9 signs you’re not a difficult person, you just set high standards for yourself

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | September 6, 2024, 2:40 pm

There’s a fine line between being difficult and having high standards for yourself.

Often, people mistake one for the other, leaving you feeling misunderstood.

Just because you expect the best from yourself and others doesn’t mean you’re hard to get along with. It simply means you value quality and aren’t willing to settle for less.

In this article, I’m going to show you 9 signs that prove you’re not a “difficult” person – you just have high standards for yourself.

1) You’re not demanding, you’re detail-oriented

There’s a big misconception that people with high standards are just being demanding.

But, there’s a difference between demanding something and being detail-oriented.

You see, folks who have high standards for themselves often pay attention to the minor details in any task or project.

So if you often find yourself double-checking your work or others’, remember – you’re not being difficult. You’re just committed to excellence and that, my friend, is a good thing!

Just be sure to communicate your expectations clearly to avoid any misunderstandings.

2) You don’t accept mediocrity, you strive for excellence

Let me share a personal story with you.

A few years ago, I was working on a project with a team. The deadline was tight and everyone was rushing to get things done. But, I wasn’t satisfied with the quality of work we were producing. It wasn’t up to my usual standard.

I remember calling for a meeting, expressing my concerns and suggesting that we put in a little extra time to improve the outcome. Many saw it as being difficult and causing unnecessary delays.

But here’s the thing: I wasn’t being difficult – I was refusing to settle for mediocrity. I knew we could do better, and I was willing to put in the extra effort to achieve excellence.

Having high standards means striving for excellence, even when it’s easier to settle for ‘good enough’. 

3) You’re not inflexible, you’re consistent

Consistency is key in many areas of life, particularly when it comes to maintaining high standards. Some people may mistake this for being inflexible or stubborn.

However, one of the key attributes of successful leaders is consistency. Leaders who are consistent in their actions, values, and methods are more likely to earn the trust and respect of their team.

So if you’re someone who insists on maintaining the same level of quality across your work, you’re not being difficult.

Instead, you’re demonstrating a level of consistency that’s often seen in successful leaders. Keep in mind though, it’s important to strike a balance and know when flexibility is needed.

4) You’re not critical, you’re constructive

There’s a difference between being critical and offering constructive feedback.

Those who have high standards for themselves often apply the same standards to others as well.

This means they may offer advice or feedback that is meant to help others improve.

However, it’s crucial to ensure that your feedback is presented in a supportive and helpful way, rather than simply pointing out flaws or problems.

5) You’re not a perfectionist, you’re committed to quality

Perfectionism often gets a bad rap, and it’s sometimes confused with having high standards. However, there’s a key difference.

People with high standards strive for quality and excellence, while perfectionists often get hung up on minute details and struggle when things aren’t flawless.

If you’re someone who takes pride in your work and always aims for the best possible outcome, you’re not being difficult – you’re showing your commitment to quality. 

Keep striving for that quality output, but remember not to let the pursuit of perfection hinder your progress.

6) You’re not stubborn, you’re passionate

Passion is a powerful thing. It fuels our determination and drives us to go the extra mile in our pursuits.

Sometimes, people may misinterpret this passion as stubbornness.

You know, when we just won’t back down from something we wholeheartedly believe in?

But it’s not about being unyielding or difficult, it’s about standing your ground for what you believe is right – be it a cause, a project or an idea.

7) You’re not a control freak, you take responsibility

There was a time in my life when I was leading a project that was particularly close to my heart. I found myself wanting to oversee every single detail.

Some of my team members felt I was being too controlling, but for me, it was about taking responsibility.

Having high standards often means taking ownership and ensuring things are done correctly. However, it’s essential to trust your team and delegate tasks efficiently.

It’s crucial to set and meet your standards, but remember that collaboration and trust in your team are equally important.

8) You’re not unsociable, you value meaningful relationships

People who set high standards for themselves often also set high standards for their relationships.

They prefer fewer, more meaningful connections over a large number of surface-level friendships.

This might sometimes come across as being unsociable or distant, but it’s just about choosing quality over quantity.

But remember, you’re not difficult or unsociable; you simply value authenticity and depth in your relationships. It’s the quality of your connections that matters, not the quantity.

9) You’re not hard to please, you respect your worth

The most important thing to remember is this: having high standards doesn’t mean you’re hard to please. It means you understand and respect your worth.

You know what you bring to the table and you’re not afraid to expect the same level of commitment, effort, and quality from others.

This isn’t being difficult; it’s acknowledging your worth and setting boundaries accordingly.

So continue to embrace who you are and uphold those high standards. After all, they’re part of what makes you, you.

In conclusion: It’s about self-worth

The essence of setting high standards for yourself is deeply intertwined with your sense of self-worth.

A quote by Steve Jobs comes to mind: “When you’re a carpenter making a beautiful chest of drawers, you’re not going to use a piece of plywood on the back, even though it faces the wall and nobody will see it. You’ll know it’s there, so you’re going to use a beautiful piece of wood on the back.”

This is what having high standards means. It’s about taking pride in your work and ensuring excellence, even in areas that others might not see.

It’s important to remember that setting high standards doesn’t make you difficult; it makes you dedicated. It’s an indication of your commitment to quality, your passion for excellence, and above all, your respect for yourself.

So, continue to set those high standards for yourself. Know your worth, demand respect and never settle for less than you deserve. After all, as Jobs said – you’ll know it’s there.