6 signs your partner loves you more than ever, according to psychology

Leila El-Dean by Leila El-Dean | December 27, 2023, 10:39 pm

If you’re in a long-term relationship, you’ve probably noticed a few changes over the years.

I’m talking less spark, more bark!

Where they would once surprise you with romantic getaways or shower you with indulgent gifts, you now spend your time discussing more mundane things.

Stuff like how you should leave the toilet seat (put it down guys!) or when to take out the trash.

Don’t worry, this shift in priorities is totally normal!

And it doesn’t mean they’ve changed how they feel about you.

But if you need a little more reassurance, look out for these six signs that your partner loves you more than ever (according to psychology).

How many do you recognize?

1) They involve you in their plans

Actions speak louder than words.

When your partner involves you in their long-term goals (and backs it up with action) it shows they love you more than ever.

According to psychology, making detailed plans, visualizing goals, and rehearsing activities over and over not only demonstrates commitment and responsibility but also helps you hit those goals.

So, think about it.

If they want to buy a house together or if they’re keen to tell all your friends about your plans to start a family, they seriously love you and visualize a happy future together.

2) They laugh at your jokes

Humor is incredibly important for maintaining loving relationships.

There’s science behind it.

This study involved over 15,000 people and concluded that humor significantly increased relationship satisfaction.

Which makes a lot of sense.

Because there are plenty of psychological benefits associated with laughter.

First of all, it sends a signal to your brain that everything is okay and you can relax. This is not only great for stress relief and your mental well-being but also for your physical health.

Your heart rate and blood pressure actually decrease when you giggle, your muscles relax, and your immune system improves.

Laughing also has incredible social benefits. When you laugh with your partner it strengthens bonds and increases trust in the relationship. After all, laughing is an authentic and sincere activity that can’t really be faked.

3) They support you (in everything you do)

I’m talking about all kinds of support here.

Emotional, physical, moral, and financial.

Being there for you, providing a shoulder to cry on, or maybe just listening to your problems.

Small things like carrying heavy shopping bags or cooking your favorite meal. Boosting your confidence when you’re struggling for motivation. Lending you money or supporting you financially during rough times.

What do all these things have in common?

They all demonstrate altruism (selfless acts of kindness).

In other words, they don’t expect anything in return and support you from a position of genuine empathy, compassion, and (you’ve guessed it) love!

In fact, according to psychologist Akdermirc (2010): “altruism and altruistic love are inseparable, as a person cannot love unconditionally without being altruistic, nor can a person be altruistic without loving unconditionally.”

4) They’re sensitive (sometimes jealous)

Jealousy is a complex emotion.

Especially in the context of relationships.

In moderation (and when justified) it’s perfectly normal to feel jealous (it shows you care). For example, if your partner tells you they’ve had a drunken kiss with a work colleague at the Christmas party, you’re going to feel hurt, betrayed, and jealous.

I would go as far as to say, that if you didn’t feel jealous in this situation, something is wrong!

But let’s look at another scenario. A deadline is coming up and you’ve been working late all week. Your partner angrily confronts you demanding where you’ve been.

This is excessive jealousy driven by insecurity or distrust.

So as you can see, there are different levels to this, depending on the individuals involved.

Evolutionary psychologist David Buss looked at jealousy from a unique perspective.

He proposed that jealousy is an adaptive response to love. Kind of like a protection mechanism to alert us against threats.

There’s no doubt that jealousy and love are connected in some shape or form.

But in the context of long-term established relationships, if your partner is more sensitive than usual when you bring up previous lovers or talk about attractive friends, it probably means they’re still very much smitten with you.

5) They’re physically affectionate

Things may have slowed down over the years.

And the days of ripping each other’s clothes off in a frenzied passion may have passed.

This is a pretty common occurrence (and not necessarily a bad thing).

Psychologists say, most long-term couples report that passion fades and takes a less prominent role as a relationship matures. While other areas usually develop and become stronger. Stuff like emotional intimacy, trust, and respect.

That doesn’t mean there’s NO affection.

Just a different flavor.

I’m talking about a strong and lengthy morning embrace, lounging on the sofa together while watching a movie, and of course, those more intimate moments.

Sex is still important because it can help you feel closer to your partner, improve happiness, and increase mental well-being. But it’s not everything.

6) They respect you

I think this is the perfect one to end on.

It encapsulates all of the above points nicely.

For me, respect means that they accept you for who you are. They make an effort to listen to and acknowledge your feelings, opinions, goals, and beliefs (even if they don’t agree with them). They demonstrate empathy and hold their hands up when they make a mistake.

This fosters trust, security, and mental well-being in a relationship.

And in my opinion, showing respect is the ultimate sign that your partner loves you more than ever!

Something that top psychologists tend to agree on.

Because without respect, you’re lacking a fundamental piece of the puzzle.

Just imagine for a moment being with someone who doesn’t respect you. They’d bulldoze their decisions through without consulting you first, hurt your feelings or embarrass you in public, and generally make you feel like crap!

Why would you want to be in a relationship with no mutual respect?