10 signs you’re dealing with a really fake person, according to psychology

Ava Sinclair by Ava Sinclair | September 6, 2024, 3:26 pm

Navigating the world of human interaction isn’t always easy, especially when you bump into those who aren’t as genuine as they appear.

Fake people are a dime a dozen, but they’re not always easy to spot.

Their true colors might be hidden beneath layers of well-crafted persona and charming facade.

However, there are some insight into identifying these wolves in sheep’s clothing.

And trust me, knowing these signs can save you a lot of unnecessary drama and heartache.

So, let’s delve into 10 tell-tale signs you’re dealing with a really fake person, according to psychology. I promise, it’s simpler than you might think.

1) They’re masters of flattery

Ever met someone who always seems to have the right compliments at the right time? Yeah, I’ve been there too.

I once knew this guy, let’s call him Mark.

Mark was the life of the party, always saying the right things, impressing people with his charm.

He had a knack for making everyone feel special, like they were the only person in the room.

But over time, I started to notice a pattern. His compliments weren’t specific to me or anyone else.

They were generic, almost scripted.

It was as if he had a mental rolodex of “one-size-fits-all”praises he would dish out regardless of the situation or person.

Excessive flattery can be a sign of a fake person.

Genuine people give sincere compliments because they truly appreciate and recognize your qualities.

But for fake people like Mark, flattery is often a tool to win your trust and favor.

As the renowned psychologist Carl Jung wisely put it, “The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.”

This rings true when it comes to flattery.

It’s unlikely that the same compliments apply to everyone in an office or a friend group.

So, watch out for those who constantly dish out flattery.

Genuine compliments are great, but when they seem too frequent or generic, it can be a telltale sign of someone being fake.

2) They crave the spotlight

In the world of theater, there’s a term called “spotlight effect”.

This refers to the tendency of performers to overestimate the extent to which others are paying attention to them.

Interestingly, this concept also applies to fake people.

Fake people often need to be the center of attention, constantly trying to steal the spotlight.

They thrive on being noticed and will go to great lengths to keep all eyes on them.

Esteemed psychologist B.F. Skinner once noted, “The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.”

This quote can be interpreted to mean that it’s our actions and intentions, rather than our words, that truly define us.

This need for attention often stems from an underlying insecurity or a lack of self-esteem.

By being in the spotlight, they feel validated and important.

3) They’re inconsistent

We all know someone who’s as changeable as the weather.

One moment they’re your best friend, the next, they’re nowhere to be found.

This inconsistency can be a major red flag.

Inconsistency in behavior is often a sign of a fake person.

They might switch up their attitudes, beliefs, and even their personality depending on who they’re with or what they want.

It’s like they’re playing multiple characters in a one-man show, and it can be exhausting to keep up with.

4) They’re always agreeable

One of the first signs you’re dealing with a fake person, is an over-the-top agreeability.

Fake people generally steer clear of conflict.

They aim to please and agree with everything you say, even if it goes against their personal beliefs.

This is because their primary goal is to be liked and accepted by everyone around them.

Sigmund Freud, one of the most influential psychologists in history, once said, “He does not believe that does not live according to his belief.”

This quote perfectly encapsulates the essence of a fake person: they don’t live according to their beliefs because they’re too busy agreeing with everyone else’s.

Beware of individuals who never have a conflicting opinion or those who immediately change their stance just to match yours.

Authenticity involves standing by your convictions, even when they’re unpopular.

So remember, a little disagreement is not only healthy but also a sign of authenticity.

5) They’re quick to judge others

You know that saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”?

Well, fake people often disregard this piece of wisdom.

Quick to form opinions and pass judgments, they rarely take the time to understand the full story.

They may even gossip or spread rumors, all in an attempt to elevate themselves by bringing others down.

This behavior is a defense mechanism.

By focusing on other people’s flaws, they distract attention away from their own insecurities.

6) They’re never wrong

Ever tried having a discussion with someone who just won’t admit when they’re wrong?

It’s like talking to a brick wall, isn’t it?

Fake people have a hard time admitting their mistakes.

Whether it’s a minor slip-up or a major error, they always have an excuse ready or someone else to blame.

Accepting one’s mistakes requires humility and authenticity, traits that fake people often lack.

They’d rather protect their image than own up to their shortcomings.

7) They aren’t there when you need them

We all have tough times when we need a shoulder to lean on.

True friends show up in these moments, offering their support and standing by your side.

But fake people? They’re often conspicuously absent when the going gets tough.

They’re there for the good times – the parties, the laughs, the highlights.

But as soon as things take a turn for the worse, they’re nowhere to be found.

This lack of empathy and support can leave you feeling isolated and betrayed, especially if you’ve been there for them in their time of need.

Genuine people are reliable and empathetic.

They stick by your side through thick and thin, because they value your relationship more than convenience. 

8) They break their promises

Promises are meant to be kept, not broken.

But for some people, making and breaking promises seems to be a recurring pattern.

I once trusted someone who made big promises, only to break them without a second thought.

It was a hard lesson to learn, but it taught me the importance of actions over words.

Fake people often make grand promises they have no intention of keeping.

It’s a way to keep you hooked, hoping for something that will never materialize.

9) They’re always playing the victim

We all have our fair share of struggles and hardships. Life isn’t always smooth sailing.

But when someone constantly portrays themselves as the victim, it’s a red flag.

I’ve come across individuals who always seem to be at the receiving end of life’s injustices.

No matter the situation, they’re always the one being wronged, never at fault.

This constant victim mentality can be a manipulative tactic to gain sympathy or avoid accountability.

It’s a way of diverting attention away from their actions and onto the perceived injustices they face.

Honesty can be harsh, but it’s essential to recognize this trait for what it is.

This perpetual victim mentality can be draining for those around them, as it often involves manipulation and guilt-tripping.

10) They lack empathy

At the heart of every genuine relationship lies empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

It’s what connects us, what makes us human.

Fake people often lack empathy because they are more focused on their own interests.

They struggle to connect with others on a deeper level and may fail to show understanding or compassion when it’s needed.

This lack of empathy is perhaps the most telling sign of a fake person.

Without it, they are unable to form meaningful, authentic connections with others.

Final thought: It’s all about authenticity

Peeling back the layers of human behavior brings us face to face with an undeniable truth – authenticity is a rare gem.

In a world often masked by pretense and facade, genuine individuals stand out like beacons of sincerity.

They may not always be the loudest in the room or the most popular, but they are consistent, reliable, and true to themselves.

Fake people, as we’ve explored, display patterns of behavior that reveal their lack of authenticity.

Recognizing these signs can help us steer clear of toxic relationships and invest our time and energy in those who truly value us for who we are.

Dr. Brene Brown, a renowned research professor and author, once said, “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

As we navigate our relationships, let’s strive to remember this wisdom.

Let’s choose authenticity over pretense, sincerity over falsehood – for ourselves and for the people we allow into our lives.