There’s a stark contrast between dating a boy and being in a relationship with a real man.

The distinction boils down to maturity. Dating a boy often means dealing with temper tantrums, selfish tendencies, and emotional immaturity.

Being with a real man, however, involves a partnership based on respect, understanding, and emotional growth.

So, how do you tell if you’re dating a boy and not a real man? Here are eight telltale signs to look out for.

1) Lack of emotional maturity

Dating a boy versus being with a real man boils down to one crucial factor: emotional maturity.

Boys let their emotions run the show, reacting impulsively and throwing tantrums when things don’t align with their desires. They might get possessive and jealous over nothing.

Real men, however, handle their emotions with grace. They don’t let feelings dictate their actions but rather acknowledge them and respond thoughtfully.

In any relationship, emotional equilibrium is key for growth and harmony. A real man understands this and actively works to maintain it.

2) Inability to communicate effectively

Communication is the backbone of any relationship. And a real man knows how to communicate his thoughts and feelings openly and honestly.

Boys, however, often struggle with this aspect. They might avoid having difficult conversations or shy away from expressing their feelings due to fear or pride. This can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts.

Now, onto the real deal – the true men among us. They don’t cower in the face of difficult conversations.

A true man understands that honesty, even when it’s difficult, is essential for the well-being of both parties involved.

For instance, if he’s no longer in love with you, he’ll be upfront about it—in the most compassionate manner possible. You might not like what you hear, but you’ll respect his honesty. 

3) Lack of responsibility

Responsibility is the hallmark of adulthood, no doubt about it. Boys dodge it, pointing fingers at others or external factors.

Contrastingly, a real man owns his actions and their aftermath. He confronts his mistakes head-on, seeing them as stepping stones for personal growth.

In Buddhism, we believe in the law of Karma – the concept that our actions and their consequences are interconnected. It teaches us to take full responsibility for our actions because what we do now will affect our future.

Thus, if your partner ducks responsibility, it’s not just immaturity—it’s a disconnect from timeless wisdom.

4) Unwillingness to compromise

Let’s cut to the chase: A relationship is a partnership, and any successful partnership requires compromise.

A real man understands the art of compromise. He respects your opinions and is willing to meet you halfway. Trust me, it takes a truly mature man to understand the value of give-and-take in maintaining a healthy, balanced relationship.

But hey, if your partner’s all about “my way or the highway,” then Houston, we’ve got a problem. You’re dealing with a boy who hasn’t quite figured out the ABCs of love yet.

5) Living with minimum ego

Ego can be a destructive force in a relationship. Boys often let their egos get in the way, leading to conflicts and power struggles. They strive to always be right or prove their worth, often at the expense of their partner’s feelings.

Real men, however, understand the importance of keeping their egos in check. They are secure in their worth and do not feel the need to prove themselves constantly. They know that a strong relationship is built on mutual respect and understanding, not power struggles.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into the concept of ego and how it can impact our lives. I discuss ways to live with maximum impact and minimum ego, which is essential for a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

If your partner is constantly driven by his ego, it might be a sign you’re dating a boy, not a real man. A real man knows how to balance his self-esteem with humility and respect for others.

6) Lack of self-improvement

Life is dynamic, and true maturity involves seeking fulfillment beyond just comfort or routine.

Now, a real man understands the importance of continuous growth and learning. He works hard to stay relevant and skilled in his chosen field. Because he knows that to be the most ideal partner he can be, he must continuously strive to better himself.

Conversely, if your partner’s content with the status quo, you’re dealing with a boy who’s yet to grasp the concept of adulting.

Make no mistake: personal growth is essential if you want to attain a deeper sense of satisfaction and purpose in life.

7) Lack of empathy

Distinguishing between a boy and a real man hinges on their capacity for empathy. Let me share a personal anecdote:

Growing up, I had a friend named Alex who embodied the epitome of a real man. When another friend went through a breakup, while some of us dismissed it, Alex listened, offering genuine comfort and ongoing support. 

Conversely, I had an uncle who struggled with empathy, often dismissing others’ feelings as trivial. This strained his relationships, leaving others feeling unheard.

Here’s the deal: Empathy isn’t just desirable—it’s vital for meaningful connections.

So, if your partner lacks empathy, you’re with a boy, not a man capable of nurturing a deep, fulfilling relationship.

8) Being overly competitive

In the ring of relationships, a dash of healthy competition can add spice, but when it spirals out of control, it’s a glaring signal that you’re in the ring with a boy, not a man of substance.

Boys often view relationships as battlegrounds for validation, perpetually vying for dominance. They insist on being right, craving the upper hand, fostering a toxic power play.

Now, let’s talk about the real MVP: the man who understands the value of losing gracefully. He comprehends that relationships aren’t about victory or defeat but about mutual evolution.

In essence, if your partner thrives on an overdose of competition, you’re tangled up with a boy, not a bona fide man.

Spotting the real deal: Signs you’re dating a boy, not a man

In conclusion, the difference between dating a boy and being in a relationship with a real man is clear.

It’s all about emotional maturity, communication, responsibility, willingness to compromise, living with minimum ego, constant self-improvement, empathy, and understanding the real essence of competition.

If you’re finding yourself relating to these signs, it might be time to reassess your relationship.

For more insights into living with maximum impact and minimum ego, check out my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. It’s a valuable resource for anyone seeking to understand the profound wisdom of Buddhism and apply it to their daily lives.

Remember, life is too short to settle for less than you deserve. You deserve a real man who complements your journey of personal growth and self-discovery.