We all encounter people who seem to play fast and loose with the truth.

You might interact with someone frequently and begin to question the authenticity of their stories or feel unsure whether you’re dealing with a habitual liar or someone who embellishes the facts a bit.

How do you discern whether you’re dealing with a serial fabricator or someone who occasionally stretches the truth?

I’ve compiled a list of 7 signs to help you identify if you are dealing with such a character. If these indicators seem familiar, it might be time to reassess your relationship with this person.

1) Inconsistent stories

One of the most telling signs of a habitual liar is inconsistency in their stories. Please pay attention to the details and facts they share.

A habitual liar often loses track of their fabrications, resulting in discrepancies and contradictions that become apparent over time.

This inconsistency is not typical of those who occasionally exaggerate or embellish the truth – it’s a characteristic unique to chronic liars.

Remember, though, that everyone can make mistakes or misremember details. It’s the pattern of consistent inconsistency that you should be wary of.

2) Surprising honesty

Ironically, habitual liars can sometimes display surprising levels of honesty.

This may seem counterintuitive, but it’s a tactic often used to gain trust. Admitting small truths, especially ones that show them in a negative light, creates an illusion of authenticity.

The key here is to look at the balance. It may be a manipulative strategy if someone’s confessions are mostly about trivial matters or minor flaws, but they’re always picture-perfect regarding significant issues or events.

While honesty is typically a virtue, in this context, it is another tool in the liar’s toolbox. Be aware of when and how they choose to be ‘honest.’

3) Overly complex narratives

Another common trait of habitual liars is their tendency to weave unnecessarily complex narratives.

Excessive details, overuse of technical jargon, or weaving stories that seem more fit for a Hollywood script than a casual conversation are all signs to look out for.

This complexity serves two purposes. First, it can be a way to impress or awe you, making their lies seem more credible. Second, it can be a defensive tactic – the more convoluted the story, the harder it is to pick apart and verify.

Finding yourself frequently lost in their labyrinthine tales might indicate that they need to be more truthful.

4) Frequent use of self-reference

Did you know that habitual liars often use self-referencing language more frequently than truth-tellers? They’re likely to use “I,” “me,” and “my” more often in their stories.

Because it’s a subconscious attempt to assert authority and credibility – after all, who knows their own experiences better than they do?

Moreover, it can be an indirect way of seeking validation and empathy, making their lies more personal and, therefore, harder to question.

When someone’s stories are peppered with excessive self-references, they’re not being entirely honest with you.

5) Emotional disconnect

Habitual liars often exhibit an emotional disconnect that can be pretty unsettling.

Their reactions might not match the gravity of the situation or the emotion their story should logically invoke. They might narrate a heart-wrenching tale with a casual disregard or talk about a mundane event with an intensity that seems out of place.

This disconnect happens because they focus on crafting the lie rather than living the emotion. It’s like watching an actor who’s forgotten to get into character – the words are there, but the feelings are not.

Pay attention to this emotional paradox; it could signify that they’re spinning tales rather than sharing genuine experiences.

6) Unusual calmness

While we often associate lying with nervousness, habitual liars can be unusually calm.

This calm demeanor might make their stories seem more believable, but it’s often just a well-practiced facade.

A person who lies frequently has had a lot of practice in maintaining their composure, suppressing the typical signs of anxiety that might give them away.

But remember, this isn’t about being naturally calm or collected. This unchanging, constant calm persists even when some anxiety or stress is expected.

However, if someone maintains an implacable calmness, no matter the gravity of their narrative, they’re not being entirely truthful with you.

7) Evasive behavior

Finally, one surefire sign of a habitual liar is evasive behavior.

When questioned or pressed for more information, they might become vague, change the topic, or even defensive. This evasion can also take the form of deflecting questions back to you or answering a question with another question.

This behavior is a way to avoid being caught in a lie. By not providing clear answers or steering the conversation away from the topic at hand, they make it harder for their lies to be exposed.

Some don’t tell the truth when they avoid direct answers and seem uncomfortable when their narratives are challenged.

Understanding the habitual liar

Recognizing the signs of a habitual liar is just the first step. To truly navigate these complex interactions, it’s essential to understand the why behind their behavior.

Habitual liars don’t often lie for the sake of lying. More often than not, there’s a deeper issue at play. It could be a desire to impress, a need for attention, an attempt to evade responsibility, or even an unconscious coping mechanism for dealing with insecurity or low self-esteem.

In some cases, they might not even realize they’re lying. The lines between truth and fabrication can become blurred in their minds, especially if they’ve been lying habitually over a long period.

Navigating relationships with habitual liars can be challenging, but with understanding, patience, and clear boundaries, it’s possible to maintain healthy interactions while encouraging them toward honesty.