9 signs your love for each other is more platonic than romantic
Navigating the world of emotions isn’t always straightforward. Especially when it comes to love.
Is it a passionate, romantic love or a comfortable, platonic love? Sometimes it’s hard to tell.
You may think you’re head over heels for someone, only to realize that what you feel is more of a deep friendship than a romantic relationship.
Don’t worry, it happens. And sometimes, recognizing this can save you from potential heartbreak.
In this article, I’ll share with you 9 signs that your love for each other is more platonic than romantic. Let’s dive in!
1) You’re more comfortable than excited
Comfort is sweet, isn’t it? It’s that cozy feeling when you’re totally yourself around someone, no pretenses needed. It’s the bedrock of every solid relationship, from friendships to romances.
But in love, there should also be a spark, right? That butterfly-in-your-stomach excitement, that ache when they’re not around, that craving for more than just comfort.
If your feelings lean more towards cozy comfort than fiery passion, it could mean your love is more platonic than romantic.
2) Romantic gestures feel forced
I’ll never forget the time my best friend and I decided to take our relationship to the next level. We’d been inseparable for years, shared countless laughs and secrets, and it seemed like the logical next step.
On our first date, he bought me a beautiful bouquet of roses, just like he’d seen in the movies. But when he handed them to me, it felt… awkward. We both laughed nervously and quickly moved on to another topic of conversation.
Over the next few weeks, we tried doing all the typical ‘couple’ things. Candlelit dinners, romantic walks, surprise gifts – you name it. But every gesture felt forced, like we were playing roles in a movie rather than being ourselves.
That’s when we realized that our feelings for each other were more platonic than romantic. We cared deeply about each other, but those grand gestures of romance just didn’t fit our relationship.
3) Physical intimacy doesn’t come naturally
Physical intimacy is a key component of romantic love, ranging from holding hands to more intimate actions. It distinguishes romantic relationships from platonic friendships.
Interestingly, studies found that couples who are more physically affectionate tend to have higher levels of relationship satisfaction.
Now, if physical affection feels awkward or forced between you and your partner, it could indicate a more platonic connection than a romantic one.
It’s not just about frequency—it’s about the desire behind it. If gestures like kissing or cuddling feel obligatory rather than heartfelt, it’s worth reconsidering the nature of your relationship.
4) You don’t feel jealous
While a touch of jealousy is normal in relationships, excessive amounts aren’t healthy. They can signal a deep care for your partner and a fear of losing them.
But if your partner’s interactions with others don’t evoke any jealousy, it could suggest your bond is more platonic than romantic.
Let’s be clear: In a friendship, you’re content with your friend’s connections, feeling no threat. Yet, in a romantic relationship, seeing your partner grow close to others may trigger feelings of insecurity or possessiveness.
5) You don’t envision a future together
In love, we often dream of the future—growing old together, starting a family, building a life. But if you can’t see a future with your partner or it makes you uneasy, your love might lean more platonic than romantic.
Sure, not everyone daydreams about the future, but if you’re missing that vision, it’s worth considering.
My advice? Reflect on your feelings and talk openly with your partner. Honest communication can shed light on where your relationship stands.
6) You love them, but you’re not ‘in love’ with them
This might seem like a cliché, but it’s a real feeling that many people experience. You can deeply care for someone, appreciate their qualities, and cherish the moments you share without being ‘in love’ with them.
Being ‘in love’ often includes feelings of passion, a sense of longing when apart, and a desire for a deeper, more intimate connection.
If you find yourself saying, “I love them, but I’m not ‘in love’ with them,” it could be a sign that your relationship is more platonic than romantic.
Bear in mind, it’s okay to love someone without being in love with them. It doesn’t diminish the value of your relationship; it just means it’s different from what society often labels as ‘romantic.’
7) You’re not afraid to disagree or argue
Once, I found myself in a relationship where we rarely disagreed, let alone argued. Everything seemed smooth, and we avoided confrontations at all costs. It felt safe, but it also felt… stagnant.
Then I realized – we were more concerned about preserving our friendship than expressing our true feelings or risking a romantic fallout.
In a romantic relationship, disagreements are natural. You’re two different individuals, after all, with your own thoughts and opinions. But you argue because you care enough about the relationship to fight for it.
If you’re holding back your thoughts to maintain peace, it might be because you value the friendship more than the romance. It could be a sign that your love for each other is more platonic than romantic.
8) You prioritize your friendship over romance
Friendship is the rock-solid foundation of any relationship, but in romance, there’s that extra spark of passion.
If you’re constantly favoring the friend zone over romantic gestures, it could signal your love leans more towards friendship.
Opting for cozy nights in over candlelit dinners or choosing friend hangouts over romantic outings? It might be time to ponder if your feelings are platonic or romantic.
But hold off on conclusions. Take a moment to dig into your emotions and have an open heart-to-heart with your partner. When it comes to matters of the heart, honesty is your best bet.
9) You’re completely okay with the idea of them dating someone else
In romance, the thought of your partner with someone else can stir up all sorts of emotions—sadness, jealousy, fear. But in a platonic friendship, you want what’s best for your buddy, even if that means them finding love elsewhere.
So, how would you feel if they found someone new? If you’re cool with it, or even happy for them, it’s a clear sign your love leans more platonic than romantic. It’s all about wanting their happiness above all else.
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all love. Whether it’s platonic or romantic, what counts is the respect, care, and affection you share.
Final thoughts: Love is fluid
If you’re nodding along to most of these signs, your love might lean more platonic than romantic—and that’s totally cool.
Romantic love isn’t the be-all and end-all. Platonic love can be just as deep and fulfilling.
Ultimately, it’s about the connection you share and the joy it brings to your life.
So whether it’s platonic or romantic, treasure the love you’ve got. Because in all its shapes and sizes, love is what makes life truly beautiful.