The loudest person in the room isn’t always the most confident one.

It’s quite an evident truth when you think about it – just because someone is loud and attention-seeking doesn’t mean they have a healthy sense of self-esteem – and yet it’s quite commonly assumed that those who love the spotlight must be ultra-confident.

Well, guess what?

You can be genuinely confident even if you’re naturally introverted. Those two don’t cancel each other out.

Here are the 6 signs you meet the criteria to join the confident introverts’ club.

1) You enjoy spending time in your own company

I know, I know. Shocker, right?

I mean, you’re an introvert, so it’s pretty obvious you like to be alone.

But there’s more to it than that. See, there’s a difference between someone who recharges in solitude and someone who genuinely enjoys spending time in their own company.

The first could be a couple of hours alone every evening.

The latter might be the fact that you go to the cinema on your own every week, that you love solo hikes, that you’re a huge fan of solo travel, or that you don’t get embarrassed when you go out to eat and sit at a table for one.

The first is a requirement for every introvert; the latter is genuine confidence.

As Professor of Sociology Anthony Synnott PhD says, “Solitude is not the same as loneliness. Solitude is a positive state: the time and space to enjoy being with oneself — time out, or some space to drop out of the rat race, step off the treadmill, turn off the noise, and maybe enjoy nature.”

If you feel like you can have fun on your own (and might even prefer your own company to spending time with people whose presence doesn’t fulfil you), it’s the first sign you’re a confident introvert.

Yay!  Now we only have five more to go…

2) You aren’t afraid to assert your boundaries

Some people might think that confidence is about jumping into everything head first; about a blatant lack of fear.

But that’s not necessarily true. In fact, you can be hesitant to do something and still be confident – as long as you don’t let yourself get pushed around and establish your boundaries, that is.

You know yourself better than anyone. You and only you are able to determine how far you can push yourself without breaking.

If your social batteries run out after two hours of socializing, the confident thing to do is to tell people you’re leaving and spend the rest of the evening on your own.

If you need a day spent in bed on your holiday, again, a confident person is going to say that (without the need to explain yourself) instead of gritting their teeth and going out.

Boundaries are inherently tied to confidence.

How?

Well, according to Psychology Today, “Setting boundaries means, first of all, knowing what one wants and expects from the people in their life, and what they’ll accept from them—and then clearly, concisely, and calmly stating those ground rules.”

I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty confident to me. Not only do you have to figure out what you want but you also need to have the guts to state that and face potential backlash.

If you can do that…

Yep, that’s our second sign ticked off.

3) You listen more than you talk

You might think that the person who talks and talks and talks some more has such a huge ego that they can’t shut up about themselves for even one minute, but the truth is that they actually may not be as confident as it seems.

In fact, confident people tend to listen more than they talk because they don’t seek validation in the external world. Therefore, they don’t feel any need to be in the center of attention or have all their feelings and thoughts confirmed by another person.

Psychology Today highlights that confident individuals have lower levels of anxiety related to seeking approval from others.

This is because their self-esteem is not heavily tied to how others perceive them.

Instead, they trust their own judgment and feel secure in their abilities, which reduces the need for constant validation​

Plus, a confident person genuinely wants to get to know others and learn more about the world around them. 

That’s because they feel secure enough to pursue new interests and explore new connections instead of constantly turning in the same circles of second-guessing themselves, hunting for ego boosts, and overthinking other people’s opinions of them.

 In short, if you’re a confident introvert, you listen much more than you talk.

4) You’re an optimist at heart

What is confidence when it comes down to it?

Here’s the basic definition from Psychology Today: “Confidence is a belief in oneself, the conviction that one has the ability to meet life’s challenges and to succeed—and the willingness to act accordingly. Being confident requires a realistic sense of one’s capabilities and feeling secure in that knowledge.”

Sounds very much like optimism, doesn’t it?

After all, both confidence and optimism are about taking on new challenges with the hope that you will do well.

They’re both about venturing forth in spite of obstacles and keeping faith that there’s a good outcome at the end of it all.

So, if you’re an optimist at heart…

You know what it means.

5) You don’t take things too personally

A lot of what we’ve already discussed touches upon one vital truth: people who struggle with self-esteem have quite fragile egos, and even a slight shove can push them over the edge.

This is why Kylie is so prickly, why John flips out when you poke fun at him, or why Hannah has to make everything about herself – even things that don’t concern her.

They simply take things way too personally, their egos latching onto anything that could give rise to self-doubt and sending them into defensive mode.

Dr. Daramus indicates on Very Well Mind that people who are insecure often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.

This can lead them to react defensively in an attempt to hide their perceived weaknesses.

Defensive behaviors can include attacking others, bringing up past mistakes, or using the silent treatment to avoid confrontation

A genuinely confident person works differently. If you’re part of the club, you can probably relate to the following signs:

• You understand that other people’s behavior isn’t necessarily connected to you
• You know that everyone processes things differently, and therefore you don’t expect others to act just like you do
• You feel like getting hung up on what other people think of you is a waste of time
• You have so much going on that you don’t have the time or energy to overthink what others think about you or what they meant when they said X or Y

6) You are your best friend

If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this article, it’s that it doesn’t matter how loud, outgoing, or social you are.

Confidence is rooted in completely different factors, such as your ability to prioritize your mental health and set boundaries, the joy you feel when you’re all alone, and the fact that you take on life’s challenges with zeal and hope.

The biggest sign you’re a genuinely confident person even if you’re naturally introverted, though, is that you love yourself.

Genuinely, truly love yourself.

Sure, you’re not perfect. Yes, there are things you need to work on. But if you were given the choice to become someone else, would you take it? Or would you remain as you are?

Your answer says a great deal about how confident – and how happy with yourself – you are.