Sometimes, you find yourself in a relationship with a woman who you realize that you don’t know as well as you’d like.

The usual story is that you meet and really fall for her, but in a fairly superficial way. It might be all about her looks or sex. Or it could be that her smile and mannerisms make you a smitten kitten.

So you fall into things, and soon you’re in a relationship or at least some sort of situationship.

But at some point, you wonder how much you know about her, and you wonder if she’s actually a good match for you.

Is she going to be someone that you spend some time with and move on, or is she really someone you want to get serious with?

Maybe it’s time to start asking yourself some big questions.

If you’re wondering if she’s the kind of person you should really try to build a future with, you have a lot to think about, but psychology can help.

These six signs your partner is a high-quality woman, according to psychology, can help you figure out whether you’re going to be compatible and if you can have a durable relationship with her.

Let’s get into these clues! 

1) She has good self-esteem.

According to the American Psychological Association, self-esteem is “the degree to which the qualities and characteristics contained in one’s self-concept are perceived to be positive.”

It’s made up of the person’s self-image and how they feel they live up to their capabilities and values.

Basically, self-esteem is how good a person feels about themself.

It’s not going to be a big surprise, then, that self-esteem is a good predictor of relationship satisfaction.

This goes for both partners, of course. Studies show that this relationship satisfaction is related to the degree to which the two partners have good self-esteem.

At the same time, when one partner’s self-esteem increases, both partners’ relationship satisfaction goes up.

If you’re looking for a high-quality woman, going for someone with a solid amount of self-esteem is a good idea. By virtue of this level of self-esteem, she’s going to make it a lot easier to build a happy relationship, and if yours is also high, you’re very likely to be able to be very happy together.

2) She’s financially stable.

I know what you’re probably thinking. Am I just saying that it’s great if a woman has her own money so that you don’t have to support her?

Isn’t that a bit messed up?!

Yeah, I agree. And no, that’s not what I’m saying here.

Financial stability is something we can all appreciate both in our own lives and in others as well, including our partners, of course.

And there’s a very good reason for that, too.

According to research, financial worries are very tightly linked to psychological distress. People who don’t have financial stability unfortunately have to deal with piles of stress and worry while those who are stable can avoid much of these issues.

Financial instability has also been directly linked to depression.

While it’s nice when a person can buy themself a drink, it’s even better when they can take care of their own finances thoroughly and consistently. 

This adds a level of stability to their lives and keeps a lot of problems and worries away.

3) She’s not (too) jealous.

If you’ve been together for a while, you’ve probably had opportunities to see how she behaves around other women that she might perceive as her romantic rivals.

You might have female friends or colleagues who you’re close with or perhaps you have a magnetic personality that draws strangers to you.

How does she react when you get attention from other women?

According to psychological research, when you bond with someone, you can develop feelings of love, of course, but jealousy usually also rears its head. The benefits you get from a loving bond with someone else can be threatened by rivals. It’s pretty normal, then, to feel jealousy as a means of protecting yourself from the loss of these benefits and great feelings.

At the same time, though, a whole lot of jealousy isn’t a good thing. Research shows that “romantic jealousy is associated with more insecure and anxious attachments.”

In other words, people who are confident and secure in their relationships are less jealous, while those who are worried and insecure about them will be more jealous.

Look, a little jealousy can be nice. It shows that she cares and wants to continue being with you.

But when it comes to a lot of jealousy, things can get ugly. 

This can lead to a lack of trust, extreme behavior like secretly following you and checking after you, and even unprovoked aggression toward people she deems as possible rivals for your affection.

A high-quality woman might show you a little jealousy now and again but will never let it get out of hand.

4) She’s positive.

Now, before you go thinking about things in the wrong direction, I want to make it clear I’m talking about positivity and happiness in life.

A high-quality woman is not going to be someone who’s constantly weighed down, and weighing you down, by negativity.

Instead, she’s going to keep things on the plus side, be optimistic, and generally see things in a positive light.

A woman who is very negative and is always complaining, criticizing, and grumbling is probably quite neurotic or troubled. It may also be that this negativity is caused by low self-esteem or a poor self-concept that she then projects out into the world around her.

If she’s not happy with herself, she’s going to struggle to be positive about anything.

At the same time, a positive woman is going to have a much better outlook on life. She’ll expect things to go well, including your relationship, and that positivity can actually help make it happen.

If you do find a woman you really like who’s quite negative, however, all’s not lost.

Research shows that positivity can be learned and practiced. When it is, it leads to higher resilience and greater satisfaction in life, both things anyone would love to see in their romantic partner.

5) She expresses gratitude.

I mean that she’s grateful for the good things in her life, not just expressing her gratitude to you.

Of course, she might see you as one of those good things and might show that she’s grateful for having you with her. There’s nothing wrong with that – showing your partner that you really appreciate them is something most people long for.

But in a more general sense, a high-quality woman is going to show her gratitude for all the great things she has going on in her life.

Of course, it’s easy to be thankful when things are going tremendously well, but that’s not the only time people should practice gratitude. Focusing on the positives that you experience, even when they’re few and far between, can help improve life satisfaction and overall well-being.

Like positivity, though, we can also learn to practice gratitude in our lives, and that can truly make a difference to improve things for us.

For example, you can write down the things you’re grateful for every day or send messages to people telling them you’re thankful for them.

Doing exercises like this has been shown to improve people’s well-being and happiness and can even be a good intervention for people struggling with depression. 

But a high-quality woman will already know the importance and power of gratitude and will express it in her daily life.

6) She’s empathetic.

Given the choice, you’ll want to be in a relationship with a woman who’s very empathetic instead of one who’s not.

According to studies, empathy plays an important role in relationships and greatly affects relationship satisfaction.

When women are more empathetic, their partners express more happiness in their relationships. The research suggests that “individuals who are able to understand their partners’ feelings and viewpoints are better able to approach conflict in a more prosocial way, which in turn accounts for higher perceived relationship quality.”

Empathy in a partner can also help you feel more understood, heard, and appreciated. And those are all things that we’re looking for in our relationships.

Partners in empathetic relationships also experience fewer conflicts and less depression.

If you want to find out if you’re with a high-quality woman, think about how empathetic she is. 

Does she understand and relate to your feelings and her own?

Can she take on your perspective and treat you with compassion?

If she can, you probably have a great woman on your hands.

Final thoughts

These six signs your partner is a high-quality woman, according to psychology, are definitely things to look out for if you’re trying to assess your relationship.

If she shows some or all of these qualities, you’re probably in a relationship with one heck of a partner, and you should probably think seriously about taking things to the next level.