Emotional intelligence (EQ) and emotional maturity are increasingly being recognized by psychology and the social sciences as a crucial part of a fulfilling and successful life. 

Those with high emotional maturity are able to navigate the challenges of work, relationships and daily life with more tools in their toolbox. 

They also have a unique set of sensitivities and vulnerabilities that can overwhelm them if not managed well. 

Let’s take a look at the signs you may be one of those individuals with a higher EQ and emotional maturity than the average person, as well as what it means. 

1) You’re keenly self-aware

You’re highly self-aware and know what drives you and what scares you. 

This comes naturally to you without much effort: you know what makes you tick, and you have a deep understanding of your own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and triggers.

This is a key part of emotional maturity and gives you the advantage of being sure about your purpose, but it can also be a burden in terms of being more self-critical and hard on yourself. 

As psychology writer Elizabeth Perry notes:

“If you’re highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behavior with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you.”

2) You own up to your own mistakes

You take responsibility for your actions and don’t try to focus on who else is to blame. 

You own your share in whatever went wrong and don’t feel a hit to your ego when you admit to being wrong. 

This ability to own up to your mistakes and learn from them is a core part of emotional maturity:

You’d rather improve than “win” every fight. 

3) You show empathy toward others

You demonstrate empathy towards others, and you really do care about their wellbeing. 

You’re emotionally mature enough to look after yourself first, but you’re also able to understand what others are going through and support them. 

This strengthens your professional and personal relationships in every way. 

“While many regard empathy as a soft skill, true leaders see the power inside of deeper understanding – and deeply value the ability to continually access empathy, now more than ever,” notes psychology researcher Chris Westfall.

“At its core, empathy is about understanding: being able to see the world from another person’s viewpoint.” 

4) You can manage your own emotions

You’re able to manage your emotions effectively and to not respond immediately to your instincts. 

Even when you feel angry, sad, confused, happy, turned on or any other strong reaction, you try to think it over before reacting right away. 

This emotional maturity has the benefit of being in charge of your own actions rather than having them be instinctive offshoots of your feelings. 

It’s a level of self-control over emotions that many individuals don’t have.

5) You don’t chase perfection

You understand that nobody is perfect, including yourself, and you don’t expect perfection. 

You’re living in the real world in which you try to improve and aim high, but you never focus or obsess over perfection in yourself or other people. 

This allows you to treat people and situations realistically and with reasonable demands, and it also allows you to take risks and try new things without being hung up on past disappointments or shortcomings. 

As psychology professor Robert L. Leahy recounts:

“I have seen many perfectionists who ruminate about their past “shortcomings” and seldom give themselves credit for the positives that they do. 

As a result, they fear ‘failure’ so much that they won’t risk trying something new and challenging.”

6) You are mentally and emotionally resilient

You bounce back quickly from setbacks and failures, trying your best to learn from them. 

If there is nothing to learn from a setback, you still try to let it toughen you up and teach you patience. 

You’ve been through enough in life to know that many situations and dark times that feel like they will never end will one day pass. 

You have patience and emotional maturity about your struggles, doing your best never to give up completely on holding a shred of hope for the future. 

7) You’re open-minded about new ideas and perspectives

You’re open to new ideas, perspectives, and experiences, and you are comfortable hearing about things you disagree with. 

Your friends don’t necessarily align with you politically, spiritually or in other ways and you actually enjoy being around folks of all persuasions. 

You aren’t threatened by somebody disagreeing with you as long as they don’t make it personal or launch ad hominem attacks on you. 

New ideas don’t threaten you, they just excite you and broaden your mind, especially those you don’t agree with. 

8) You set healthy boundaries and stick to them

You’re able to set healthy boundaries in your relationships and at work, and you stick to them.

This allows you to respect both your own needs and the needs of others, and it builds more respect for you at work and in your relationships. 

People know that you mean what you say and that you have your limits, and this level of emotional maturity leads to an overall better life in almost every way. 

“Healthy boundaries are limits you set around your time, emotions, psychological energy, and physical space and body to protect yourself from feeling drained by others in your life,” observes clinical psychologist Rubin Khoddam, Ph.D.

“For instance, a healthy boundary at work may be saying no to a project that would cause you to work late and would interfere with self-care and a work-life balance.”

This ties into the next point: 

9) You’re a clear communicator who makes your needs known

You’re skilled at communicating your thoughts, feelings, and needs effectively and respectfully.

You say what you mean and mean what you say. 

This just comes naturally to you, and it’s no big deal. 

But it indicates a high degree of emotional maturity, because you don’t mince words or pretend to be anything you’re not. 

You speak up if you’re uncomfortable, you let friends and family know that you love them, you open up in a relationship when you’re feeling neglected. 

You’re emotionally mature enough to translate your inner world into the world around you in an effective and compelling way. 

10) You’re willing to delay gratification

You’re able to delay immediate gratification for long-term goals.

You have patience and perseverance where others will often just go for the quick hit or payoff in business, life, sex, love and many other areas. 

The upside is that you tend to have much better long-term life satisfaction. 

The downside is that you sometimes may get a sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) when others are partying it up and living life just for the moment. 

“Delaying gratification means prioritizing a long-term goal over an immediately achievable one. 

Resisting the temptation of instant gratification can yield significant benefits that outweigh the challenges,” explains psychosocial rehabilitation specialist and psychology educator Kendra Cherry Ms.Ed.

11) You’re able to approach conflicts constructively

You handle conflicts constructively whenever possible instead of letting your ego get involved. 

You seek solutions that benefit both parties rather than resorting to aggression or avoidance.

If there is any common ground to be found, you find it.

If there’s been a miscommunication, you do your best to work through it and understand where your wires got crossed. 

And if that’s not a possibility then you stand up for yourself without being overly confrontational.

12) You remain flexible in the face of change

You’re flexible and adaptable in the face of change, and you do your best to roll with the punches. 

Your emotional maturity shows through when faced with change and situations that are out of your control. 

You do your best to work through painful emotions and experiences without allowing it to take over all your mental space and emotions. 

As licensed marriage and family therapist Nick Bognar notes:

“It’s advantageous to be adaptable because the world is highly unpredictable. 

We often find ourselves in situations where we have little to no control over most of the variables that affect our choices.”

13) You’re willing and able to live and let live

You’re able to forgive yourself and others for past mistakes, which ends up being a huge plus in your life. 

You are far from a doormat, and you don’t let others walk all over you, but you don’t hold grudges. 

You are good at letting go of resentment, which fosters healing and growth.

There are firm lines you draw that you don’t go past or let others cross, but you’re able to allow people to be themselves without having to necessarily agree. 

You look for win-win situations whenever possible. )