You can be as old as 50 yet be so irresponsible. But you could be as young as 18 and be the responsible one in a room full of middle-aged adults.

My point is, being a responsible adult isn’t always about age. 

It’s really about how you approach everyday situations. 

Responsible adulthood is all about having the right set of habits or attitudes. 

Do you meet the criteria for being a responsible adult?

In this list, we’ll take a look at 12 signs that show you’re a responsible adult, according to psychology experts.

Let’s dive in!

1) You own your life

Speaker and Psychology Today contributor John Kim emphasizes the importance of personal accountability when it comes to responsible adulthood.

When you take responsibility for your life, you understand that where you are today is a result of your past actions and decisions.

You stop blaming others or circumstances and instead focus on what you can do to improve your situation.

This acceptance and accountability are  what fully allow you to create a better plan for your future.

As Hal Elrod said, “The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life.”

2) You make decisions and take actions that reflect your values

When your actions align with your values, it shows you’re living authentically. And according to clinical psychologists Dr. Shoba Sreenivasan and Dr. Linda Weinberger, this is a telltale sign that you’re a responsible person.

You know what matters to you and your choices show that. 

For example, you own up to a mistake at work instead of covering it up because you value honesty.

Sure, any adult can be honest. 

But the real measure of responsible adulthood is when you choose to be truthful even when it’s hard.

3) You practice gratitude

You know you’re a responsible adult when you appreciate what you have instead of constantly seeking more. 

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not wrong to strive for more.

But as psychology expert John Kim notes, the practice of gratitude is closely linked to better mental health and increased life satisfaction. 

He says it helps shift our focus from what’s lacking to what’s present.

This means that you can hope for better circumstances but you don’t need to wait for them to feel happy and content. 

4) You stop lying, especially to yourself

Another thing Kim notes is the difference between children and responsible adults. He says the former “can believe their own lies” because they live in fantasy, while the latter is honest with themselves.

In other words, he’s saying that being real with yourself and others even when it’s hard is a big sign of being a responsible adult.

It means facing the truths about your abilities, your relationships, and your responsibilities.

Take it as a sign that you’re a responsible adult if you wholeheartedly agree with this quote:

“The truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie hurts forever.” – unknown. 

5) You don’t act like a jerk

Let me ask you something:

If a child accidentally steps on your brand new shoes, would you immediately get angry and yell at them or would you rather let it go?

As Kim highlights, “Being a jerk is a choice and a reaction. If you want to be an adult, there’s no excuse for it.”

So if you’d rather let petty things go than unnecessary blow it up into a major incident, that’s the true mark of responsible adulting.

6) You control your ego

Another point that Kim emphasizes is that an unchecked ego is your biggest hurdle to being a truly mature adult.

But how do you know that you’re actually keeping your ego in check?

It’s when you understand that everyone has value and that your needs and opinions aren’t more important than others. 

It means you’re okay with not always being the center of attention.

It doesn’t mean you have to dim your light completely. 

What it really means is being able and willing to adjust your own brightness from time to time, so that others have a chance to shine.

7) You love hard and responsibly 

Another valuable input from Kim when it comes to the key traits of responsible adults is the concept of loving responsibly. He says that this involves open communication and  being unafraid to show your vulnerability.

He says that the way a responsible adult loves is by giving their all while also setting healthy boundaries. 

According to him, this kind of love requires courage and maturity because it involves balancing your needs with those of others. 

If this sounds like you, rest assured that you are truly a responsible and loving adult.

8) You are an active listener and an effective communicator

Speaking of relationships, licensed professional counselor Marissa Moore notes that having great relationships skills is another sign that you’re a responsible adult.

She zooms in on this further and says that being an effective communicator is a key component of exemplary relationship skills.

So if you’re someone who engages in conversations and truly hears what others are saying and you respond thoughtfully, that’s a confirmation of your responsible adulthood, plus more:

These skills also show that you’re someone who values the people in your life and are willing to invest time and effort into maintaining healthy relationships.

9) You handle your own issues

Another behavior that’s important for healthy relationships and one that sets apart responsible adults identified by John Kim is one’s ability to handle their own issues.

Here’s his thoughts on this:

“If you don’t take care of your own stuff, boundaries are blurred, and you will set yourself up for an adult/child dynamic instead of adult/adult.”

In other words, being a responsible adult means being aware of your issues and working on them, so that you don’t end up relying on others to fix things for you.

10) You call people back

I know this sounds trivial but here’s what psychologists say about ti:

Maintaining personal connections through direct communication, like phone calls, is a practice that shows respect and commitment.

I’m guilty of preferring text messages over voice ones but returning a phone call with another one shows you value their time and effort, plus, it also feels more personal and respectful to the other person.

Returning a call after someone reaches out to you is a good way of showing them that you care about maintaining that connection with them – whether it’s personal or professional.

11) You manage your finances effectively

Going back to our psychology expert, Marissa Moore, she links financial literacy to better financial behaviors and consequently, responsible adulthood.

You know you’re a responsible adult if you keep track of your expenses, pay your bills on time, and plan and save for the future. 

Knowing to budget, save, and invest your money is a sign of financial responsibility that ensures you can handle unexpected costs and work towards your financial goals.

It’s a big sign of being an independent and responsible adult.

And let’s be honest, it’s also a key part of giving us peace of mind and reducing any money-related stress during adulthood.

12) You take care of your mental health and practice self care

Speaking of stress reduction, let’s look at the final, and definitely not the least important skill set required for responsible adulthood, according to Moore:

Self-care.

This includes managing stress, getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and seeking help when needed.

Regular self-care isn’t a privilege nor a luxury – it’s a sign of responsibility. 

It shows that you’re mature enough to know your limits and responsible enough to take steps to recharge and rejuvenate.

This quote summarizes this point best:

“Self-care is how you take your power back.” – Lalah Delia

Keep calm and adult on!

How many of these signs reflect your actions and attitudes? 

Seeing any of these traits in yourself is a great indicator of your progress in adulting. 

But here’s a couple of things to remember:

• These aren’t the only signs of a responsible adult, there’s definitely more – but this list is definitely a good start.
• You don’t need to tick all the boxes. You simply need to understand where you stand and where you can grow.

Adulting comes with its share of ups and downs, but each responsible choice you make definitely adds up.

Keep going, you’re doing an amazing job adulting!