When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to wonder if it’s built to last.

Sure, the honeymoon phase feels great, but how do you know if your connection has the strength to go the distance?

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen my fair share of couples come and go.

And from what I’ve noticed, the strongest relationships aren’t always the ones with the most fireworks or drama.

Instead, they’re built on steady, reliable foundations that keep them thriving even when life throws challenges their way.

So, how can you tell if your relationship is built to last?

It’s not about perfection, but about certain qualities that make a lasting bond possible.

Whether you’re newly together or have been partners for years, these 6 signs can help you gauge the strength and longevity of your relationship.

Let’s take a closer look at the key factors that indicate your relationship has what it takes to go the distance.

1) Mutual respect

It’s easy to love someone when the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and everything is going well.

But true, lasting relationships aren’t built on sunshine and roses alone.

The real test of a relationship is how you treat each other during the hard times.

When disagreements arise, when life throws curveballs, when the chips are down – that’s when the strength of your bond is truly revealed.

In enduring relationships, partners treat each other with kindness and consideration, no matter what.

They maintain that respect even in the heat of an argument or in the middle of a crisis.

So if you and your partner can weather any storm with respect intact, you’re off to a great start.

That’s a clear sign that your relationship has what it takes to last.

2) You don’t need to talk

We all know that for relationships to work, open and honest conversation is vital. But equally important is the ability to enjoy silence together.

As Lea Rose Emery of Brides Magazine says, “In a relationship—especially a long-term relationship like a marriage or domestic partnership—it should be the most comfortable thing in the world.”

You know you’ve found someone special when you can sit in silence without feeling awkward or anxious.

When there’s no pressure to fill the quiet with chatter.

When you can simply exist in the same space, each doing your own thing, yet still feel connected.

This kind of comfortable silence speaks volumes about the security and depth of your relationship.

It suggests a level of understanding and acceptance that transcends words.

3) Independence is valued

 

It’s a common misconception that being in a relationship means losing your individuality.

On the contrary, the strongest relationships are those where both partners have space to grow and evolve as individuals.

In my experience, couples who value each other’s independence tend to have a healthier dynamic.

They understand that it’s okay to have separate interests, friends, and activities. They respect each other’s need for personal time and space.

What most people forget is that being in a relationship doesn’t mean being joined at the hip.

As I discuss in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, a relationship is about being two whole individuals who choose to share a life together, not two halves trying to make a whole.

If you’ve found that you and your partner can pursue your individual passions while still being a supportive unit, that’s a promising sign of a lasting relationship.

4) You argue constructively

No relationship is free of disagreements, and that’s okay.

In fact, as someone once said, “The absence of conflict is apathy, not harmony.”

The key isn’t to avoid arguments, but to learn how to argue constructively.

In a healthy relationship, disagreements are seen as opportunities for growth rather than threats.

You view them as a chance to understand your partner better, to work through misunderstandings and to find common ground.

I’ve seen it in my own life and the lives of couples I’ve worked with – those who argue constructively are more likely to have a lasting relationship.

They fight fair. They listen.

They express their feelings without blaming or attacking. They strive for resolution rather than victory.

In other words, it’s not about the presence of conflict.

It’s how you handle them that matters.

5) You appreciate the small moments

Having been in a long-term relationship myself, I can tell you that it’s often the small, everyday moments that truly define a lasting relationship.

So take a moment to think about this: do you appreciate the little things your partner does for you?

Do you notice how they provide support and comfort in the smallest yet most powerful ways?

I’m talking about little moments of shared laughter, silent understanding, or mutual comfort.

These moments may seem insignificant but they add up.

They form the foundation of your shared experiences and memories.

They become the threads that weave your lives together.

So if you find yourself cherishing these little moments with your partner, treasure them. They’re a beautiful sign that your relationship is built to last.

6) You’re not afraid to be vulnerable

Let’s be real here. Relationships can be messy, and opening up to someone on a deep level can be downright terrifying.

It requires vulnerability, which is often seen as a sign of weakness.

But in reality, it’s one of the bravest things we can do.

In a relationship built to last, you’re not afraid to let your guard down.

You’re willing to share your fears, insecurities, and hopes with your partner. You’re open about your flaws and willing to work on them.

And most importantly, you’re not afraid to say those three little words – “I need help”.

Whether it’s dealing with a personal issue or navigating a challenge in your relationship, you’re not afraid to lean on your partner for support.

Being vulnerable isn’t easy. It’s raw, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s risky.

But it’s also incredibly powerful. It fosters trust, deepens intimacy, and strengthens your bond.

I can’t imagine going through life with someone you can’t be vulnerable with, can you?

Final thoughts

In the end, a lasting relationship isn’t about avoiding conflict or expecting everything to be perfect.

It’s about building a solid foundation that can withstand life’s inevitable twists and turns.

If you recognize these signs in your relationship, you’re likely on the path to a partnership that can endure the highs and lows while continuing to grow stronger over time.

And if you’re not there yet, if you find your relationship doesn’t tick all these boxes, don’t be disheartened.

Relationships, like people, are works in progress.

They evolve and grow over time.

To delve deeper into the complexities of relationships and personal growth, I recommend this insightful video by Justin Brown where he explores the problem with using the law of attraction to try to find the perfect partner.

His key point is that we need to give up on this idea of the perfect partner, we need to recognize that relationships are about commitment, embracing challenges, growing together.

Love isn’t a destination; it’s a journey.

So keep growing, keep loving, and keep striving for a relationship that’s built to last.