It’s that haunting feeling where you don’t feel like your life is your own – especially the good parts.

Like everything you’ve ever achieved was thanks to luck. Not to mention that sinking feeling when you’re alone.

Sound familiar?

You might be struggling with a case of impostor syndrome, a negative behavioral pattern often seen in high achieving individuals who can’t see it for themselves.

And if they can, it’s usually short-lived and requires a bottle or two in the name of celebration.

Let’s get into it – here are 8 signs that you’re a high achiever with low self-worth.

1) You find compliments awkward or fake

Almost as if there’s an expiration date on them.

Like they’re coming from a place of pity or politeness. You might even think back to conversations and feel like you were naive to trust someone’s positive affirmations.

I’ve been there, and I’ve found that something that helps is getting these thoughts out on paper. They sound a lot more irrational and paranoid on there.

Learning how to internalize positive feedback can be difficult because you must get to the root cause of why you believe you aren’t deserving of them.

In fact, being a high achiever in your field might be something you do in order to keep yourself from exploring your inner wounds.

The world is a cold place; we all have them. And our hearts are like skin – no one is exempt from gentle exfoliation here and there.

While this form of escapism might serve you temporarily, without the necessary self-reflection, it puts you in a place of chronic ambivalence.

2) You have a hard time making big decisions

Ambivalence for me is a state of limbo where decisions feel like the end of the world, and choices feel like never ending banana peels in my way.

This can be about any decisions outside of your comfort zone that put you in a state of analysis paralysis.

Especially in the realm of relationships and matters of the heart.

A lot of these issues regarding impostor syndrome tend to have a “build up effect” where they get worse without your total awareness.

For example, as these feelings of low self-worth catch up to you, you might feel like your career moves feel impulsive or lacking in some way. And start doubting where you didn’t doubt before.

Reminds me of that one song, Vienna by Billy Joel, “though you can see when you’re wrong, you know you can’t always see when you’re right.”

In fact, that entire song could be the anthem for this article.

3) You compartmentalize everything

High achievers often compartmentalize their lives and specifically their emotions to maintain their sight on their goals.

Human beings in general aren’t meant to be consistent like clockwork. If you want to develop mentally and emotionally, you have to make room for a little chaos.

Not to say stability isn’t important – but if you expect perfectionism, emotions usually take the backseat of your life along with growth and change.

Reassuring yourself that everything is “fine” so you can keep going will lead to a quick burnout. With recovery time between each breakdown growing longer and longer as you age.

Which means seeing your feelings, thoughts, desires and fears as separate entities can perpetuate a cycle of low self-worth.

You must remember that everything is connected.

Learning to accept that everything you hate about yourself is connected to everything you love about yourself will be the key in the reconciliation.

Otherwise, you might start chasing dreams that aren’t fulfilling and put yourself in situations that reflect that.

4) You have a lot of shallow connections

When I was younger and didn’t know how to value my soul or heart, I prioritized my ambition over everything.

And it’s not uncommon for young people to do this because self-worth isn’t something you’re born with.

It’s cultivated through trial and error.

So you might find yourself feeling badly about yourself and not know why. But I urge you to ask yourself – do you like the people around you?

How does everything you’re doing line up with your values? Is there an element of “I’ll worry about that later” when you see red flags?

Because that means you aren’t feeling safe in the spaces you’re in, which further pushes your emotions into the trunk of your metaphysical car.

Especially in the professional space, what ends up happening is that you don’t really make friends.

Just people who compete with you and call it “networking.”

5) You see your peers as competition

I should mention that networking can be a healthy practice if it’s rooted in collaboration between like-minded people.

But because of how the system is set up, those with low self-worth view a constant sense of rivalry as an easy source of motivation.

Over the last 2 years, my mind took its time to switch from one type to the other. And in my experience, cultivating authentic values was the key.

For example, I became more educated on how colonialism and capitalism shape our society.

Learning about how history makes life different for some people just because of where they’re born definitely gave me different goals to strive for.

Goals that didn’t leave much room for my ego to care about how much better I was doing than everyone else.

Not that I don’t have an ego – but instead of ruminating over it and allowing it to control my actions, I was able to change my perspective a lot.

Starting with what I prioritize – which is now my health over a reputation.

6) You overcommit without care for how it affects your health

I’m coming to the realization that comparing myself to others based on my insecurities is a waste of time.

Once I stopped being a high achiever in the name of what I lacked, I saw that a lot of people who are still stuck in that hamster wheel aren’t actually happy.

Just like how I wasn’t actually happy and needed external reminders to validate everything I did.

Again, this especially affects young people who don’t realize that their choices now will affect their health in as little as 10 years.

And I only started seeing how badly I was treating myself when I slowed down and invested my energy more mindfully.

What’s the point of going hard if I can’t be sure I’ll be able to go at all in a few years? How will I strive for anything then?

Not only did I need this reality check, but it completely reframed the idea of asking for help.

7) You rarely ask for help

When you don’t care for your well-being and you’re surrounded by other people who also don’t care, asking for help becomes a myth. An urban legend that has no place in your reality unless  you want to be a low achiever – god forbid!

Hyper independence is tricky because all the excuses you’ll make for why it’s not harmful will feel very convincing in the moment.

And because competing to get ahead is so normalized, competing with yourself will make you think you discovered the blueprint to success.

When you’ve really just discovered the blueprint to destroying your relationship with yourself.

Of course, I still believe in independence if you want to develop into your own person. And everything in moderation!

But I guess what I’m trying to say is that how you see yourself when you need a hand says a lot about what’s really going on in your mind.

8) You find it hard to imagine a future outside of your achievements

It’s hard to do so when we are surrounded by consumerism the second you open your eyes, phone and door.

So much so that you might even accept this aspect of life as fate.

But giving away your ability to define success for yourself puts your self-worth in jeopardy because if you’re not driving the car, who is?

Having an unstable sense of self-worth is the same as having a low one.

Try visualizing a life outside of your achievements. A ten-year plan without the accolades.

Then try to do the same thing but this time, pay attention to how different things make you feel. For me, imagining what kind of a world I would like for my children seems to do the trick.

Write it down if it helps you compare and reflect over time.

It might be hard to let go of these patterns because you feel like they’re what kept you successful for so long.

But there’s no need to punish yourself for being a human being – your successes and perceived “weaknesses” don’t cancel out.

It’s a slow journey to internalizing this sentiment, and it’s common among those who are constantly after the “next thing.”

As well as people who belong to marginalized groups where you have to do twice or thrice as much work to be recognized.

Whatever success means to you, remember that you have every right and power to define it for yourself.

Success in one area doesn’t always translate into an overall sense of gratitude or contentment, so it’s okay for your definition to change with you.

Because if you can feel like all your achievements were a sheer stroke of luck, you’re capable of feeling lucky being born as yourself, too.