There’s a subtle difference between being in a relationship that’s simply going through a rough patch and one that’s no longer bringing you joy.

As a relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve heard countless stories from people stuck in loveless relationships, unsure of what to do next.

That’s why I’ve compiled this list of 8 signs your relationship is no longer making you happy, according to psychology.

This isn’t just about pointing out the obvious red flags. This is about helping you understand what really matters in a relationship and when it might be time to reconsider.

1) You’re constantly feeling drained

In the realm of relationships, there’s a huge difference between feeling emotionally exhausted occasionally and consistently feeling drained.

According to psychology, a key sign that your relationship might not be making you happy anymore is if you’re constantly feeling drained. This doesn’t just mean physically tired, but emotionally and mentally exhausted as well.

Think about it.

When you’re in a relationship that makes you happy, it should energize you, not deplete you.

If you’re always feeling drained after spending time with your partner, it might be a signal that something is off.

This could be due to constant arguments, lack of shared interests, or perhaps just the overall negativity in the relationship.

A healthy relationship should lift you up and make you feel good about yourself and your life. So if you’re constantly feeling drained, it might be time to reassess. 

2) You’re missing the joy of solitude

In my experience as a relationship expert, I’ve noticed that people in unhappy relationships often miss their alone time.

They long for the quiet moments of solitude that they used to enjoy before their relationship started to become strained.

This doesn’t mean that wanting some alone time is a sign of an unhappy relationship. Everyone needs a little “me time” now and then.

But if you’re constantly yearning for the days when you were single or when you could enjoy your alone time without feeling guilty or anxious, it might be a red flag.

A happy relationship should balance companionship and personal space. It’s about enjoying the time spent together and appreciating the moments spent apart.

So, if the joy of solitude seems more appealing than spending time with your partner, it might be a sign that your relationship is no longer making you happy.

3) You’re feeling more obligated than eager

In a healthy and happy relationship, spending time together should be something you’re excited about, not something you feel obligated to do.

I’ve seen many couples struggling with this issue in my practice. It’s a common theme I discuss in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

If you’re constantly feeling like you’re doing things out of obligation instead of desire, it might be a sign that your relationship is no longer bringing you happiness.

This can range from big things, like moving in together or getting married because “it’s the next logical step”, to small things, like watching a TV show your partner loves but you can’t stand.

In my book, I delve into how these feelings of obligation can lead to resentment and unhappiness in a relationship. It’s crucial to understand that it’s okay to have different interests and to spend time apart doing what each one enjoys.

So if the sense of obligation is outweighing your excitement, it might be time to reassess and even consider seeking professional help to understand what’s truly going on.

4) You’re not arguing anymore

Surprisingly, not having arguments could be a sign that your relationship is no longer making you happy.

It may seem counterintuitive, but hear me out.

Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. They show that both individuals have their own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs.

What’s important is how these disagreements are handled.

If you’ve reached a point where you’re avoiding arguments because you’re tired, or you feel it’s pointless, it may be a red flag. This could indicate that you’ve stopped communicating your needs and wants to your partner, which can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

Resolving disagreements in a healthy manner can lead to growth and understanding in a relationship.

So if the sound of silence is replacing the healthy debates you used to have, it might be time to reflect on why this is happening.

5) You’re no longer laughing together

Laughter, as they say, is the best medicine. But what happens when the laughs stop?

In my experience, it could be a sign that your relationship is no longer bringing you happiness.

I’ve always believed that one of the best indicators of a healthy relationship is shared laughter. It’s something I’ve experienced in my own relationships, and have seen in countless others.

When you’re able to laugh together, it shows a shared sense of humor and a bond that goes beyond just romantic love. It’s about enjoying each other’s company and finding joy in the simple moments.

But if you find that those shared laughs are becoming few and far between, it might be time to assess why.

Are the jokes falling flat? Or are you just not finding things to laugh about together anymore?

Remember, a relationship without laughter can often feel like a joyless journey. So if the sound of shared laughter is fading, it might be a sign that your relationship is no longer making you happy.

6) You’re fantasizing about a life without your partner

This one is a tough pill to swallow, but it’s necessary to address. If you find yourself regularly daydreaming about a life without your partner, it’s a clear indication that your relationship might not be making you happy anymore.

It’s perfectly normal to occasionally wonder about the “what ifs” in life.

But if these thoughts become frequent and you’re imagining a happier, more fulfilling life without your partner, it’s time for some honest introspection.

This doesn’t necessarily mean you should impulsively end the relationship. But it does mean you should take some time to understand these feelings.

Are you unsatisfied? Unfulfilled? Do you feel trapped or hindered by your relationship?

These are difficult questions to ask yourself, but they’re necessary if you want to understand what’s truly going on in your relationship.

Remember, honesty with oneself is the first step towards real happiness.

7) You’re not looking forward to a future together

In a relationship, one of the most exciting things is dreaming of a future together.

But what if you’ve stopped doing that?

In my journey as a relationship expert, I’ve often found that couples in unhappy relationships have a hard time envisioning a future together.

Whether it’s planning a vacation, discussing career goals, or even imagining growing old together – they just can’t see it.

If you’re finding it hard to think about future plans with your partner or you’re actively avoiding such conversations, it might be a sign that your relationship is no longer making you happy.

Remember, imagining a shared future is an integral part of being in a committed relationship.

If that vision is blurred or non-existent, it may be time to have an honest conversation with your partner about what each of you wants from the relationship.

8) You’re no longer proud to be with them

This is a tough one to admit, but it’s essential to face. If you find yourself no longer feeling proud to be with your partner, it’s a significant sign that your relationship may not be making you happy anymore.

Love is about respect and admiration. When you’re in a relationship that makes you happy, you’re proud of your partner and the bond you share.

But if you’re starting to feel embarrassed or apologetic about your partner’s actions or attitudes, or if you’re consistently downplaying your relationship to others, it’s an indication that something might be off.

It’s not about bragging or showing off, but about genuinely feeling proud and lucky to have your partner in your life.

If those feelings have faded away, it’s crucial to address why this is happening. After all, being in a relationship should enhance your life, not make you feel uneasy or ashamed.

Final thoughts

Recognizing that your relationship might not be making you happy anymore is not an easy task. It takes a lot of courage, honesty, and introspection.

But remember, you deserve happiness and fulfillment in your relationships.

These signs are just guidelines to help you understand your feelings better. Every relationship is unique and it’s crucial to communicate with your partner about what you’re experiencing.

If you’re struggling with these issues, consider diving into my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It provides guidance on how to navigate the complexities of relationships and find the happiness you deserve.