Love and addiction in relationships can sometimes blur together, but they are very different experiences.

Addiction to a person can make you feel constantly anxious, dependent, and insecure.

You might find yourself seeking their approval, neglecting other aspects of your life, or making excuses for their behavior.

These are signs that your attachment may be more about need than genuine love.

Understanding these differences is crucial for recognizing when you’re addicted to someone rather than truly in love.

1) Constant need for reassurance

We all crave reassurance in a relationship, it’s perfectly normal. But, it becomes problematic when it turns into a constant need.

This insatiable urge for validation and affirmation is frequently seen in people who are addicted rather than genuinely in love.

Unlike love, which fosters confidence and security, addiction breeds insecurity and doubt.

If you find yourself continually seeking validation from your partner or feeling anxious about where you stand, you might be dealing with an addiction.

Love is about balance and mutual growth, not constant reassurance. 

2) Neglecting other aspects of life

I remember a time when I was so enthralled by someone that everything else seemed to fade into the background.

My friends, hobbies, even my job—everything took a backseat.

My world revolved around this person, and I started neglecting other aspects of my life that used to bring me joy.

I later realized that it wasn’t love, but addiction.

Love doesn’t consume you to the point of losing yourself. It doesn’t narrow down your world, but expands it instead.

If you’re sidelining the things that matter in your life just to be with one person, it might be a sign that you’re addicted rather than in love.

3) You can’t handle the thought of them with someone else

Jealousy is a complex emotion that can surface in any relationship.

However, it becomes a red flag when it’s excessive and irrational.

Research shows that extreme jealousy is often linked to addiction rather than genuine love.

This comes from the possessive nature of addiction, where you feel like you ‘own’ the person and can’t bear the thought of sharing them with anyone else.

In a healthy, loving relationship, jealousy is replaced with trust and understanding.

4) You’re constantly trying to change them

Love is about acceptance. You accept the person for who they are, including their qualities, quirks, and flaws.

On the other hand, addiction often leads to a desire to mold the person into your ‘perfect partner’.

You constantly find yourself wishing they were different or trying to change them.

This can create a toxic environment filled with resentment and dissatisfaction.

So if you’re constantly trying to alter who your partner is, it may be a sign that what you’re feeling isn’t love, but addiction.

5) You feel empty without them

Being in love with someone means enjoying their company, but still being able to function when they’re not around.

If you’re addicted to a person, their absence can leave you feeling an overwhelming sense of emptiness or loneliness.

You might struggle with routine tasks or lose interest in activities you once enjoyed.

This dependency isn’t a sign of love, but rather an indication that you’re using the person to fill a void within yourself.

Love should enhance your life, not become the sole source of your happiness.

6) Your happiness depends on their mood

It’s natural to feel empathy for the person you care about.

When they’re happy, you’re happy, and when they’re down, you feel it too. But there’s a limit to this shared emotional experience.

In a case of addiction, your mood becomes entirely dependent on theirs.

If they’re having a bad day, your day is ruined. If they’re in a good mood, only then can you feel happy.

This isn’t about empathy anymore; it’s about losing your emotional independence.

Love doesn’t rob you of your ability to find happiness within yourself. It adds to your happiness, but it doesn’t dictate it.

If your emotional state is entirely tied to someone else’s, it may be time to question whether it’s love or addiction.

7) You’re always waiting for their approval

I recall a time when I was so engrossed in someone that their opinion became my gospel.

Whether it was about my clothes, my choices, or even my dreams, I constantly sought their approval.

This need for approval, though subtle, can be a sign of addiction. It’s as if their validation became the compass guiding my life.

This is far from a loving relationship where mutual respect and individuality are valued.

If you’re always seeking your partner’s approval and letting their opinion dictate your decisions, it’s worth considering whether it’s love or addiction.

8) You make excuses for their poor behavior

Love can make us overlook certain things, but there’s a difference between understanding and making excuses.

If you’re addicted to a person, you may find yourself continually justifying their poor behavior or harmful actions.

This might include anything from minor indiscretions to major issues like disrespect or unkindness.

In a healthy, loving relationship, you address issues rather than excuse them.

Creating a blanket of excuses for someone’s behavior is often a sign of addiction, not love.

9) You’re afraid of losing them, despite not being happy

The most telling sign of addiction over love is the fear of losing someone, even when you’re not truly happy with them.

Despite their actions or the toll on your well-being, you cling to the relationship out of fear.

Love is about happiness, growth, and mutual respect.

If you’re staying in a relationship driven by fear rather than joy, it’s most likely addiction, not love.

Love should feel safe and empowering, not fearful or draining.

Final reflection

Addiction to a person often manifests as dependency, insecurity, and fear of being without them, even when the relationship doesn’t bring true happiness.

Love, on the other hand, is about acceptance, growth, and mutual respect.

If you find yourself relating to the signs of addiction, it may be time to reassess your relationship and focus on building a healthier, more balanced connection.

Love should enhance your life, not control it!