7 signs your partner is taking you for granted, according to psychology
You may feel a nagging sense that your partner isn’t valuing you as they should, or perhaps you’re just feeling unseen and unheard.
How can you discern if your partner is genuinely taking you for granted, or if it’s just a rough patch that every couple experiences?
After consulting with numerous psychologists and diving deep into the intricacies of relationship dynamics, I’ve compiled a list of 7 signs that might indicate your partner is taking you for granted.
If these signs hit home, it might be time to re-evaluate the balance in your relationship.
1) They rarely initiate plans
In a balanced relationship, both partners actively contribute to planning quality time together – whether that’s a romantic date night or just a simple evening in front of the TV.
Yet, you’ve started to notice a shift. You’re always the one suggesting movie nights, planning weekend outings, or even just initiating a conversation.
It’s as if they’re just along for the ride, rather than being an equal participant in your shared journey.
This could be a clear indication that your partner is taking you for granted. They may have grown so comfortable with your presence and efforts that they no longer feel the need to contribute equally.
2) They’re overly independent
Independence is typically viewed as a positive trait, and indeed it is – to some extent. However, when your partner becomes excessively independent to the point of excluding you from their daily life, it could be a sign that they’re taking you for granted.
In a healthy relationship, there’s a balance between independence and interdependence. You respect each other’s need for individual space, but also cherish the shared experiences that bring you closer.
If your partner is constantly prioritizing their own needs, interests, or friendships over you, they might be disregarding the importance of your role in their life.
They’ve become so self-reliant that they’ve forgotten the value of your presence and support.
3) They don’t appreciate your efforts
In any relationship, it’s the small gestures of love and care that keep the spark alive. You might cook their favorite meal, keep up with their laundry, or support them in their career goals.
But lately, it seems like your efforts go unnoticed. Your partner rarely expresses gratitude or reciprocates your gestures. It’s as if they’ve come to expect these things from you, without considering the effort and thought you put into them.
This could be a sign that your partner is taking you for granted. They’ve become so accustomed to your acts of love that they no longer see them as something special.
Remember, reciprocity is not about keeping score; it’s about mutual appreciation and respect.
4) They’re always on their phone
In today’s digital age, it’s nearly impossible to avoid screens. We use our phones for work, socializing, and even leisure activities.
But did you know the average person checks their phone 96 times a day? That’s once every 10 minutes!
While it’s perfectly normal to use our phones frequently, it becomes a problem when your partner is more interested in their screen than they are in you.
When you’re together, they’re constantly scrolling through social media or replying to non-urgent texts.
This lack of presence could indicate that your partner is taking you for granted. They assume you’ll always be there, so they don’t feel the need to give you their undivided attention.
5) They dismiss your feelings
We all have moments of vulnerability when we wear our hearts on our sleeves. It’s during these times that we rely on our partners the most, seeking understanding, comfort, and reassurance.
But what happens when your partner dismissively shrugs off your concerns or belittles your feelings? Instead of empathizing, they might say you’re overreacting or being too sensitive.
Such dismissive behavior can be deeply hurtful. It’s a sign that they’re taking your emotional needs for granted.
They’re so secure in the relationship that they don’t feel the need to validate your feelings or provide emotional support.
6) They’re overly critical
Constructive criticism from a loved one can help us grow and become better versions of ourselves. However, there’s a stark difference between helpful feedback and constant nitpicking.
If your partner always finds something to criticize – your cooking, your dressing style, your work ethic – they might be taking you for granted.
They’ve become so comfortable that they feel entitled to critique every aspect of your life.
This doesn’t mean they’re trying to improve you or the relationship; it could simply mean they’ve stopped appreciating your uniqueness.
7) They make major decisions without you
In a relationship, big decisions are usually made together. Whether it’s about moving to a new city, adopting a pet, or even choosing a new couch, both partners’ opinions should be considered.
But if your partner makes major decisions without consulting you or considering your viewpoint, they could be taking you for granted. They might assume that you will go along with whatever they decide because you always have.
This disregard for your opinion can be deeply hurtful. It’s not just about the decision itself; it’s about their lack of respect for your feelings and thoughts.
Understanding the dynamics
Relationships are complex, intricate tapestries woven with threads of shared experiences, mutual respect, and understanding.
However, sometimes, the balance can tip, and one partner can start taking the other for granted. It’s important to remember that this doesn’t necessarily mean they no longer care or that they’re intentionally causing distress.
Often, it’s an unconscious behavior born out of comfort and familiarity.
When we get too comfortable in our relationships, we tend to forget that our partners also need continuous appreciation and validation. We fall into a routine and begin to see their efforts as an obligation rather than a gesture of love. This is where the subconscious act of taking someone for granted begins.
However, if you find yourself consistently on the receiving end of these behaviors and notice multiple signs from the above list present in your relationship, it might be time for a sincere conversation.
Communication is key. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how their actions make you feel rather than what they’re doing wrong.
It’s possible for patterns to change. With open communication and mutual effort, relationships can regain their balance.
In the end, every individual deserves a relationship where they feel valued, respected, and loved equally.
Embracing self-love
At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that you are your own person, with or without a partner. You have value and worth that is not defined by anyone else.
It’s essential to embrace self-love – not just as a response to feeling taken for granted, but as a fundamental principle in life.
When you start loving yourself deeply and truly, you set a standard for how others should treat you. You recognize your worth and refuse to settle for less than you deserve.
You learn to prioritize your own needs and feelings, and you understand that it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes.
In a relationship where you’re feeling taken for granted, self-love is the first step towards resolving the issue. It gives you the confidence to express your feelings and stand up for yourself.
It helps you set boundaries and communicate your needs effectively.
So, if you’re feeling taken for granted by your partner, take a step back and focus on self-love.
Start with simple things like taking care of your physical health, pursuing hobbies you enjoy, or even just spending some time alone with your thoughts.
Remember, self-love is not selfish; it’s an act of survival. It’s about respecting yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.
And perhaps most importantly, it’s about realizing that you are enough – just as you are.