There’s a certain kind of love that’s raw, intense, and all-consuming. It’s the kind where you can’t imagine your life without that person, where every moment without them feels like an eternity.

But here’s the kicker – they’re not the one for you.

I’m going to show you 8 signs that you’re deeply in love with someone who may not be right for you.

It might be painful to hear but trust me, it’s better to face reality now than to keep living in a dream that could potentially break your heart.

Let’s dive in.

1) You’re constantly making excuses for them

Love can be blinding, they say, and it’s true. When you’re head over heels in love, it’s easy to overlook the flaws and shortcomings of your partner.

We’re not talking about the little things here, like forgetting to take out the trash or not answering a call.

We’re talking about significant things that affect your relationship – their inability to commit, their constant need for attention, their disrespect towards you or others.

You might be thinking, “But they’ve just been busy with work” or “They’re just going through a tough time”. While this might be true, it doesn’t change the fact that their actions are causing you discomfort or distress.

Love is about respect and understanding. If you’re constantly having to justify their actions or behavior, then maybe they’re not the right person for you. Love is supposed to uplift you, not bring you down.

2) You’re always the one putting in the effort

I remember being in a relationship where I was giving it my all. Every text, every call, every plan – it was always me.

I was always the one initiating, always the one trying to keep the conversation going, always the one making plans for us to meet.

It felt like I was in a relationship with myself. But love is a two-way street, right? It’s about mutual effort, mutual respect, mutual love.

It’s exhausting being the only one trying to keep the relationship going. It’s draining, disheartening, and it’s not how love should be. Love should be about two people working together to build something beautiful.

3) Your friends and family have raised concerns

My friends and family have always been my sounding board. They’ve been there through the good times and the bad, and they’ve always had my back.

So, when they started expressing concerns about one of my relationships, it caught me off guard.

They noticed things I was too in love to see. The way she would brush off my opinions, how she seemed to be more interested in her own life than in ours together, the way she would dismiss my feelings as insignificant.

I remember thinking, “But I love her. She’s just a little misunderstood.” I defended her, stood up for her to my loved ones, told them they just didn’t understand. But deep down, I knew they were right.

Your friends and family know you better than anyone else. They want what’s best for you. If they’re raising red flags about your relationship, it might be time to take a step back and reconsider.

4) You’re not growing as a person

In a healthy relationship, both individuals should grow and flourish.

There’s this concept in psychology called the self-expansion theory which suggests that people often seek relationships and experiences that will expand their sense of self and make them feel more capable and effective.

In one of my relationships, I realized I was actually stagnating. I was the same person I was when we started dating, with no significant changes or growth. I was stuck in a routine, doing the same things over and over again.

I had dreams, ambitions, and goals that I wanted to pursue. But in that relationship, I found myself putting those dreams on hold, always prioritizing her needs over mine.

My world revolved around her, and my personal growth took a backseat.

If you’re not growing in your relationship, if you’re not becoming a better version of yourself, then maybe this person isn’t right for you. Love should help you grow, not hold you back.

It should inspire you to be the best version of yourself.

5) You’re constantly questioning your worth

I was always asking myself, “Am I not good enough? Is there something wrong with me?”

I’d find myself analyzing every word, every action, trying to figure out why she didn’t seem as invested in the relationship as I was. It was a constant battle against my own insecurities, and it took a toll on my self-esteem.

Love shouldn’t make you question your worth. It should make you feel cherished, valued, and loved for who you are.

It’s important to remember that your worth is not determined by how someone else sees you, but how you see yourself. A healthy relationship should make you feel secure and loved, not insecure and questioning your worth.

6) You’re always hoping they’ll change

I remember having a list in my mind, a list of things I wished she’d change about herself. Things like her lack of empathy, her inability to commit, her habit of always putting herself first.

I was in love with the potential of who she could be, rather than who she really was.

It’s natural to hope for the best in people we care about. But when that hope starts to cloud our judgment and keeps us hanging onto a relationship that’s not healthy, it’s a problem.

Hoping that they’ll change, that they’ll become the person you need them to be, is like chasing a mirage. People change when they want to, and you can’t force them.

Love is about accepting your partner for who they are, flaws and all. If you’re constantly hoping for them to change, then you’re not really in love with them, but with the idea of who they could be.

7) You’re losing sight of who you are

I was so focused on keeping her happy, on being the person she wanted me to be, that I started to forget about my own needs and desires.

I stopped doing the things I loved, stopped hanging out with my friends, stopped pursuing my passions. My life became all about her, and in the process, I lost myself.

Losing yourself in a relationship is a clear sign that something’s not right. If you’re changing your behavior, your interests, your values to fit into their world, then maybe this person isn’t right for you.

8) You’re more in love with the memories than the person

There was a point in my journey where I realized that I was clinging onto the memories of our happy times together, rather than the reality of the person standing in front of me.

The late-night talks, the shared laughter, the sweet little moments – they all seemed to overshadow the present where things were far from perfect.

Nostalgia can be a powerful thing. It can make us hold on to something that isn’t right for us. It’s like looking at the world through rose-colored glasses, where everything seems better than it actually is.

But here’s the thing – you can’t build a relationship on memories alone.

Love should be about the here and now. It should be about how they make you feel today, not how they made you feel in the past.

The final note

Recognizing these signs is the first step towards growth. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s worth it for the sake of your happiness and well-being.

With self-awareness, you have the power to shift your narrative. It’s about understanding your needs and asserting them. Honoring your feelings and standing up for yourself.

Acknowledging that you deserve a love that enriches you, not one that diminishes you.

It’s time to reflect on your relationship patterns – are they serving you or hindering you? Are they leading you towards growth or pulling you away from it?

Sometimes the hardest decision leads to the most rewarding outcomes. Letting go of a love that isn’t right for you paves the way for a healthier, happier future.

It allows space for a love that appreciates you, respects you and cherishes you.

It’s okay to feel unsure. What matters is taking that first step towards self-love and self-respect. Because at the end of the day, the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself.