to support the idea that animals can get a sense of who you are. 

One particular study shows dogs can recognize human emotions by consolidating information from different senses. The way they respond to us may not just be learned behaviors.

The study found that they can form “abstract mental representations of positive and negative emotional states.”

Researcher Kun Guo of the University of Lincoln’s School of Psychology reports that in their study, dogs exhibited a type of cognitive ability only seen heretofore in primates and humans.

The paper’s co-author, Prof. Daniel Mills of the university’s School of Life Sciences added that their findings “are the first to show that dogs truly recognize emotions in humans and other dogs.”

He added that the dogs didn’t receive any training beforehand, suggesting that the ability to combine emotional cues could be innate.

While what dogs and other animals perceive or perhaps think about when they encounter you can only be guessed, an educated one may be that they can sense your pleasant qualities.

3) You’re down-to-earth

Anyone who’s not living under a rock knows who Serena Williams is. And if you don’t, well, she’s dubbed one of the tennis world’s GOAT (Greatest of All Time), winning 23 Grand Slams, more than any other person–male or female–during tennis’ open era.

Such achievements are indeed something to be proud of, but you might be surprised to find that she’s anything but. In fact, since giving birth to her first child in 2017, she’s actually been more relatable than ever.

As a first-time mom, she shared in an Instagram post last 2018: “Whether stay-at-home or working, finding that balance with kids is a true art. You are the true heroes.

She added: “I’m here to say: if you are having a rough day or week–it’s ok–I am, too!!!”

Being down-to-earth, being relatable, is one sign you’re really pleasant to be around.

When you are down-to-earth, you are usually humble and approachable. You don’t go around boasting your accomplishments–no matter how impressive. You’re not perfect; nobody is.

You go through the same challenges and motions as everybody else. You too, acknowledge you’re part of a community.

Think about it: doesn’t it feel good to be around someone who you can identify with and vice versa?

4) You take a genuine interest in others

In successful relationships, being genuinely interested in another is essential. 

Having genuine interest in others helps you form bonds based on authenticity. When you’re curious, you ask about them and encourage them to open up to you. 

When you do this, you help them feel a sense of belonging, a sense that they’re seen and heard. YOU become their safe space.

Genuine interest also helps build trust: getting to know someone takes time, and trust is built over time. 

It also helps you develop empathy for others. When you see things from their perspective, you understand better how their current situations or trials might be affecting them. What’s more, you care.

If you show genuine interest in others, like being truly present (e.g., turning your phone off when speaking with them; making eye contact), remembering details, and asking them open-ended questions, then it’s a sign you’re really pleasant to be around.

5) You show respect for everyone

When we talk about respect in this context, we’re not talking about just being courteous.

It includes, but is not limited to, just saying “please” and “thank you” and opening doors for people, and the like.

It’s more about seeing the other as a person–with thoughts, feelings, and innate worth. It’s the foundation of healthy relationships.

Listening, observing boundaries, supporting their aspirations, not talking badly about them to others, and keeping their confidence, are just some of the ways that you show respect.

If you do these things, that may be a sign that you’re really pleasant to be around.

6) You’re open-minded

Being open-minded means willing to imagine a point of view, belief, or course of action other than your own or one that you are used to.

It’s being able to take an impartial stand based on available evidence. When you are open-minded, you’re less susceptible to manipulation or suggestion.

You are “open” when you’re able to listen to others expressing their own beliefs and opinions, even if you don’t agree.

Being “open” also exercises your ability to empathize and be respectful.

Take note, though, that just because you are open-minded doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything.

What being open-minded entails, however, means that you try to understand how others’ convictions came to be.

Signs of open-mindedness include being curious about others’ thoughts, accepting their ideas challenged, and listening to what others have to say, to name a few.

7) You have a sense of humor

Laughter is a powerful thing. They say it’s the best medicine, and there may be more to that adage than meets the eye.

It has psychological benefits, like lifting one’s mood, alleviating depression, anxiety, and stress.

Even babies under a year old appreciate humor, according to what is called the Early Humor Survey (EHS).

Their findings showed that there was a “consistent and age-related” pattern in terms of when humor became evident.

Humor also helps defuse stressful situations by bringing about positive feelings. It also increases feelings of social support as well as a greater capacity to rethink undesirable situations.

Moreover, in social settings, it can strengthen existing bonds and form new ones. 

8) You’re able to regulate your emotions

I dug around a bit and discovered a concept called affective presence: the effect one has regardless of a person’s own feelings.

Positive affective presence makes people feel good, even if a person with a positive affective presence is feeling anything but positive.

Two psychology experts and researchers Noah Eisenkraft and Hillary Anger Elfenbein discovered this. 

They tested on business school students whom they put in several groups, the members of which would take all the same classes and work together for a semester.

At the end of the semester, they asked participants to rate how much each of the other members made them feel the following: stressed, bored, angry, sad, calm, relaxed, happy, and enthusiastic.

They found that much of what the participants felt was due to their peers’ affective presence.

According to Elfenbein, “Our own way of being has an emotional signature.”

As expected, people who make others feel good are more vital to their social networks.

In a workplace setting, a study saw that leaders who have good affective presence foster teams that have better communication, resulting in more innovation.

And a big part of affective presence is how people regulate their own and others’ emotions. Being able to “smooth over the noise in your life”, no matter what comes along.

Final thoughts

While this list points out some characteristics of a really pleasant person, it’s worth noting that there’s more that can be done to develop such a personality.

Take note as well that the journey to nurturing some of these traits or skills could be long, but, as the saying goes, “Nothing worth doing ever comes easy.”