I know a few people who think they’re the life of the party, but truth be told, they’re the ones everyone quietly hopes will head out early.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but sometimes, our own behavior can be more exhausting than we realize. It takes some real self-awareness—knowing when you’re lighting up the room and when you’re draining the energy right out of it.

Trust me, I’ve had my moments on both sides of that line. Are you ready to hold up the mirror and see if you might be more exhausting to be around than you think?

Let’s take a look at ten signs, straight from the world of psychology, that could indicate you’re tipping the scales toward tiresome.

1) You’re always the center of attention

One mark of an exhausting person is the need to always be the center of attention.

They love dominating every conversation, making every event about them, and constantly seeking validation from others.

It’s like a black hole that sucks all the energy in the room, leaving others feeling drained and unheard.

A study on attention-seeking behavior found that some people (especially teens) tend to act out more when they feel they’re not getting enough attention from others. This shows how the need for attention can make someone more demanding, which can quickly wear out the people around them.

2) You often find yourself in conflicts

From my own experience, I’ve noticed that being regularly entangled in conflicts can be a sign of being an exhausting person to be around.

I remember a time when it seemed like every conversation I had would end up in a disagreement or heated debate. I felt like I was constantly defending my opinions and beliefs, and it was emotionally draining for both me and the people around me.

Don’t get me wrong, healthy debates are great. They encourage growth and understanding. But when it becomes a constant, it can create tension and stress for everyone involved.

If you find yourself often in conflicts like I once did, it might be time to reassess how you communicate with others. Could it be that you’re quick to judge or too rigid in your views?

3) You’re a chronic complainer

Constant complaining can significantly decrease morale and productivity.

Now, imagine the impact of this behavior in social interactions. If you’re frequently complaining about your life, work, or even the weather, it can make your company quite tiresome.

Of course, everyone vents from time to time—it’s a natural way to cope with stress. But when it becomes a habit, it can cast a dark cloud over your interactions, leaving those around you feeling drained and gloomy.

If you find yourself complaining more often than not, try exploring more positive ways to express your feelings. Adopting a more optimistic outlook can also improve your own mood and wellbeing.

4) You’re a pessimist

Pessimism can be quite draining for those around you.

If you’re frequently pointing out the negatives in every situation, it can pull down the mood and energy of the people you interact with. You might find that friends, family, or colleagues are hesitant to share their joys and successes with you, fearing that you’ll bring them down with your negative outlook.

A healthy dose of reality is necessary, no doubt. But constant pessimism can make it hard for others to enjoy your company.

Working towards a more balanced perspective can help here. It doesn’t mean you have to become an eternal optimist overnight, but simply acknowledging the positive aspects of situations can make a world of difference to your interactions.

5) You struggle with active listening

According to psychology, active listening is a crucial part of effective communication. It involves concentrating, understanding, responding, and then remembering what is being said.

If you’re often interrupting others, not engaging in what they’re saying, or constantly shifting the focus back to yourself, this could be a clear sign of poor listening skills.

This can be incredibly exhausting for others as it gives the impression that you’re not genuinely interested in their thoughts or experiences.

6) You lack empathy

At the heart of every meaningful relationship lies empathy. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

If you struggle to show empathy, it can make you a tough person to be around. People might feel that you’re not truly ‘there’ for them, especially during difficult times.

Imagine a friend sharing a painful experience with you, and instead of offering comfort or understanding, you dismiss their feelings or worse, make it about yourself. It can be incredibly hurtful and exhausting for the other person.

By showing genuine care and understanding, you invite deeper connections and more enriching interactions. Everyone is fighting their own battle – a little empathy goes a long way.

7) You’re resistant to change

There was a time in my life when I realized that I was extremely resistant to change. Whether it was moving to a new city, changing jobs, or even adapting to a new routine, I would resist and cling to the familiar.

This resistance didn’t just make my life difficult; it also became tiresome for those around me as they had to constantly reassure and comfort me through every minor adjustment.

Change is an inevitable part of life. If you’re always fighting against it, it can become exhausting for you and the people who care about you.

8) You’re overly agreeable

You’d think being agreeable would make you a pleasant person to be around. But surprisingly, being too agreeable can be quite exhausting for others.

If you’re always saying ‘yes’, never expressing your own opinions or preferences, it can put a lot of pressure on others. They might feel like they’re constantly having to make decisions for you or second-guess what you truly want.

While it’s important to be cooperative and considerate, it’s equally important to express your own thoughts and feelings. Healthy relationships thrive on balance and mutual respect for each other’s individuality.

9) You’re a perpetual victim

Playing the perpetual victim can be extremely draining for those around you.

If you’re always blaming others for your misfortunes, refusing to take responsibility for your actions, or constantly feeling sorry for yourself, it can be tiresome for others.

While everyone has moments of self-pity and bad luck, making a habit out of it can push people away. It can make them feel like they’re walking on eggshells around you, afraid to say or do the wrong thing.

10) You lack self-awareness

If you’re unaware of how your actions and words impact others, it can make you an exhausting person to be around.

Self-awareness means recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, understanding your emotions, and being mindful of how you interact with others. 

It’s a skill you can train. The more you understand yourself, the better you’ll be able to navigate your relationships and become a more pleasant person to be with.

Final thoughts

It’s not always easy to admit that you might be more exhausting than energizing, but awareness is the first step towards change.

The beautiful thing about life is that we’re not stuck in our ways—we have the power to grow, to adapt, to become the best version of ourselves. So, if you see yourself in any of these signs, don’t be too hard on yourself.

Embrace the opportunity to learn and evolve. Every small step you take toward self-improvement doesn’t just make you a better person—it makes you a more delightful person to be around.