Ever feel like you’re doing all the heavy lifting in your relationship while your partner is just along for the ride?

If you’re nodding your head, you might be dating someone who’s more of a taker than a giver.

At first, it’s easy to overlook—love can blind us to the little things. But over time, the imbalance starts to feel like you’re carrying all the emotional weight while they kick back and enjoy the perks.

Sound familiar? Let’s dive into the subtle (and not-so-subtle) signs that your relationship is more one-sided than you’d like to admit.

Here are the eight clues to watch out for.

1) They rarely initiate

In a balanced relationship, both parties should take turns initiating things. This could be anything from planning a date to starting a conversation about how each other’s day went.

But if you find yourself always being the one to start these things, it might be a sign that your partner is taking more than they’re giving.

When one person is always the initiator, it puts an unfair burden on them to keep the relationship moving forward. I

t’s like trying to push a car uphill all by yourself – exhausting, right?

Your partner’s lack of initiative could be a sign that they’re comfortable with you doing all the work. Or worse, they might not be as invested in the relationship as you are.

2) You’re always the one compromising

Relationships involve a certain amount of give and take. It’s all about balance.

Yet, something’s not quite right if you constantly find yourself on the losing end of a compromise.

I remember in one of my earlier relationships, I was always the one adjusting my plans, my preferences, even my values.

It took me a while to realize that this was not normal or healthy.

Compromise is crucial in a relationship, but it should never be a one-way street. 

3) They take advantage of your kindness

Kindness is a beautiful trait, and it can make a relationship bloom. But it can also be exploited by someone who’s not in the relationship for the right reasons.

I used to be that ‘always kind’ person, always ready to help and support my partner, no matter what.

It took me some time to realize that my kindness was being taken for granted.

In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into this topic and provide practical advice on how to handle such situations.

If you’re constantly bending over backward for your partner without getting anything in return, that’s a red flag.

Kindness, similarly to compromising, should never be a one-way street.

You deserve as much kindness as you give out.

4) They’re always there… for the good times

Here’s a counterintuitive sign: your partner is always around during the fun times but seem to disappear when things get tough.

Sounds odd, right? You might think, “But they’re always there for me!” Well, are they there for you, or are they there for the fun?

It’s easy to be present when everything is smooth sailing – when you’re out enjoying dates, parties, or vacations.

But what about when you’re sick, stressed out, or facing a personal crisis?

The true measure of a partner’s commitment isn’t how they act during the good times, but how they stand by you during the bad ones.

5) They’re not interested in your world

Ever been in a conversation where you’re sharing something you’re passionate about, and you realize your partner is simply not interested?

Trust me, I’ve been there, and it’s not a pleasant feeling.

In a balanced relationship, both partners are genuinely interested in each other’s lives, hobbies, interests, dreams, and even the minutiae of their day.

They listen actively and engage in conversations because they care.

Love isn’t just about being physically present.

It’s about emotional availability and genuine interest in each other’s lives. If that’s missing, it may be time to reevaluate.

6) They don’t appreciate your efforts

Here’s a raw, honest truth: If your partner hardly ever acknowledges or appreciates your efforts, they’re taking more than they’re giving.

You might be pulling out all the stops, going above and beyond to make them happy, to keep the relationship afloat.

But if they rarely say thank you or show gratitude, it can feel like you’re pouring your energy into a bottomless pit.

Appreciation is the fuel that keeps love burning. It’s a small gesture that goes a long way in making a person feel seen, valued, and loved.

So if your efforts are met with indifference or taken for granted, it’s not just hurtful—it’s a clear sign of imbalance in your relationship.

7) They’re inattentive to your needs

I remember dating someone who always seemed oblivious to my needs. It was as if I had to spell everything out for them, which was both exasperating and hurtful.

In a relationship, being attentive to your partner’s needs is not a bonus—it’s a requirement.

It shows that you care about their happiness and well-being, and you’re willing to make efforts to meet their needs.

But if your partner continually disregards your needs or makes little effort to fulfil them, it’s an unmistakable sign they’re taking more than they’re giving.

As the acclaimed author and motivational speaker, Tony Robbins wisely said, “The secret to living is giving.” If your partner can’t comprehend this fundamental truth, they might not be the right one for you.

8) They make you feel guilty for their mistakes

Let’s be brutally honest here: If your partner messes up and somehow turns it around to make you feel guilty, that’s not just unfair—it’s manipulative.

In a healthy relationship, both parties should be able to admit their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions.

But if your partner constantly shifts the blame onto you, they’re taking more than they’re giving.

It’s a form of emotional manipulation that can leave you feeling confused and guilty for things you haven’t done.

This behavior is not only toxic but also detrimental to your self-esteem.

Final thoughts

If you’ve recognized even a few of these signs in your relationship, it might be time to ask yourself a tough question: are you with someone who truly values you, or are they just benefiting from your generosity?

For more guidance on how to navigate such situations, I invite you to check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It’s packed with practical advice on how to establish healthier relationship dynamics.

Relationships are about give and take, not a one-way street where you’re left feeling drained while your partner coasts along.

Remember, you deserve someone who’s just as invested in you as you are in them.

So, take a step back, reassess the balance, and don’t be afraid to put your needs first.

The right relationship should leave you feeling supported, not depleted.