7 signs you’re in a relationship with a really good woman, according to psychology

People say that relationships are hard work. And they’re right.
However, the kind of work you do depends a great deal on how kind and emotionally mature both partners are.
If you’re both pretty highly emotionally intelligent, chances are that your conflicts will lead to productive results that bring you closer; if you’re not, every disagreement could turn into an argument that chips away at the relationship’s well-being.
Unfortunately, we all wear rose-tinted glasses sometimes, which means that it takes us some time to recognize whether the person we date is genuinely good for us.
What about you? Are you in a relationship with a really good woman?
Here are the 7 signs that the answer’s yes.
1) She welcomes your vulnerability with open arms
“Being vulnerable creates emotional intimacy and connection,” says Kari Rusnak, a licensed couples counsellor. “Opening yourself to your partner shows and builds trust and helps them understand you on a deeper level.”
The key word here is trust.
A genuinely good woman is someone you can confide in with the certainty that she won’t use your vulnerabilities against you. She’s someone you can trust to hold space for you, to keep an open mind, and to encourage your authentic self-expression.
If you’re a man, you may find it especially difficult to open up due to societal expectations.
This is why it’s all the more important to be in a relationship with a woman who supports your decision to share yourself with her, who makes you feel safe to lay yourself bare, and who shows you love and acceptance when you decide to do so.
2) She understands the importance of effective communication
…and she actively works on her communication skills to ensure you both get through conflicts in one piece.
We’ve all met a passive-aggressive person at one point or another, right? Someone who pouts instead of addressing their feelings, who deals with issues by making mocking remarks, and who can’t for the life of them openly communicate?
Well, a good woman to be in a relationship with is the complete opposite of that. She is all about effective and productive communication, which some psychologists summarize thus:
- She is an active and not defensive listener (that is, she attempts to understand rather than immediately defend her own position)
- She doesn’t dredge up closed matters from the past
- She uses language that doesn’t place blame on the other person but rather attempts to explain how she feels
- She communicates feedback and concerns in a way that brings you closer rather than tear you apart
- She knows how to calm herself down and keep her emotions in check (even if it means taking a break from the conversation at hand)
If that sounds like your partner, congratulations!
It’s the second sign she’s a really good woman.
3) She respects your autonomy
There’s no point pretending romantic relationships aren’t a big deal. They are.
Science agrees. Studies show that our partners have a monumental impact on our physical and mental well-being, which is why it’s even more crucial to choose wisely when picking your significant other.
However, the fact that your partner plays a vital role in your life doesn’t mean they have somehow grown physically attached to you.
It is of the utmost importance that a relationship rests on the perfect balance of working as a team and recognizing that you’re two fully-fledged individuals.
In other words, a woman who makes for an amazing partner will respect your healthy sense of independence while also building her own.
As psychologist Leon F Seltzer says, “Healthy unions require you not just to act for the good of the relationship but for your own good, too.”
From recognizing that you need to socialize with your friends a few times a week to letting you do your thing when it comes to hobbies or passion projects, a really good woman knows she isn’t always the priority.
She knows you are more than just part of a romantic relationship – you are a whole galaxy of stars, and while she is one of the brightest ones, it doesn’t diminish the importance of others.
Of course, she applies that same rule to herself.
4) She inspires you to be a better person
Listen up – this one’s really important.
Want to know what pushed me over the edge and made me break up with my most recent ex?
I heard someone ask, “If other people told you that you were a lot like your partner, would you take it as a compliment?”
The question hit me like a slap in the face. That was when I realized I would not, in fact, take it as a compliment. My ex didn’t inspire me to grow as a person; he didn’t motivate me to go after my goals simply because he never went after his.
His lifestyle dragged me down. And funnily enough, all my close friends fared much better when I asked myself the same question about them.
Now it’s your turn.
Does your partner inspire you? Do you admire her? Do you want to be a better person for her?
Your answer tells you a great deal about the kind of person she is.
5) She stands by your side through thick and thin
It’s pretty easy to get along with someone when you’re both doing great.
The moment times get rough, though… that’s when you truly get to know the other person for who they are.
Does your partner look after you when you’re ill, making sure you don’t have to deal with unnecessary household chores or admin tasks and focus on recovery?
Does she offer emotional support and advice when you need it?
Is she a rock you can lean on? Or do you get the sense that she wouldn’t be able to take the pressure?
Do you openly communicate about your troubles with her or keep them to yourself for fear she’d worry (as she has done in the past)?
These are some very important questions to ask yourself. As you’re moving through life, you will inevitably hit a bump in the road; and then another; and another.
Your partner ought to be someone who will stand by your side through it all, someone you can count on to catch you when you fall.
6) She knows her worth
Do you know why a woman who knows her worth makes for a great partner?
Because she knows what she wants and isn’t going to settle for less, which means you have a partner by your side who genuinely cares about her and the relationship’s well-being.
Because she is confident and self-assured, so there’s a high chance she won’t be unnecessarily jealous, won’t display too much validation-seeking behavior, and will openly communicate how she feels.
Because she isn’t going to let anyone play with her. And that means you have high standards to meet, which helps you grow as a person.
7) She is very emotionally mature
What all the points mentioned above boil down to is this: a really good woman to be in a relationship with is someone who’s emotionally mature, kind-hearted, and who genuinely loves you.
Emotional maturity itself has a lot to do with EQ (emotional intelligence), which typically consists of:
- Social skills
- Empathy
- Emotional self-regulation
- Self-awareness
- Motivation
Of course, this isn’t to say your partner has to rate high on all five. But it is an interesting framework to keep in mind.
So, how did your relationship fare? Did you tick off all the signs on this list?
If so…
I’ve got amazing news. You do, indeed, have a really good woman by your side. Now go ahead and show her just how much you love and cherish her.
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