8 signs you’re in a relationship with a low-quality person (and you deserve better)

We all want to believe the best in the person we’re with, but sometimes, their actions tell a different story.
If you’ve been questioning whether you’re settling for less than you deserve, you’re not alone. As a relationship expert, I’ve seen it time and time again.
Today, we’re going to explore eight signs that might indicate you’re in a relationship with someone who simply isn’t good for you—and, more importantly, why you deserve better.
Let’s dive in.
1) They don’t respect your boundaries
Let’s kick things off with a big one.
If you’ve stated your boundaries and they consistently ignore them, it’s a clear sign you’re dealing with a low-quality person. This could be anything from not respecting your personal space to dismissing your feelings.
Whatever it is, it’s not okay.
As noted by the folks at Psych Central, “Boundaries are essential for human connection and personal safety. They protect you, set the rules of engagement, and allow you to keep your individuality.”
Your needs and feelings are valid. It’s their job to respect your boundaries, even if they don’t fully comprehend them.
2) They are always playing the victim
You know what I’m talking about, right? Those people who never take responsibility for their actions and always blame everyone else for their problems.
In my years of experience as a relationship expert, I’ve seen this pattern too many times.
A person who perpetually plays the victim can make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, always afraid of doing or saying something that might trigger another episode of blame-shifting.
This is well-acknowledged by experts in psychology as a sign of toxicity.
For instance, Elizabeth Scott, PhD, noted in a Very Well Mind post that toxic partners “turn things around so things you thought they had done wrong are suddenly your fault.”
Don’t let anyone shift their responsibilities onto you. It’s vital to realize that everyone is responsible for their own actions and happiness.
You deserve to be with someone mature enough to own up to their mistakes and grow from them.
3) They are excessively controlling
Does your partner constantly want to know where you are and who you’re with? Do they try to control your decisions?
Well, that’s a big red flag.
A healthy relationship is about trust and freedom, not control and fear.
In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk about how critical it is to maintain your individuality in a relationship.
But for now, know that you are not an extension of your partner. You are your own person with your own dreams, desires, and interests.
Having someone try to control your every move doesn’t mean they love you more, no matter what they might say. It means they don’t trust you enough. And a good relationship can’t be built without trust.
4) They are overly nice… at first
This might sound odd, right? How can someone being too nice be a bad thing?
Well, it’s not about them being nice, but rather about them being ‘too’ nice, especially at the start of the relationship. This is often a tactic used by manipulative people.
They shower you with compliments, gifts, and attention to win you over quickly. But this over-the-top charm can fade just as quickly as it came.
In fact, it’s often a warning sign that they might be trying to hide their true character or intentions.
5) They don’t support your dreams
As someone who chased her dreams of starting the Love Connection blog and becoming a relationship expert, I can’t stress enough how vital it is to have a partner who supports your dreams.
If your partner mocks your dreams or discourages you from pursuing them, it’s a clear sign they’re not for you and are probably pulling you down.
In a healthy relationship, your partner should be your cheerleader, not your critic. They should encourage you to chase your dreams, not hold you back.
6) They make you feel lonely
Have you ever felt alone even when you’re sitting right beside your partner?
It’s a painful place to be, I know.
In a healthy relationship, your partner should be someone you can turn to for comfort, support, and companionship. But if they consistently leave you feeling isolated or ignored, it’s a glaring sign something is amiss.
Perhaps they dismiss your feelings when you try to share, or they’re physically present but emotionally distant. Maybe they prioritize everything else—work, friends, hobbies—over spending quality time with you.
I’ve worked with many individuals who felt more alone in their relationships than when they were actually alone. It’s a tough realization, but acknowledging it is the first step toward positive change.
7) They are constantly jealous
So let’s say you’re out with friends, having a great time, and your partner starts blowing up your phone with texts, asking who you’re with, what you’re doing, and when you’re coming home.
Or maybe you casually mention a coworker, and suddenly, your partner becomes cold, questioning your loyalty or accusing you of things you haven’t done.
Sound familiar?
At first, it might seem like a sign they care, but when jealousy becomes a constant in your relationship, it quickly turns suffocating.
As noted by the folks at Healthline, “It’s a perfectly natural human emotion. But when it leads to constant suspicion and mistrust, it can quickly erode your relationship.”
Where does this stem from?
Often, it’s insecurity. A low-quality person might be threatened by your connections with others and try to control or guilt you into cutting them off.
Whatever the source, healthy relationships thrive on trust, not fear and suspicion. You deserve a relationship built on trust, not one that leaves you feeling like you have to justify your every move.
8) They belittle your accomplishments
Last but not least, if your partner consistently minimizes your achievements or tries to overshadow them with their own, it’s a clear sign of a low-quality person.
Your victories should be celebrated, not diminished. Your partner should be proud of your accomplishments, not envious or dismissive.
Your relationship should lift you up, not pull you down.
Conclusion
It’s not always easy to spot a low-quality partner, especially when we’re in love. But it’s crucial for our happiness and mental health to recognize these signs and take the necessary steps.
You deserve someone who respects you, supports you, and loves you for who you are. Don’t settle for anything less.
For more insights on maintaining a healthy relationship and overcoming codependency, do check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.
I realize this post might not have been an easy read, but as always, I hope you found it useful.
Until next time, stay strong.
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